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I looked at P last week. I looked for about 20 minutes but I wasn't really desiring it and I ended up stopping. I haven't looked at P since that, though I did MO yesterday. I don't really know about M. I feel like I'd prefer not to at this stage but I listened in the YBOP 2015 video Gary Wilson...

My descent was precipitated by joining a forum for gay teens. I was 13 at the time and my family had recently got online. The computer was meant for everyone in the family but it was outside my room in a large house and I was the main user of the machine. I started off looking for p sites. This...

It's been 10 days since my last PMO. The last three months have been ones of growth. I have had a number of slips but never let it hold me back too badly. I've been very tired the last 5-6 weeks after doing too much which has been challenging. Last night I had a strong urge to use P but I came...

I think there's a lot to be learnt from applying insight from other addictions to this one. I gave up nicotine a few years ago and I've had slips here and there but I don't beat myself up about it. I didn't go to 12 steps for it. I did call a support line once and use patches and gum. I used...

I didn't follow it as intended and it didn't work as intended but I think it's a good resource to read.

This is a really good resource, glad to have seen your post about it. I've been working through the first three lessons this past fortnight (slow, I know). Thanks!

A fellow traveler on this path was on a podcast recently talking about P*rn addiction. There was a psychologist specialising in this field talking and they dispelled a lot of shame around it, made it a mundane thing: some people get addicted to this. As the iChing says: no blame. I know I can't...

I haven't been counting days, but it's coming up to a week away from P. I'm doing couch to 5k at the moment and was briefly imagining myself running a marathon (or half, or 10km) in a years time. And at the same time I thought to imagine myself if I had distance from P and unhealthy sexual...

Good to hear from you @Chris1986 I was writing a gratitude list just now and I wrote underneath: It's Never Too Late. I think I used to hope that, but now I believe it. We start when we start and when we stop we start again when we start again. It's a big life, a big world, just got to get out...

Hi @Chris1986. Thanks for asking. Where did all the months go? I was unsure whether to start a new journal or continue this one but I'll continue this one. Not much to say really. I started a new job in late January which is going well. I've been acting out here and there with not much...

I don't think you've ruined yourself forever. Apparently the brain has amazing self-healing properties, we just need to stop blasting it with super-normal stimulus.

Teşekkürler @darktime . Size şans diliyorum!

Thanks @Chris1986 for the support. I've lost my mental clarity about why I want to try living a different way. I think part of why I use P is I want to feel normal in my freakiness. But that feeling of fitting in evaporates when I O. It's like someone who says they are your friend but snubs you...

PMO Reset. Alas. Twice! That makes this day 2. Will start putting my day count at the bottom rather than the top because it's a little demoralising sometimes. My plan is to not give myself a hard time about this slip, but to definitely not let it turn into a long wallow in the mud.

Day 39 no P/Day 1 no MO Didn't really want to MO last night but I really didn't think the urge would pass so I took the lesser of two options.

Thanks @Chris1986, I think reflection is an important practice that I will aim to do more of. I was setting aside 15 minutes a day for a while there to just sit and think about how life is going. I think I need to trust my ability to make sense of life and course-correct. I often don't want to...

37/15 I'm unfocused at the moment. I think this is where I need to remind myself that this is a marathon not a sprint. I want everything to be easy. I'm scared of focusing on the wrong things so I spread myself thin. I'm entitled, like society/the world owes me success. I'm going to do some...

35/13 I woke up too early yesterday and was cranky and hard-headed all day. Got a bit more rest overnight. Plan to exercise this morning before I go get a covid booster. Some urges last night and considered MOing but chose not to.

Day 34 no P. Day 12 no MO. Triggered last night walking home late. Literally considered playing with myself as I walked home. Made some calls to people I know on the other side of the world from 12 step groups. Was helpful. I feel on the outer of those groups, I feel like a dissenting voice. A...