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  1. ShadeTrenicin

    HE'S BACK! I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery

    Thanks Toast! Unfortunately today is day 0. A 'classic' PMO relapse. The past days I've just been going and going without properly reflecting even though I was tired. Last night I couldn't sleep and got dragged into the trap. It immediately also exposed how not in touch I've been with my...
  2. ShadeTrenicin

    Porn is not an option

    Well done Blondie! Keep going strong my friend! You can be incredibly proud of what you've achieved
  3. ShadeTrenicin

    HE'S BACK! I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery

    Thanks for your words Toast! I really, really like the quote. Great words to live by in these dark times. So yesterday I went to my first ever Sex and Love Addiction Anonymous meeting. There were like a lot of likeminded people with problems very similar to mine, which was reassuring. However...
  4. ShadeTrenicin

    HE'S BACK! I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery

    Day 6 Thanks Blondie! So today is 'the day' when we are getting all the test results of the various scans and such that have been performed on my father. So it's just waiting in anticipation until we know when that is happening. Luckily I have therapy today which will help me and tonight, if...
  5. ShadeTrenicin

    HE'S BACK! I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery

    Day 5. Yesterday I got the gut-wrenching news that they found 2 masses in my fathers brain that are metastasised from a cancer elsewhere in his body. I can't even begin to describe the hopelessness I feel about this and the incredible dread and pain. Yesterday was incredibly complex in terms of...
  6. ShadeTrenicin

    The dark places will always be present, but don’t let that keep you from looking for the light

    Well done CloseToToast! Keep an eye on those nasty thoughts that sneak in every once in a while and find a way to bend them into gym power!
  7. ShadeTrenicin

    HE'S BACK! I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery

    Thanks WInkTink! And yes, we do always have control! We just love to feel like we don't as addicts. So today was relatively ok. Started at the gym and then work, cooked and now on here. Be in bed early today. Nothing special to report other than that keeping busy helps with dealing with...
  8. ShadeTrenicin

    My rebooting journal

    Hi Iampf! First of all welcome to the forum and well done for taking the first step in what is going to be a difficult but rewarding journey. We all want to be free of this addiction but it's going to be tough and there will be relapses. The point is that we have to keep going and help...
  9. ShadeTrenicin

    HE'S BACK! I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery

    Ever since November I've come to terms with the fact that I have an addictive personality. This means that I'm susceptible to most addictions (with the exception of smoking luckily). So, as I'm unsure what to call relapsing any more (apart from PMO) so I've made a list. PMO Weed Alcohol Ever...
  10. ShadeTrenicin

    Porn is not an option

    Wow blondie, you've come really really far! Well done. I'm going to read your topic (again). Take care and keep it up!
  11. ShadeTrenicin

    HE'S BACK! I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery

    Hello all, It's been almost two years since I've posted here and unfortunately I've not rid myself of the addiction. A lot has happened in the past two years.. At the beginning of 2023 I went into a burn-out. The first 6 weeks were actually really good as I not relapsed at all. Then...
  12. ShadeTrenicin

    HE'S BACK! I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery

    Hey all, thanks for all the comments. Im doing well, day 9, and deliberately not going on to much as a new approach. Sorry for not being here to support others at the moment. Wish you all well of course. Take care
  13. ShadeTrenicin

    HE'S BACK! I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery

    Hey Orbiter! Thanks a lot for your post! It means a lot to me. Ive been struggling and I've had to come to terms with the fact that I've outsmarted myself with regards to the limitations on the router. Somehow that was a big emotional setback. I've been trying to recenter and come up with a...
  14. ShadeTrenicin

    HE'S BACK! I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery

    Thanks @particularly_respecting . Today is day 9. So the stuff with the router, the training wheels so to say, again didnt work out. A little technical; i want to force a specific DNS on my router and block sites and any kind of porn. On my own router i could do that but somehow that doesn't...
  15. ShadeTrenicin

    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    Hey, Orbiter. I think it's great that you got control of the situation and stopped. This is a pretty significant action imo. Because it shows awareness of what is going on and how you really feel. It means that, although you went on autopilot to watch P, you've grown to see the impact it has...
  16. ShadeTrenicin

    HE'S BACK! I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery

    Thank you all for the reactions, they really help! Day 8 today! It's amazing how time flies. And although the last two days were very difficult I managed to persevere. I am absolutely knackered so little imput from me at this point. I only want to report that today I finaly have time to fix...
  17. ShadeTrenicin

    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    Hey Orbiter, great going!
  18. ShadeTrenicin

    HE'S BACK! I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery

    Thanks a lot Phineas! To restrict, or not restrict, I've been mulling this over in my head for the past days and for me i'm now positively sure the number 1 trigger is the ability to do it. It has been like that ever since my wife and I moved in together 12 years a go. Whenever she went out...
  19. ShadeTrenicin

    Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation

    This is an excellent question! I think a lot of us sometimes forget that we're also just men. Physical beings with a natural attraction to attractive women.But it can sometimes be confusing to seperate that from addiction. Also I see a lot of reports, but if I may ask what plan/approach are...
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