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Update: When one begins, you have the energy and enthusiasm of beginning and you experience some early successes. Then, as the enthusiasm wears off, you fall back. Typical. So one must compound and not expect success quickly. It will takes months at the very minimum, years more likely. And truth...

Ah, no doubt! I would never want her to read these words, of course! That is where my struggle lies. I am with you that the current situation is not bearable long term and that a decision is necessary. Either I stay with her and find a way to NOT be displeased by, well, body fat essentially, or...

Hello joepanic, I suspect a general answer for the question is not available, meaning that the cause of continuing addiction, even after several successes, may be specific to any one person. But it seems that between neuroscience, this community, psychological insights and the rest, we now can...

Great points. I was never crazy about my current partner. I was never "oh wow" when I saw her. Parts of her body are off putting to me. But I tolerate because the relationship is great. I love her, the emotion is clear. She's funny, warm, cuddly. There's a lot of affection and tenderness between...

No doubt, you're both right. I'm in analysis. Many insights, but no change still in terms of actual life and my ability to make decisions. I have a dream and I cannot let go of it. The dream of the (young-ish) woman who takes your breath away, to use a cliché, but you understand me. My current...

sure am!

Thank you very much for the response, I truly appreciate! Right, that is the dismay. No, rationally I understand a woman 20 years younger than me is not a real necessity for my life, but it is the intensity of that desires that feels unbearable, like it's so much stronger than me that I can't...

Damn relapse! shit My fault is that I want this to be over too quickly. Not possible. Gotta be strong to run the long marathon. How do you refocus after relapse? I have methods to diffuse urges, but when I was both tense and depressed, I couldn't make it. I needed the MO sooo badly. Stronger...

I'm depressed, it feels hopeless lately. Hearing that someone else has this experience too will help me, I think. I would benefit from a sense of community. Can you help me? I haven't seen any porn for 7 months, so that sounds like a success, but not too much because I still sometimes MO with...

Best wishes and good luck, you can do it, you will succeed :)

I trust you!

Thank you Sophie, that helps. Well, the quick check out is probably natural, but the part I want to change is that I fret about the sight, the woman I just saw, and it becomes a fantasy, as if I need that woman to be happy sexually (rather than my girlfriend). It risks to ruin my relationship...

Was tough recently: A friend of my girlfriend is on screen talking to us and I find her (the friend) super hot. "Damn it" I think. On a deeper level, I got to wonder why I need to lust after other women given that I have a beloved partner near me, and I am working on that. But in the moment, I...

Happy to help. Sounds right! Yes, do contact a therapist, you need an unbiased, external, expert opinion, so that you don't feel alone or odd. Nothing you describe seems so strange to me, to be honest. One thing though: you certainly need to stop porn altogether and for good, there's little...

Well, that's a very different perspective! Interesting take. I must admit in the past, I used to think that if two people in a couple can freely talk and joke about the famous people they find hot, it's a good sign. It means they realize a relationship is a choice, not the end of the natural...

Thank you for the message. She does not check out other guys at all! She's marvelous, completely committed to me. She seems completely unfazed by the sigh of the most handsome men. I tried to ask when a good looking actor is on screen, "isn't he handsome?" and she would say "eh, yeah" or "eh...

Hi, well not sure about that, I'm not a psychologist or addiction expert, so I learned the things I wrote about just from available resources and the reboot community and my own therapists. So, you are saying nothing turns you on except feet? Touching a woman's breasts is not a turn on for you...

Yes, ok, point taken. So: "I have a health issue, a porn/sex addiction. No drama, however. Let's find a way to heal that works."

I wrote in another post that excitement is useless. I felt good when I came up with this technique. All right, but now it's the long distance runner. It's not going to work right away: I have months ahead of me, maybe years, maybe the rest of my life. So, every morning, I tell myself: today...

Thank you, glad others agree with me!