No fap: catalyst for life changes

[Captainamerica544]

Hi fellow fapstranauts! My name is Chris. I have been circulating the no fap boards without an account for about a year. My porn addiction started at a young age and fed into my toxic shame growing up. I was always a "good boy" and a perfectionist. Deep down, I get worthless and guilty over everything I would do. The porn addiction started with foot worship but got into femdom, humiliation, cuckold, and other extreme stuff. When it got to the point of shemale porn, I knew I had to do something. I started nofap and am proud to say my first streak was 165 days. I dealt with a lot of angst during this on and off and went through terrible flatlines. I did meditation, yoga, and regular gym visits. During this period, I had sex with two different girls.

This summer, I broke my streak because extreme depression and anxiety. I felt worse than when I had started. I began to feel better after a few days and began partaking in the 7 day cycle (masterbate every Sunday night). I thought this was for the best until I started reverting to my old habits and watching disgusting porn and navigating Femdom sites.

My current no fap streak is 32 days. I realize to fully recover, I must end this toxic shame and put myself out there. Honestly, as I type this I am beginning to feel a lot better. I know I have potential and talents that I can not let go to waste. This is a battle that I will win. The most important thing I hope to achieve is being comfortable in my own skin and learning how to be myself.

If anyone has any tips or pointers for my journey it would be greatly appreciated.

I will update this weekly.

Thank you for reading and thank you to all the no fappers who inspired me to join.

 

[GoodLife]

Hey Chris

I 100% agree when you say: 

I must end this toxic shame

I believe we can learn from other successful people. For whatever reason, many successful people learned to let go of the past and start living without the baggage.

  ?Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?? ? Leo Buscaglia

?When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.? ? Alexander Graham Bell

I was so pissed off when I had my relapse, but today I stopping judging why it happened. I believe my past is there, to learn, accept & move on to success. Today, I have victory over lust and porn.