Never to late
- Thread starter xc43
- Start date
dwenjang1218
Active Member
Hey xc43, I've been reading your journals for some time,
but I think you could elaborate more, even on days you succeed.
You know, talk about how you felt different about women,
how you interacted differently with women,
whether there were any triggers,
If so, the methods you used to overcome them,
if you had a good sleep,
what kind of positive/negative changes are taking place in your life,
or simply anything related to your personal life that might affect your reboot.
I mean it's fine to just keep count,
but if you open up a lil more, we could all help out more.
In fact, your journal would be a big help to newcomers.
They are always looking for people who had a similar situation/problem to them,
and crave to know how the authors overcame this problem.
But of course, it will take more time and effort to write journals like so,
so the choice is completely up to you,
and I'm fine with either way.
I just wanted to get to know you better
but I think you could elaborate more, even on days you succeed.
You know, talk about how you felt different about women,
how you interacted differently with women,
whether there were any triggers,
If so, the methods you used to overcome them,
if you had a good sleep,
what kind of positive/negative changes are taking place in your life,
or simply anything related to your personal life that might affect your reboot.
I mean it's fine to just keep count,
but if you open up a lil more, we could all help out more.
In fact, your journal would be a big help to newcomers.
They are always looking for people who had a similar situation/problem to them,
and crave to know how the authors overcame this problem.
But of course, it will take more time and effort to write journals like so,
so the choice is completely up to you,
and I'm fine with either way.
I just wanted to get to know you better
Okay VforVictory, I believe that what you are proposing is a good idea.
At one time I felt like every women was within my reach in the immediate. Those were the dark ages for me mentally even though now that I remember I used to use/do PMO less often. Hmm, physical circumstances were different also. Maybe thinking that women are willing to do the horizontal dance with you makes it easier to actually set aside PMO. Thing is, women are not on/off switches like we men are. So I did put aside that kinda objectifying way of thinking. I might revisit it in order to see whether thinking that way really leads to less PMO.
I realised I can control myself when I am fully conscious of what I am doing. Otherwise I am in routine mode and then I just play a pre-done series of actions. Which is when I do what I do not want to do. (It might be a human quirk to explore what you do not want though) One thing I do to help me change the way I seek my pleasure and joy toward a more virtuous one, is that I visualize myself doing something virtuous/better when I get urges. A good implementation intention (IF-THEN plan) of the goal no PMO would be:
IF I get urges for P, M or O THEN I ignore the urge and go read something for a minute.
I usually sleep well.
I hope it helped some of you guys. I'll try to make more sense in the future and write more.
Summary of today's no PMO challenge : Failure
P : Failure
M: Failure
O: Failure
It has been a long while since I passed 5 days without PMO, so my present goal is 5 days of no PMO.
Countdown: 5 days left
[Edit: Failed no PM]
[Edit2: Failled no O, added part 2 and new countdown, starting at 5]
Part 2:
I failed no PMO today. Why? Well because the circumstances were right and I forgot about my free-will. This was to be expected. Yesterday was a fine day until the end of the day when I failed no PMO challenge. Just before that I ate food that I was not supposed to eat. (I usually eat twice a day morning and midday and yesterday I ate a third time, at night) It was a bad end to an otherwise eventless day. It made me feel down. I woke up with lesser motivation and now I came back home from university even though I have a course later today. I usually stay at the university to study. Not today. I also go to Toastmasters on Wednesdays and I am thinking of not going. Exam coming and all. Or maybe it is I just want to relax and not go. Whatever.
There are many things I want more than P, M or O. Yet I forget about them when the moment of truth comes. I want to succeed in my studies, learn and understand. I have a part-time job and I want to make a positive impact there with my work ( I am a computer science student). I want to learn the guitar and learn to sing. I want to meditate.
I will not go to Toastmasters today. I will sleep. Maybe that will help for tomorrow. Maybe the 5 days countdown is more motivating than 90 days to the point where I will succeed. (I am usually able to make it to 4 days).
I think I might give too much importance to my environment in this whole thing. I know for certain that if I had no computer then I would not look at P. That said, maybe a cost of having a computer is looking at porn... Or is it not? Yet some people still use their computer without consuming this visual drug. So I know for a fact that it is possible to have a computer and not look at P.
Right now I have this idea in mind that if the conditions are right then I will look at porn. It seemed true. Now that I am writing about it, it seems false because I have free-will.hmm
I have written this much and had no urge, yet the physical conditions are similar to those in place I do use P. I had my fill? That's another idea in my mind. Yet now that I am writing about it, I will never have my fill. It is neverending. You simply have to get your fun elsewhere. I do not think that sex is a physical need so I'll get my fun in a chaste way.
