This sounds like good inspiration for a mantra. Something you can tell yourself when you're feeling an urge. "Cam girls are here to take my money, period." I've been using a mantra to get over my porn addiction, and it works. Gets myself out of the urge.
Great job, FittyBands. Have you been able to determine what makes a good day or a bad day? What are the stress factors that make you want to go spend money there?
Are you familiar with the concept of "playing the tape"? It means that when you feel the urge to do something like that, try to imagine what you'll feel like afterwards. Probably not too good. Then on the other hand, try to imagine what it will feel like later if you *don't* succumb to the urge...
I feel you. I know that urge very well. If you're able to, I might try journaling in those moments. Just write down what you're feeling. Try putting it into words. I have a Recovery Journal that I write in multiple times a day. It helps to distract me.
These all sound like good distractions, especially the praying and push-ups. Is it possible to do something outside when the urge comes? For me, getting far away from the computer and phone for a few minutes helps a lot.
Thank you for sharing your story, FittyBands. What you wrote is an honest accounting of what has gone wrong in your life, and it's the first step to stopping it. I am new to this journey myself, but the one thing I have learned so far is that honesty - with yourself and with those you have hurt...
Day 10. Tough one today, not because I slipped or relapsed (I didn't), but because of something that happened with my wife. I have to understand the ripple effects of my years of lying to her about my porn use. She doesn't trust me or give me the benefit of the doubt right now, and I don't blame...
Same here. I relapsed after three weeks, and I am so fucking pissed at myself. Is there something about three weeks?? I think my issue was that I started feeling like I had this thing beat, and that's when the addiction reared its ugly head.
Well, I really did it this time. I've been in such a cranky mood the last few days that my wife got very suspicious. She looked at all my posts here and saw that I've been lying to her. I edged the last few days and looked at some images. She asked me each of the last few days about my progress...