InTheWeeds
Member
Gabe
I'm writing this to you to tell you of my story. I am 54 years old. I have been a porn addict for over 20 years. It's been painful admitting that I have this problem. The problem has been especially difficult since high-speed Internet. At first, my porn use was what I would consider mild. The occasional video or picture but nothing deviant or hard-core. Suddenly about three years ago I found myself looking at tube sites. This was the beginning of the end. I started with heterosexual pornography but quickly found that that wasn't exciting enough. I begin viewing more and more hardcore, deviant, vicious pornography. A couple of years ago I begin to notice a difficulty in having sex with my wife. I would get an erection but it would quickly grow soft after penetration. This became more and more regular. My wife blamed herself. She thought I no longer found her attractive or exciting. I can see the hurt in her eyes. I didn't think it was the pornography doing this. I thought it was a midlife crisis. Just something that would pass if only I could find something exciting, something fun. That didn't happen. It got worse. The pornography got worse. I began to try and find more and more exciting ad different pornography so I can fantasize it during sex and satisfy both me and my wife. I found myself depressed, completely numb to life. Nothing made me happy. My wife noticed this change in me. We've been married for 32 years. We really don't have to say anything to know how the other feels. I've hurt her so bad. I would come home from work and immediately run to the restroom. So I can take a few minutes and watch a little porn. This numbed me. I actually got to the point where pornography would not even give me an erection. I can watch the most hard-core deviant porn and not even get hard. Erections with my wife would last a few minutes and if I couldn't come in those few minutes then it didn't work at all. At my lowest point I would sit in the living room with my family and as they watch TV, I would look at porn on my iPad. How absolutely messed up is that? So I'm at the point now where my penis is numb, my feelings are numb, my whole attitude is numb. No morning wood, no erections, minimum libido. That was 17 days ago. I still can't explain it, but out of the blue, I stumbled across the website YBOP. I saw your videos. Oh my god, everything you said, every symptom you identified, every emotion you identified, I have or have experienced. I saw myself in every video, in every discussion. I can?t explain how I found the website. It just happen one day. Maybe it was God. All I know is on that day I decided I would never look at pornography again. Since that day I have watched your videos over and over again. I have gain strength, encouragement, and the knowledge that I can be cured. I have to tell you, and I believe this with my heart, you and all the other men who suffer from this will save my life. So here I am at 17 days completely porn free. It's been hard, very hard. I cry at the slightest emotional scene. But I'm encouraged by the thought that I can make it. All I ask is that you do not quit. You are saving my life.
I'm writing this to you to tell you of my story. I am 54 years old. I have been a porn addict for over 20 years. It's been painful admitting that I have this problem. The problem has been especially difficult since high-speed Internet. At first, my porn use was what I would consider mild. The occasional video or picture but nothing deviant or hard-core. Suddenly about three years ago I found myself looking at tube sites. This was the beginning of the end. I started with heterosexual pornography but quickly found that that wasn't exciting enough. I begin viewing more and more hardcore, deviant, vicious pornography. A couple of years ago I begin to notice a difficulty in having sex with my wife. I would get an erection but it would quickly grow soft after penetration. This became more and more regular. My wife blamed herself. She thought I no longer found her attractive or exciting. I can see the hurt in her eyes. I didn't think it was the pornography doing this. I thought it was a midlife crisis. Just something that would pass if only I could find something exciting, something fun. That didn't happen. It got worse. The pornography got worse. I began to try and find more and more exciting ad different pornography so I can fantasize it during sex and satisfy both me and my wife. I found myself depressed, completely numb to life. Nothing made me happy. My wife noticed this change in me. We've been married for 32 years. We really don't have to say anything to know how the other feels. I've hurt her so bad. I would come home from work and immediately run to the restroom. So I can take a few minutes and watch a little porn. This numbed me. I actually got to the point where pornography would not even give me an erection. I can watch the most hard-core deviant porn and not even get hard. Erections with my wife would last a few minutes and if I couldn't come in those few minutes then it didn't work at all. At my lowest point I would sit in the living room with my family and as they watch TV, I would look at porn on my iPad. How absolutely messed up is that? So I'm at the point now where my penis is numb, my feelings are numb, my whole attitude is numb. No morning wood, no erections, minimum libido. That was 17 days ago. I still can't explain it, but out of the blue, I stumbled across the website YBOP. I saw your videos. Oh my god, everything you said, every symptom you identified, every emotion you identified, I have or have experienced. I saw myself in every video, in every discussion. I can?t explain how I found the website. It just happen one day. Maybe it was God. All I know is on that day I decided I would never look at pornography again. Since that day I have watched your videos over and over again. I have gain strength, encouragement, and the knowledge that I can be cured. I have to tell you, and I believe this with my heart, you and all the other men who suffer from this will save my life. So here I am at 17 days completely porn free. It's been hard, very hard. I cry at the slightest emotional scene. But I'm encouraged by the thought that I can make it. All I ask is that you do not quit. You are saving my life.