Anyway those were my thoughts for today.
At one time I felt like every women was within my reach in the immediate. Those were the dark ages for me mentally even though now that I remember I used to use/do PMO less often. Hmm, physical circumstances were different also. Maybe thinking that women are willing to do the horizontal dance with you makes it easier to actually set aside PMO. Thing is, women are not on/off switches like we men are. So I did put aside that kinda objectifying way of thinking. I might revisit it in order to see whether thinking that way really leads to less PMO.
I realised I can control myself when I am fully conscious of what I am doing. Otherwise I am in routine mode and then I just play a pre-done series of actions. Which is when I do what I do not want to do. (It might be a human quirk to explore what you do not want though) One thing I do to help me change the way I seek my pleasure and joy toward a more virtuous one, is that I visualize myself doing something virtuous/better when I get urges. A good implementation intention (IF-THEN plan) of the goal no PMO would be:
IF I get urges for P, M or O THEN I ignore the urge and go read something for a minute.
I usually sleep well.
I hope it helped some of you guys. I'll try to make more sense in the future and write more.
Summary of today's no PMO challenge : Failure
P : Failure
M: Failure
O: Failure
It has been a long while since I passed 5 days without PMO, so my present goal is 5 days of no PMO.
Countdown: 5 days left
[Edit: Failed no PM]
[Edit2: Failled no O, added part 2 and new countdown, starting at 5]
Part 2:
I failed no PMO today. Why? Well because the circumstances were right and I forgot about my free-will. This was to be expected. Yesterday was a fine day until the end of the day when I failed no PMO challenge. Just before that I ate food that I was not supposed to eat. (I usually eat twice a day morning and midday and yesterday I ate a third time, at night) It was a bad end to an otherwise eventless day. It made me feel down. I woke up with lesser motivation and now I came back home from university even though I have a course later today. I usually stay at the university to study. Not today. I also go to Toastmasters on Wednesdays and I am thinking of not going. Exam coming and all. Or maybe it is I just want to relax and not go. Whatever.
There are many things I want more than P, M or O. Yet I forget about them when the moment of truth comes. I want to succeed in my studies, learn and understand. I have a part-time job and I want to make a positive impact there with my work ( I am a computer science student). I want to learn the guitar and learn to sing. I want to meditate.
I will not go to Toastmasters today. I will sleep. Maybe that will help for tomorrow. Maybe the 5 days countdown is more motivating than 90 days to the point where I will succeed. (I am usually able to make it to 4 days).
I think I might give too much importance to my environment in this whole thing. I know for certain that if I had no computer then I would not look at P. That said, maybe a cost of having a computer is looking at porn... Or is it not? Yet some people still use their computer without consuming this visual drug. So I know for a fact that it is possible to have a computer and not look at P.
Right now I have this idea in mind that if the conditions are right then I will look at porn. It seemed true. Now that I am writing about it, it seems false because I have free-will.hmm
I have written this much and had no urge, yet the physical conditions are similar to those in place I do use P. I had my fill? That's another idea in my mind. Yet now that I am writing about it, I will never have my fill. It is neverending. You simply have to get your fun elsewhere. I do not think that sex is a physical need so I'll get my fun in a chaste way.
Anyway those were my thoughts for today.
How I PMO:
Maybe it can help someone
When I do PMO, no one is watching my screen. They can be near or far as long as I am 100% sure that the deed (watching P or doing M) will go unnoticed. When PMO'ing I am in zombie mode. There is no thought just action. There is however a lingering feeling of agency: I see me doing PMO. I think I can exert my agency to do something and it almost always fail.
When I stop PMO from occuring or stop while doing it:
It happens when a trick comes into my knowledge. I think it will work then it does. That said, then I PMO again and leave the trick aside... Maybe because the trick did not work the second time or maybe because I did not use the trick and think I did...
Otherwise it happens when I change my circumstances. When PMO is physically or mentally impossible. When there is no slippery slope. (When there is one slope, I always fall, so far)
That's it for now.
Maybe it can help someone
When I do PMO, no one is watching my screen. They can be near or far as long as I am 100% sure that the deed (watching P or doing M) will go unnoticed. When PMO'ing I am in zombie mode. There is no thought just action. There is however a lingering feeling of agency: I see me doing PMO. I think I can exert my agency to do something and it almost always fail.
