Search results

The 12-step groups are not scientific in any way. Their practices are based on anecdotes and what efficacy they have is, in my opinion, coincidental. If you are able to make connections through the group than would be beneficial but that is heavily dependent on your personality and who regularly...

Meditation can be extremely difficult in the beginning, especially for anyone who has a history of trauma. Active addiction can lead to a diminished frontal lobe, although meditation has been shown to reverse this it may also make it more difficult. I have been using a guided meditation through...

I'm a big fan of the data driven approach. I have kept a chart like that for the past year or so. Each day I record a few behaviours/indicators of either healthy or unhealthy progress. This can help you analyse patterns retroactively, but also anticipate trouble and be more proactive. I also...

If you can't be happy without a relationship, you won't be happy in a relationship. It's false hope. If you're not happy with who you are the relationship will only distract you from this for a while. You can't escape yourself and no one else can change you or change your self worth. This is a...

I think you must also consider the possibility that these feelings are valid. Were you not experiencing these symptoms before withdrawl, or were you just blind to them because you were preoccupied with active addiction. In either case, in any case I believe it is possible to improve, how quickly...

There is no fully healed, there is no final step of the journey. You must learn to continuously improve your health and enjoy the journey. As far as wether or not you will experience future withdrawal symptoms; the longer you abstain from it the less frequent and less intense they will be...

@TakeActionNow I have a regular session to talk every day. The problem is that I don't always follow through. I could probably add in some other times to connect on different intervals, weekly, monthly. Might help me get back on track when I fall out of the habit. @Beautiful1973 physical...

@TakeActionNow, you are 100% correct. I have noticed myself losing sight of my overarching goals and allowing the momentary difficulties to influence my perception more than than they should. It is helpful to be reminded occasionally to consider the bigger picture. Thank you for that! My wife...

@TakeActionNow I wouldn't say that my wife is a quiet person, we are both introverted by nature but we converse at length almost every day. Her holding back in certain ways is a deliberate effort to protect herself. If she is vulnerable with me and I betray her again the damage will be worse...

@Gracie, Thanks for the input! There are times when this would be helpful to overcome some of my own difficulties either breaking the ice after I have neglected to initiate conversations for a while or when broaching topics about which I am apprehensive. My struggle now, I think lies more in...

I have been doing a shitty job communicating with my wife. I want to do better but I’m not sure exactly how. I know I need to talk to her regularly about how I am doing to help build trust and connection and I haven't been. The tricky part is that she is not ready to share much herself. She does...

Thanks, @TakeActionNow I don't know if I've learned anything new. At this point I think it's just a matter of applying what I know to my life rather than just intellectualising my problems and holding on to my maladaptive coping strategies. I also continue to better understand things that I...

Day 97 I've been overwhelmed with life, school, work, holidays, family, and then getting sick. It's all starting to calm down and I feel disoriented. It all served as a distraction from my recovery and my emotions, and honestly I have been distracting myself to some extent. Life is starting to...

Some adjustments may be difficult at first but if it helps it will be worth it in the end. Especially in the beginning don't make it any harder than it needs to be. There can potentially be triggers anywhere so it is impossible to avoid everything but you can easily cut out a lot of risk. In the...

Good point. Ultimately the focus needs to be on what you can do to change. Acknowledge what you don't like and what control you have in your situation, and then exercise that control.

@Brianstorm , thank you. This is mostly advice I have heard before but it's nice to have a reminder, and to have it reiterated by someone else. I think this struggle stems from a much deeper part of my personality. It feels wrong to admit that I am being too hard on myself because I have made so...

Looks like you have recognised a few things you could have done differently. Do you have plans to make any changes? If you've done it before, you can do it again, it is possible! If you want to make it easier identify the point where it gets harder to turn back and avoid that. Seeing that video...

Thank you for the feedback, @Brianstorm you are not the first person to tell me this. Soon I might even start to believe it! Seriously though, this is something I struggle with. Honestly, I vacillate between being too hard on myself and not holding myself accountable at all and can't really...

Hey man, looks like you've done some great work identifying triggers. Congratulations! I've got some suggestions if you want to take the next step. Start modifying your habits to avoid the risk of encountering triggers. 1. Stay off of Reddit for at least the first 90 days. It's way too easy...

Day 66 I have been having a lot of trouble connecting with my wife lately and I think one aspect I have not been totally conscious of is my fear of exposing any weakness or doubt. When I mentioned feeling like I have nothing new to say so I avoid talking to her it is usually because I am having...