New here; Badly need advice

[NeedToKickIt]

Oh my god where to start really, probably not at the beginning but the most recent events that have actually led me to this site, thankfully. A couple of nights ago I hooked up with a much younger woman that I'd been in touch with via a casual sex/hookup site (think Tinder but a website so more complex and interesting). We had dinner and drinks etc and a hotel room was already booked and we both knew that we'd fuck if we actually got on ok face to face. So the inevitable happened and we had amazing sex, she came quickly and she was deep throating me to get me to come before moving on to anal etc etc. But the bottom line is despite her best efforts, and despite me loving the sex I just could not orgasm.

Now I suspected I might have some isues on the night, so I'd abstained from masturbation (though not porn) for a few days beforehand and I'd popped a Viagra before getting to the hotel, and I could feel the hot flushes in my legs and face so I think that worked. Unfortunately I'd had a couple of beers and a Bacardi in the bar so I'm sure that didn't help. Anyway, I had no problem getting hard, even before she had my pants off but the erection wasn't rock hard like it should have been and like I said, I couldn't come.

I've been jerking to porn in printed or internet form now for 30 years, for the past 15 almost exclusively - averaged out I've probably only had sex once a year over that 15 year period and the past 5 years I've not been intimate with a woman at all  Until the other night!

I think my "mild" ED (I hope it's only that), and my definate inability to come which I even had 7-5 years ago when having sex with my now ex girlfriend, is down to my porn addiction. Now I want to sort myself, or at least my dick, out and not have to worry about whether or not I'm going to get hard and/or come with a woman.

My issue now is how do I get best short term results? I'll even settle for a job half done as I'm due to hook up again with my sex buddy again in less than two weeks and I don't want to let her down a second time. It's been a week now since I last orgasmed and 0 days since I last saw an erotice photo (as I said I hooked up with her via an erotic site soo...)  and what really worries me is flatlining during that time when I'm due to meet. At least last time I made her come, if my dick is dead I know I won't get to see her again.

Should I just get some stronger Viagra, not watch porn and not jerk off for until our date and hope I'm not flatlining then? I don't think I can avoid the subsitutions...I'll be photographing another woman from the same site so even though she's a real person I'll still need to process those images and even beforehand look at others for inspiration.

Thanks for reading, it's not easy to type, nor read I expect. Advice, experiences shared will be much appreciated.

 

[nyloin]

First, get a porn blocker. Have a friend/family member, someone you can really trust to tell them about your problem, download k9/porn blocker. Have them create a password that you don't know. Personally, I use covenant eyes. Make sure you delete social media apps like Instagram or Facebook, because you can cheat yourself when you are tempted to relapse or sexually gratify yourself. If you really wants to use social media, use it online once you have installed a porn blocker.

My last piece of advice is fill your void by doing stuff like sozializing or whatever you're passionate about. Get educated about your problem, so you understand and you don't freak out over your sexual dysfunction.

- YOU CAN DO THIS!

Hope this helped

 

[jfaudetroy]

I suggest you go on youtube and watch videos of gabe deem. Rebootnation on youtube. You will find answers. Peace brotha, I had an ED for over 6 years and I tought I was not curable but now I have good erection with girls so keep your head up!

 

[NeedToKickIt]

Thanks for the advice. Im doing alright without any blockers etc, and i dont feel the need to block all images of atrractive ladies or anything. That said I've stayed off porn sites for a few days now and haven't masturbated / orgasmed in 8 days.

What I'm not able, nor willing really is to stop thinking about the amazing sex the other night. Is that actually a requirement because after all she's a very real person and that's all good right? Unfortunately I didn't get hard thinking about it, but I didn't feel the urge to play with myself either.

I'm also getting back on my thyroid medication which could be messing around with my libido and even causing a loss of interest in porn, I'm just hoping my hormones even themselves out very soon so I can gauge where I'm at.

 

[jimthejones]

you need to completely kickit to do a full job and as it has been said that will require a lot of time studying, watching videos and doing a pratical and personal trial and error..thats what you need to do.

However it sounds like this is not what you want to do.. so u can try taking your own advise on waiting until date night..it might not work even with viagra , the problem is most probably in the brain not the body

final thought : a lot of us in here eventually come to terms with our addiction and realise that it is close to impossible to have a full life with porn in the mix.

i hope that this helps and i also wish that u can start texting more of  ur experiences 

 

[daguilara]

I also need short term results.

It sucks to take this stuff seriously, just after having this kind of experience

 

[jimthejones]

True it sucks a lot...but when im sober i can breath. so at times it feels great to endure the pain for that fresh breath... but sometimes it jus sucks

 

[pearland71]

I don't believe there is a "short" term anything revolving around PIED, nor is it linear. Just time is the only cure. Head up!

 

[NeedToKickIt]

Well I'm 8 days since I PMO'd and don't miss it, and last night I had two boners, well just one thank god, but twice so I think the thyroid stuff may also be kicking in. Definately have that checked as there could be a hormone imbalance also causing issues, if I think back I can remeber sometimes when I was messing around with my medication and having some real flatlines where I couldn't even PMO for what could have been weeks.


I've got my date fixed for Saturday so looking forward to that big time, just need to switch off, forget any ED & DE worries and have a good time. Easier said than done, I'm the first guy she's not made come, so a massive dose pf PA might hit me if I'm not careful. Anyone got any tips to help mitigate the worry?

 

[pearland71]

I'd suggest a bourbon and coke......for me, it takes the edge off the PA. Don't allow your mind to worry yourself into a shitty night. I think about baseball when I fear I'm going to fail or if my dick is going to work.

 

[NeedToKickIt]

Alc has a bit of a negative effect on me when I want to get hard, a couple of beers and I struggle. Not that it really matters, I messed the day of my date up by a week...........

............so while I feel I've made massive progress

- no PMO in almost 2 weeks
- woody every night, now well hard
- can get hard on touch only (not showering or anything just when I'm horny)

........I'm also wondering how the hell I'm going to go another 10 days without an orgasm and a bit worried I'm going to relapse and PMO, just because I think I'll come better if I'm watching porn.

Is it safe to masturbate to touch only see how it goes, I really don't want to PMO but my nuts are at breaking point lol

 

[jfaudetroy]

I understand how you feel bro. I would suggest for you to not masturbate even if you feel like your going to explode. It's better for your reboot if you stay away fron releasing yourself. It's not dangerous. Your body will naturally release your sperm. I did 276 days without masturbation and only after 100 days I had my first release while I was dreaming. It will become an habit if you keep your self on the track!