When I stop PMO from occuring or stop while doing it:
It happens when a trick comes into my knowledge. I think it will work then it does. That said, then I PMO again and leave the trick aside... Maybe because the trick did not work the second time or maybe because I did not use the trick and think I did...
Otherwise it happens when I change my circumstances. When PMO is physically or mentally impossible. When there is no slippery slope. (When there is one slope, I always fall, so far)
That's it for now.
dwenjang1218
Active Member
I have a much better understanding of what you are going through now.
I like how you set up a realistic goal of 5 days off PMO.
Start small, start slow, but really commit to it.
Cuz this challenge is one difficult mofo.
I can see that there's a real battle going on inside your brain right now.
You need a plan to wake yourself up during this "zombie mode".
Why not change your computer background to something motivational
or change the internet starter page to reboot nation?
Just throwing ideas around.
In regards to your eating habits,
it's like you are fighting two battles at once- stopping PMO and eating excessively.
Winning both battles in a day will feel awesome,
but when you fail one of the battles, the score is still 1:0- you still have the chance to draw the game to 1:1.
So instead of feeling stressed out when you lose one, you should get fired up to win the other one.
That's how I cope with no PMO, singing, and workout.
I hope it helps!
I like how you set up a realistic goal of 5 days off PMO.
Start small, start slow, but really commit to it.
Cuz this challenge is one difficult mofo.
I can see that there's a real battle going on inside your brain right now.
You need a plan to wake yourself up during this "zombie mode".
Why not change your computer background to something motivational
or change the internet starter page to reboot nation?
Just throwing ideas around.
In regards to your eating habits,
it's like you are fighting two battles at once- stopping PMO and eating excessively.
Winning both battles in a day will feel awesome,
but when you fail one of the battles, the score is still 1:0- you still have the chance to draw the game to 1:1.
So instead of feeling stressed out when you lose one, you should get fired up to win the other one.
That's how I cope with no PMO, singing, and workout.
I hope it helps!
It does help! I believe.
That said, I failed the challenge today. It is difficult to defend oneself against this illusion. Because it is an illusion. You, your brain is tricked into thinking that you are with a real woman. Then you act as if the illusion in your head was a real woman. There is no natural defense against this enemy. I guess the only option is to channel your consciousness elsewhere. Prior and proactively. I think that once you get the urges it is to late unless you cannot put it into action.
I think that PMO is not normal if we take every man that has lived and is living into account. It is not sane or virtuous...
...
I want to regain dominion over my brain and only do what I deem best for myself and principally for my future-self. Humans are emotional beings, so the stakes must be emotional... I have some money. All my savings... From that I PLEDGE to give 100$ to The Water Project if I fail once the PMO challenge within a 21 days period starting tomorrow.
I am using HabitForge as my accountability thing. (It works on the honor system).
Guys I may stop updating daily because I know I will keep far from the computer from now on to 21 days for sure. Losing 100$... No thank you even though the cause is good.
Summary of today's no PMO challenge : Failure
P : Failure
M: Failure
O: Failure
NEW COUNTDOWN
Countdown: 21 days left
That said, I failed the challenge today. It is difficult to defend oneself against this illusion. Because it is an illusion. You, your brain is tricked into thinking that you are with a real woman. Then you act as if the illusion in your head was a real woman. There is no natural defense against this enemy. I guess the only option is to channel your consciousness elsewhere. Prior and proactively. I think that once you get the urges it is to late unless you cannot put it into action.
I think that PMO is not normal if we take every man that has lived and is living into account. It is not sane or virtuous...
...
I want to regain dominion over my brain and only do what I deem best for myself and principally for my future-self. Humans are emotional beings, so the stakes must be emotional... I have some money. All my savings... From that I PLEDGE to give 100$ to The Water Project if I fail once the PMO challenge within a 21 days period starting tomorrow.
I am using HabitForge as my accountability thing. (It works on the honor system).
Guys I may stop updating daily because I know I will keep far from the computer from now on to 21 days for sure. Losing 100$... No thank you even though the cause is good.
Summary of today's no PMO challenge : Failure
P : Failure
M: Failure
O: Failure
NEW COUNTDOWN
Countdown: 21 days left
Summary of today's no PMO challenge : Success
P : Success
M: Success
O: Success
Countdown: 20 days left
Summary of the day so far:
It seems that having pledged 100$ really does work since I am a person with integrity and I really do intend to give it if I fail this 21 days No PMO challenge. The emotional stakes are there. I hate losing money. I do not gamble and I have never lost such a huge sum in all my life. I do not intend to lose during these 21 days (now 20 days left), 100$.
