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  1. workinprogressUK

    Started Friday July 3rd

    I gain good stuff very time I read one of your posts, my friend. Congratulations on a life well-live. Keep up that great work!!
  2. workinprogressUK

    My journey to be a better man.

    I feel your pain, having been in a similar place for much of the last nine years. Maybe one way to look at the challenge is to ensure that our actions create an environment for reconciliation and future connection, and don't cause any more problems. It doesn't guarantee a happy ending, but gives...
  3. workinprogressUK

    See them grow up

    For a long while, I've felt like there's no risk whatsoever of me relapsing. I just don't feel like "that guy" any more. But I triggered a couple of days back and suddenly, going back to P seems like the most natural and desirable thing imaginable. I've lived this pattern so many times before...
  4. workinprogressUK

    Cam Girl Addiction: From Financially Savvy to Buried in Debt

    Congrats on making it through the day, yesterday. I empathise with your feelings of desperation - knowing that you don't want to go back, but going all the same. Sincerely hope you have managed another clean day. As I understand it, keeping the consequences of using "front of mind" - the...
  5. workinprogressUK

    18 Principles of Recovery

    I appreciate the effort you've gone to in curating this list, Phineas. I know that a lot of thought has gone into it, and continues to go into it. Lots that I can learn from it and hope to hold onto. Thank you.
  6. workinprogressUK

    See them grow up

    Nearly fell down the hole yesterday. Home alone. Period of intense work stress ended. I think making a conscious decision to shut down the rat runs reminded my chimp brain that I had easy routes to P. As soon as I think about them, I'm so week. Almost like an automatic no-brainer to go browse P...
  7. workinprogressUK

    See them grow up

    Honest reflection today, on the "Matt Dobschuetz" concept of "being all in". I've been winning my battle, but I haven't yet gone "all in" on recovery. I've left rat-runs back to my dirty life that I could scurry back down if I wanted to. Why am I afraid of success? What's to fear from burning...
  8. workinprogressUK

    A Porn Story

    "what's next" is a great question. I'll try to store that for next time I'm triggered. And your story about the dark room is so true. I think you can go even further, though, in that for us, WE KNOW that the killer's hiding in the dark room, don't we? We might sometimes step through the door...
  9. workinprogressUK

    See them grow up

    I'm fortunate to have a job that I enjoy and that rewards me well but I'm not good at acknowledging and celebrating success at work. Today I won big and the rewards will make a difference for me and my family. I couldn't have won if I had still been a porn user. My wife and kids wouldn't have...
  10. workinprogressUK

    See them grow up

    Good of you to say hello, mate. Thanks for your kind words. Hoping that you continue to win your battle.
  11. workinprogressUK

    See them grow up

    6 weeks since I was last here. No desire for P or to log-in here during that time. Why? Work so intense recently and family life fulfilling. Porn creeps into me through the vacuum of boredom and unresolved relationship needs. I left no vacuum. So what's changed today? Big night out on Saturday...
  12. workinprogressUK

    See them grow up

    Nothing is more important to my recovery than living in the here and now. As soon as I allow my mind to wander into what-if, could have been, wish it were, wish I hadn't, if only...... then I diminish the good things I should appreciate, minimise them.... and open my brain up to fantasy and a...
  13. workinprogressUK

    See them grow up

    Back from holiday and checking-in. Still feeling good. I haven't missed this forum as much as I thought I would. Connection ebbs and flows, and my tide has been on the way out for a while. I'm sure I'll still journal occasionally, but I'll be here less often.
  14. workinprogressUK

    See them grow up

    Very much agree. Habits form powerfully for me, for good and for bad. I think of books like "Thinking Fast & Slow" and the power of the automatic mind and it's easy to see how becoming conscious of our habits can have profound impact on outcomes. Taking stock: 20 May 2020 was the last time I...
  15. workinprogressUK

    See them grow up

    Grateful to be more purposeful, productive and positive today. Could be because I started out by telephoning a bunch of people and having conversations, walking round the garden, rather than just going to my desk and logging on. Didn't get to my desk until 10:30. Must try to do more of that. I...
  16. workinprogressUK

    Started Friday July 3rd

    Glad to read that things are still good for you, TheNorman. Sport, socialising and a couple of beers, without worrying about making each other ill, sounds like my idea of a perfect summer :cool:. Fingers crossed! I appreciate that line at the end of your post... "Killing the P addiction is not...
  17. workinprogressUK

    See them grow up

    Early night again last night, and I didn't want to get out of bed again this morning. I'm sleeping a lot and still lacking drive or energy. Worrying trend that I need to address. Generally low emotional response to life. I need to make time for a walk today. Get away from my obligations for a...
  18. workinprogressUK

    When you believe in magic

    I can identify with your negative vibes, because I have a similarly flat libido, which shows no recovery after a long spell clean. I recall having days like the one above, typically around 120 days in, when I'd think "what's the big deal about this reboot bullshit, after all". I tend to think of...
  19. workinprogressUK

    See them grow up

    No P. Approaching a year since last binge, allowing for one-hour slip-up back in August. My actions at the start of 2020 put everything I value at risk, so I'm grateful to be functional and reliable now. It could be that COVID-19, hopefully the most universally miserable episode of our...
  20. workinprogressUK

    Lost case. Relapse in day 60

    I can identify with your challenge, having found it easier to stop viewing porn than to stop fantasising. Continuing with fantasy inevitably looped me back to watching porn though. I've been on here for 7-8 years, I think. This is my 4th proper attempt at healing. For the last 8 months I've been...
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