[email protected] my story so far

Hi all,

I'm currently 13 days with no porn or masturbation...

I'm 34 years old but I think I have suffered with P I E D since I was about 21.

I successfully lost my virginity to a girlfriend when I was around 18, then my porn use was minimal and was only subjected to it with the ten minute preview on television X at 12am and the odd dvd borrowed from friends from work.

Then we got high speed internet and porn became a bigger part of my life...

I first noticed my PIED the first time I tried to sleep with my now soon to be ex wife, I put it down to nerves or anxiety at the situation. Luckily she was understanding and we just did other things.

We connected emotionally and went on to get engaged then married and have a daughter. The whole time I was using porn on my laptop or phone to get off on my own without my wife knowing. We had a crap sex life as my libido was so up and down, I could never use a condom as my erections would disappear. I would make excuses as to why i didn't want to have sex tired etc as I didn't want the embarrassment of not being able to perform half the time. I was asked to go to the doctors no end of times but my male ego and pig headedness got in the way. And of course in my my own head I didn't have a problem as I could get hard when watching porn!!! All the time I never admitted to her I used it.

We separated this year after about a year of sleeping in separate beds. We have both moved on with new partners. I half heartedly believed my lack of erection was due to me being no longer interested in my wife but that was not true. I got a new girlfriend and when we got down to it...Exactly the same no erection even though I wanted to have sex. I tried viagra this had a little effect but not much we have had awkward sex once! I have cum a few times when she gives me a bj and we do other stuff to each other. My problem is not really talked about but we do other stuff to each other to get off.

I then came across an article in the newspaper about P IE D and it all clicked into place. I last watched porn Sunday 23rd October 2016 and haven't masturbated either so far. I've had the odd erection in bed without even thinking about sex which I'm hoping is a good sign and I havent had any massive urges to go back to using porn, just got to not fall back. I'm hoping/praying that my abstinence from porn will result in a better sex life for me and my girlfriend and I am so determined not to fall back into the old habit. Hopefully this site and Noah Churchs' will help me stay true to myself and back on track.

Thank you for reading my story so far

 

KittyHawk

Active Member
Welcome,

stay strong and if you ever relapse, don't beat yourself much. Just keep trying and avoid all known triggers (alone time on PC etc).
I keep quitting and relapsing for cca 1 year now. From what I read from others online....if you manage to avoid porn for couple of months, it will have tremendous positive impact on your real sex life.

Actually I have small proof myself....the only period I was able to have at least some successful penetration with my wife (although my erection wasn't perfect) was when we were moving to new country, I spend a lot of time in a new job and overall I had a lot responsibilities back then. I should have been exhausted but weird thing happened...I was able to perform (to some extent). Today I am convinced that was because my alone time with porn was seriously limited due to time constrains.

Porn is a disease.... I used to love it, now I hate it.
I keep repeating myself: You can choose substitute or the real thing. What do you want? I want the real thing!
 
Thanks for your message! I've now done two weeks and staying positive and keeping busy. A few times I've been on my own and I just went straight to this forum and it kept me occupied and busy. Stay strong. F U Porn!!
 
I'm still going strong and haven't pmo'd.

I have week alone with my girlfriend coming up and I'm looking forward to see how I react to physicality. I've had some morning wood and some random hard ons. I'm not going to be down if it doesn't go as hoped because I've seen some other benefits of no porn. Increased confidence and self esteem especially.

As soon as I contemplate porn I just think of the shame and uselessness I used to feel when I couldn't get it up for a willing partner.

I'm not far off a month now the longest I've ever done through self induced bans.

F U Porn!
 
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