Why I am so sure it works? Right now the situation is perfect for me to fail the challenge. I am alone in front of my computer and no one is near. The usual circumstances. Plus many times when I play video games I end up PMO'ing. Not today. The usual situation for me PMO'ing arose many times today plus I played a game. Yet I did not look for tempting images (which is how I usual begin, no P, almost P, then P). Right now, I thought about failing the challenge and response was immediate. NO! I WILL NOT LOSE 100$. NEVER, EVER. I have little spasms when I think of PMO. Yet nothing directs to there. If this works for 21 days and that the month afterwards I do not PMO, then I will use this technique of pledging money if you fail to other areas of my life. No more video games, a better diet, working out thrice a week, learning the guitar, studying more, working more, speaking Japanese, asking girls their # at least 7 times a week, and whatnot.
Haha, I feel that I just found how to better handle my life. Money pledging. Hope this works forever and in every situation.
(Why 21 days countdown? Because it seems its the required number of days to form a new habit)
P : Success
M: Success
O: Success
Countdown: 20 days left
Summary of the day so far:
It seems that having pledged 100$ really does work since I am a person with integrity and I really do intend to give it if I fail this 21 days No PMO challenge. The emotional stakes are there. I hate losing money. I do not gamble and I have never lost such a huge sum in all my life. I do not intend to lose during these 21 days (now 20 days left), 100$.
Why I am so sure it works? Right now the situation is perfect for me to fail the challenge. I am alone in front of my computer and no one is near. The usual circumstances. Plus many times when I play video games I end up PMO'ing. Not today. The usual situation for me PMO'ing arose many times today plus I played a game. Yet I did not look for tempting images (which is how I usual begin, no P, almost P, then P). Right now, I thought about failing the challenge and response was immediate. NO! I WILL NOT LOSE 100$. NEVER, EVER. I have little spasms when I think of PMO. Yet nothing directs to there. If this works for 21 days and that the month afterwards I do not PMO, then I will use this technique of pledging money if you fail to other areas of my life. No more video games, a better diet, working out thrice a week, learning the guitar, studying more, working more, speaking Japanese, asking girls their # at least 7 times a week, and whatnot.
Haha, I feel that I just found how to better handle my life. Money pledging. Hope this works forever and in every situation.
(Why 21 days countdown? Because it seems its the required number of days to form a new habit)
dwenjang1218
Active Member
Right on man!
I like your attitude!
Don't let go of that 100$!!
and remember, like you said, P urges can start small, but if you decide to feed it, then it will only grow bigger.
If you find yourself at the entrance of the relapse cave, retreat immediately!
I like your attitude!
Don't let go of that 100$!!
and remember, like you said, P urges can start small, but if you decide to feed it, then it will only grow bigger.
If you find yourself at the entrance of the relapse cave, retreat immediately!
Summary of today's no PMO challenge : Success
P : Success
M: Success
O: Success
Countdown: 19 days left
Summary of the day so far:
It was harder today. I almost failed. After playing a game (I know not the best idea when you have exams the upcoming week), I went looking for tempting images. Nothing hardcore, I just went out looking on youtube and bing (filter set to moderate). I wanted to see girls and I did. Not naked nor scantily clad but still. I know I should have not done that. It was a waste of time and energy. Plus I do not want to get satisfied by looking at images or videos of dressed girls. I want to talk to real women and get to know them and let them know me. Hmmm... IF I feel like searching for dressed women THEN I slowly count to ten. (That seems like a good implementation intention to switch my attention to something else and regain "control")
Beside of that, things are great. Even though I played a game, I also studied for at least 2 hours today, which is not a lot but better than nothing.
The pledge helped me so far, I am sure of that.
Good luck with your No PMO challenge guys.
X
P : Success
M: Success
O: Success
Countdown: 19 days left
Summary of the day so far:
It was harder today. I almost failed. After playing a game (I know not the best idea when you have exams the upcoming week), I went looking for tempting images. Nothing hardcore, I just went out looking on youtube and bing (filter set to moderate). I wanted to see girls and I did. Not naked nor scantily clad but still. I know I should have not done that. It was a waste of time and energy. Plus I do not want to get satisfied by looking at images or videos of dressed girls. I want to talk to real women and get to know them and let them know me. Hmmm... IF I feel like searching for dressed women THEN I slowly count to ten. (That seems like a good implementation intention to switch my attention to something else and regain "control")
Beside of that, things are great. Even though I played a game, I also studied for at least 2 hours today, which is not a lot but better than nothing.
