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    Terrible Relapse, Terrible Location

    I've been an addict for 9 years. I went 27 days, relapsed, and just relapsed last night after 47 days more. You might call that substantial, but if it's anything less than complete sobriety, it's not enough for me. Especially since one relapse usually acts as a domino effect into more of them...
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    A Desperate Escape

    I've relapsed for the millionth time. My mental state is near collapse. I almost made it to 90 days back in February. I felt like I was on top of the world. I felt amazing. My dream is to escape. So I'll start again. Here we go. Day 1. My mental state hasn't been this poor in a long time. I...
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    The Worst Part Of My Addiction

    Porn addiction has caused me no shortage of pain over the years. I've said and done things I'm horribly ashamed of because of the mindset it puts me in. I've suffered literal mental breakdowns because of the heightened anxiety. Times when I was an emotional wreck for weeks on end feeling like...
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    I need an app and some advice

    I haven't posted on this forum in at least 6 months. My life has been changing for the better and I've been better at managing my addiction, but I've still got a long way to go. I met a wonderful woman and we've been dating almost 4 months to the day. I just started sobering up when I met her...
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    Tried Therapy.

    After an emotional breakdown after work one day to to my complete and utter misery being stuck at my job and in the life I've made for myself, I decided to seek a therapist. I had one session with him earlier this week. Told him of my porn addiction and everything it's done to me. He didn't...
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    Sinking Deeper

    Ok, I'm here again. And I haven't improved. I was able to do about a week before relapsing. Went twice in one night. Went a week before relapsing twice again in one sitting. The last few days have been awful. Not only because I've been exhausted (orgasm is the ultimate natural tranquilizer after...
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    Save Me

    I can't stop. I'm in hell and I want out. It's been seven years. I need something drastic. Save me please.
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    Still I Go Nowhere.

    My greatest achievement in sobriety since I became an addict almost 7 (dear God) years ago was going 62 days without porn. That ended back in January. Since then I have struggled to even go a week. And lately, I've been on a hell of a losing streak. I went 62 days as a desperate bid to escape...
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    Porn is Literally Going to Kill Me and I Can't Stop

    If any of you have seen me post before, then you know how deep I'm in. 6 and a half years of porn addiction, and now I fear I'm nearing the end of everything. I've had mental breakdowns over porn induced anxiety and I almost was consumed again last fall. During the months of mental torture that...
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    Nothing's Working

    I cannot stop relapsing. I've gone about 5 times in a week. That's off-the-charts bad even for me. Almost did two weeks, then completely bombed. Reading reminders every day doesn't help. Talking to people doesn't help. In fact, the reason I relapsed my latest time is because I was reading about...
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    I Need To Vent

    I haven't posted in while because I didn't need to. But I need to air some grievances. I just relapsed after almost 9 weeks of sobriety, the longest I've gone since I started. My motivation was and still is the fear of the abyss. Back in September, I went 2 weeks without porn. I had a very...
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    Horrifying Wet Dream (Warning: Highly Disturbing)

    I'm slightly over a month sober and I just had my first wet dream. I don't know how to say this, but it was a little boy. I'm horrified. I'm not attracted to children, nor have I ever been. I think pedophilia is sick and people who practice it should be given death. It wasn't even a sexual...
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    Worse Than Ever

    A few months ago I was 2 weeks into a reboot before having a disturbing sexual dream which brought up unpleasant memories. That night, the stress triggered me to relapse twice. The anxiety I suffered immediately after awakening almost triggered a mental breakdown. It would have been my third...
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    I'm Starting To Wonder If I Was Molested

    Lately I've been wondering if I was molested as a child. I started experiencing sort of sexual feelings and thoughts at an early age and I didn't really know what to do with them. Thoughts and fantasies were fleeting and I never really gave them much thought since they really didn't effect my...
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    Reboot Roadmap

    I've attempted a reboot several times over the course of the past year. As an addict going on 6 years, I'm proud to say it's been my most productive year ever. However, I'm afraid that I still have far to go before I'm capable of reaching 90 days. I've only ever lasted a total of 5 weeks and in...
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    Dreams Complicate My Life

    Anyone else have porn dreams during the first few weeks of a reboot? I've been having them repeatedly lately. Always the same deal: I either get the urge to look at porn or look at porn in my dreams and fight with myself to stop from getting off to it. This actually has me mostly pleased. On one...
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    Resistance Techniques

    Hey all! I'm trying to gather a list of different techniques/methods that people use to avoid/fight the urge to look at porn. I'm hoping to give people some helpful ideas in their own rebooting journey that they might not have thought of.  I'll list my own techniques, but please feel free to add...
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    Unhealthy Obsession Over Gym Girl

    As I've written previously, my abuse of porn has destroyed my ability to interact with women and pollutes my mind with obsessions about them which I can't seem to shake, even if I don't know them. My most recent case involves a woman from my gym. In fact, she's the trainer. When I first started...
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    I Don't Know If I Can Sink Any Lower

    I just relapsed. Twice. And I relapsed two days ago. And then two days before that. Four days in a week. My worst porn binge in months. And right at the time where I realized I hate porn more than I ever knew I could. I just want to shout from the rooftops how much I hate it. It's taken...
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    My Trouble With Women

    I just need to vent a little about some things and I figured this would be the place to do it. I'm almost two weeks into another reboot attempt. I'm just taking it one day at a time and dealing with withdrawal effects as they come. Porn has worsened my ability to interact with women and I was...
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