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Thanks Pdub and GBS! Happy new year to you as well! Unfortunately, at the time of your congratulations I had fucked up already. :( Slipped yesterday. After the MO on Monday it was dangerous, but I was quite sure, that I would worst case MO a second or a third time but stay clear of porn. Then...

DAY 30 (0 noMO)

DAY 28 (15 noMO)

Are you using porn blockers already? If not, I'd give it a try. (Qustodio for example. There are other possibilities as well, but I have not tried them.) They are no magic solution, and if you really want to, you will most likely be able to find a way around it. But it helped me a lot the last...

DAY 27 (14 noMO) Happy about 2 weeks of noMO. I think I am in a bit of a flatline at the moment. But I know from experience, this can change any day. So I'll stay alert. My general mood is not too good these days. I think it's in part because of the approaching new year. I was hoping to be much...

DAY 26 (13 noMO)

DAY 25 (12 noMO)

DAY 24 (11 noMO)

DAY 23 (10 noMO) Surprisingly I cried my eyes out over the ending of the book "Flowers for Algernon" yesterday evening. Surprisingly, because I saw everything that happened coming and did not expect it to affect me so much and because I don't think a book ever made me cry before. So yes, I'd...

Merry Christmas to you as well from the Europe mainland ;) And a speedy recovery for that last 10%!

DAY 22 (09 noMO) Another good day! felt a lot of energy in the afternoon. So it's time for a rest and some yoga Nidra now. Hoping for this positive trend to continue. Urges to indulge in fantasy have been very manageable the past few days. But with day 10 no MO tomorrow I expect them to...

Thanks Freerider and GBS! You're right, there has been a lot oaf change for the better already. But it's a long long way still to go! DAY 21 (08 noMO) Three weeks free of porn! Feels good as always. Even though the reboot up to now was not as "clean" as I want it to be, I am pretty sure it's...

DAY 20 (07 noMO) Was an ok day today. Started out not feeling well, but took a turn for the better. Got back to traditional meditation about a week ago. During LongCov recovery I changed it more to breathing exercises and Yoga Nidra. Which is great as well. But now, that I also added daily...

DAY 19 (06 noMO) I am having alternating bad and good days at the moment. Yesterday was tough, today was pretty good again. Almost too good. Felt so much energy in the first half of the day, that I just wanted to keep doing things. Had to restrain myself to keep my breaks and go slow to not...

DAY 18 (05 noMO)

DAY 17 (04 noMO) Felt a bit better physically today. Mentally a lot better. Went outside to sit in the sun for an hour or so. (That's the most I can do at the moment. 2h max outside the flat without too much walking.) Started to do intermitted fasting from yesterday on (no food before 08:00 and...

DAY 16 (03 noMO)

DAY 15 (02 noMO)

DAY 14 (01 noMO) Today was ok. Not a great day, but not too bad as well. I'm hanging in there doing as much as I can to improve the state of my body and my mind. The crash from almost a week ago is still affecting me. I am in a dark tunnel for over two years now. It's for sure and by a huge...

You are right, I knew perfectly well, that indulgence in MO does no good. But I guess I needed some one else to say it to make sure. :D In times, when I am in a better place and more positiv about my life and my future, it's easier to focus on the reward and accept the struggle. Right now, I...