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Thanks for the info

I’ve also come to the conclusion that masturbating is not for me. The urge to maturbate is the same as p. It is just less heightened. It’s always to release tension. Not to mention, it is always to some sort of fantasy which increases risk of relapse. I don’t give a crap about semen retention...

It’s going to be about two weeks since I last used. One thing I hate about China is you have to have a smart phone. You need to constantly scan codes to do anything which link to website so your information and location can be tracked. This has led to many times of using because having to take...

Writing in here again because I took blockers off my phone. At the moment, I had a mini panic attack that I was gonna use again. As absurd as it sounds I was genuinely considering looking up porn while at the airport waiting for my flight. This will be the first time I am home in three years. I...

Thanks for the recommendation. I will start putting these things into practice. I really do appreciate all the advice and guidance.

I'm honestly a bit terrified to remove anything. At the moment, I don't think about p, but when I get urges now, it's like my head is about to explode and I get a really bad stress headache. Today, I had really bad urges and it felt like that. It took me over an hour to calm down. I have no...

Thanks, Phineas, I just was feeling worse because of the cyclical nature of this and my dependency on blockers to make any headway.

nothing good to report. maybe i go a month then relapse. tired. extremely depressed because some personal problems. porn doesn't even really help just gives me a stress headache

I put on blockers again. I did relapse for like two weeks then about a few days ago relapsed from an old phone. Everything is back in place. I know if I manage urges once on my own it makes it much easier. Like for example when I had stopped myself from using another device to download I rarely...

Made it through the rest of the day felt miserable still feeling quite horrible today. I know I can urge surf I’ve done it just need to keep doing it.

I’m gonna focus on practicing urge surfing and not freak out about my failures. I need to start doing this more. I need to accept I will continue to have urges for p for a long time.

Got urges did not urge surf ashamed of the edging relapse. I didn’t finish which is probably worse. Maybe 3 hours total idk. Depressing to say the least. If I made it over this huge urge today, they would have died a lot. I had it for my phone blockers and I got over it. Sigh depressed now

Yea, it’s very sad to read about these things and people realizing after irreversible changes that it was their porn addiction and fetishes developed.

Yep, so far I’m okay, but I’m yet to have crazy urges.

Cancelled my covenant eyes subscription last night. I’m so far feeling alright. The tests will be when I get triggered randomly because the euphoric recall is easier to notice. Just got to accept this stuff and expect it more often.

I’ve had more euphoric recall. I’m really tired I want to sleep. I have had some really bad urges and I want to use which is okay. I need to accept this and not freak out or act out that’s what screws me is the mental freak out followed by acting out.

My blockers have only helped in the sense they have created a line I can’t cross in my head. Otherwise they essentially become useless because you activate the porn seeking part of your brain when trying to get around them and eventually there is a way, but having that mental block has given me...

Lately, I have been having some really bad euphoric recall. I always have a lot of it when I’m very tired and I am trying to sleep. I’m not sure how to fully stop it because it will happen when I’m half awake. When I’m conscious of it, it is easier to cut off. My covenant eyes subscription is...

I don’t know how much you need internet or your smart phone, but I would consider getting rid of anything that connects to the internet and get a flip phone. Forced space away from p until urges can become more manageable.

I definitely have similar pmo habits to you with the bingeing. The tunnel vision when there’s a trigger and the hours of edging is exactly how I am. What’s helped me a lot is just getting time and space away from p, the access to it just being cut off because then my brain doesn’t see at as an...