The pledge helped me so far, I am sure of that.
Good luck with your No PMO challenge guys.
X
shake19
Member
xc43 I am glad that you finally found your way to the reboot. It's funny that the money will help you to get your mind back - even though they say that you can't buy everything with money. Until your means and intentions are good there is nothing bad about betting your own life. I also had a deal with myself to give the money into some account whenever I drunk alcohol (I was trying to stay sober for some time) and it worked well. I also had some moments of searching for women in the Internet (fortunately didn't get into P) but the next time (I hope there won't be next time) I'll try your "10 seconds counting" method - it seems clever.
Good job my man and keep going!
Good job my man and keep going!
Thanks shake19
Summary of today's no PMO challenge : Success
P : Success
M: Success
O: Success
Countdown: 18 days left
Summary of the day so far:
No big deal. Woke up late then worked my ass off for an exam I have tomorrow. Spent most of my day in the university so I did not get the urges. I did look at women though. No big deal, it does not matter.
Wishing you guys the best,
X
Summary of today's no PMO challenge : Success
P : Success
M: Success
O: Success
Countdown: 18 days left
Summary of the day so far:
No big deal. Woke up late then worked my ass off for an exam I have tomorrow. Spent most of my day in the university so I did not get the urges. I did look at women though. No big deal, it does not matter.
Wishing you guys the best,
X
Summary of today's no PMO challenge : Success
P : Success
M: Success
O: Success
Countdown: 17 days left
Summary of the day so far:
Today was harder. I was circling around P after doing an exam. Almost wet my beak. Almost. Still kept myself on non-P websites but still. Too much free time guys. If there's anything else I'll edit this post... and give 100$ to The Water Project. Damn. Damn. UGh. If that was not there, I might have fallen already. I am glad for it and ugh. It is somewhat frustrating. Anyways. Time to do something else.
Wishing you guys the best,
X
P : Success
M: Success
O: Success
Countdown: 17 days left
Summary of the day so far:
Today was harder. I was circling around P after doing an exam. Almost wet my beak. Almost. Still kept myself on non-P websites but still. Too much free time guys. If there's anything else I'll edit this post... and give 100$ to The Water Project. Damn. Damn. UGh. If that was not there, I might have fallen already. I am glad for it and ugh. It is somewhat frustrating. Anyways. Time to do something else.
Wishing you guys the best,
X
dwenjang1218
Active Member
Keep it up my man!
Remember that your urges don't subside linearly.
It's gonna come in the form of waves,
so you should know that after each obstacle there is a moment of peace.
That moment of peace is waiting for you just around the corner.
Look forward to that peace to get you through just one more day.
Repeat this x 50 and the urges will eventually flatten!
Remember that your urges don't subside linearly.
It's gonna come in the form of waves,
so you should know that after each obstacle there is a moment of peace.
That moment of peace is waiting for you just around the corner.
Look forward to that peace to get you through just one more day.
Repeat this x 50 and the urges will eventually flatten!
Summary of today's no PMO challenge : Success
P : Success
M: Success
O: Success
Countdown: 16 days left
How was today:
You were right VforVictory, urges does seem to come as waves. Right now I am in the calm part of the wave so things are going smooth. Nevertheless I must not let my guard down because the tortuous part of the wave is coming. That said, there is not much new about today guys. Had an exam yesterday and have my last exam tomorrow. I studied some and after writing this I'll go study more.
Things were rough to get to here and now that I have this commitment tool, PMO is out of the question. I chose to expand the P part to include tempting images and so far it seems to work. My brain realizes that those tempting images cost 100$. Who in their right mind would pay that price?
X
P : Success
M: Success
O: Success
Countdown: 16 days left
How was today:
You were right VforVictory, urges does seem to come as waves. Right now I am in the calm part of the wave so things are going smooth. Nevertheless I must not let my guard down because the tortuous part of the wave is coming. That said, there is not much new about today guys. Had an exam yesterday and have my last exam tomorrow. I studied some and after writing this I'll go study more.
Things were rough to get to here and now that I have this commitment tool, PMO is out of the question. I chose to expand the P part to include tempting images and so far it seems to work. My brain realizes that those tempting images cost 100$. Who in their right mind would pay that price?
X
dwenjang1218
Active Member
Yeah if I were you I would avoid experimenting with P.
In my experience, the first 5 days are not the hard part.
It will probably get harder from here, so brace yourself mate.
In my experience, the first 5 days are not the hard part.
It will probably get harder from here, so brace yourself mate.