"Self-Mastery"- A Journal

[Freethinker]

Viper: True, porn and PMO is just an unsavory thing to talk about, even anonymously.

FC: Had a very busy day yesterday. Things are going okay I suppose. Thanks for the support.

 

[Freethinker]

Stressful week. Feeling the pull.... Very hard to come here and talk things through. Just don't have the energy to write. I envy those of you who have been sounding happy in your journals. I'm trying to read when I can.

 

[fcjl8]

Get away from any possible pixels! Snap out of it sir!

 

[LTE]

Agreed. No matter how many times you try, you will never find satisfaction with pixels.

 

[Freethinker]

fcj, LTE,

You guys are right, of course. I'm reminded of John Doe's personal text, "no amount of pixels will ever love you back". Thanks for the support.

I've been down lately. No real intimacy with my wife. We're both too busy with "life" to really connect. I've really lost my ability to approach her in a desirous way. I think we both feel neglected but we're the ones doing it to each other. F**king sucks.

We're going to Europe soon. I hope we can "reconnect" there and not just go through the motions of supposedly "quality time" together.

 

[a short guy]

fcj, LTE,

You guys are right, of course. I'm reminded of John Doe's personal text, "no amount of pixels will ever love you back". Thanks for the support.

I've been down lately. No real intimacy with my wife. We're both too busy with "life" to really connect. I've really lost my ability to approach her in a desirous way. I think we both feel neglected but we're the ones doing it to each other. F**king sucks.

We're going to Europe soon. I hope we can "reconnect" there and not just go through the motions of supposedly "quality time" together.

A trip to Europe sounds like a good, fun time to work on connecting and making intimacy a priority. My wife and I tend to let life's busyness get in the way of intimacy, it's such a bad habit now that I must change.

 

[fcjl8]

I really think those of us in relationships have to make the Romance a top priority. Our physical intimacy can really be such a great benefit as we recover from PMO addiction.

Embrace your wife. Hold her hand... often. Love is a wonderful medicine!

 

[WiP]

fcj, LTE,

You guys are right, of course. I'm reminded of John Doe's personal text, "no amount of pixels will ever love you back". Thanks for the support.

I've been down lately. No real intimacy with my wife. We're both too busy with "life" to really connect. I've really lost my ability to approach her in a desirous way. I think we both feel neglected but we're the ones doing it to each other. F**king sucks.

We're going to Europe soon. I hope we can "reconnect" there and not just go through the motions of supposedly "quality time" together.

A trip to Europe sounds like a good, fun time to work on connecting and making intimacy a priority. My wife and I tend to let life's busyness get in the way of intimacy, it's such a bad habit now that I must change.

I long for the "reconnect" and intimacy and that my wife and I once shared.  It must be a top priority in my new life.  We wasted so very much time in front of that screen not living life but letting it just pass us right by.  Life is to damn short and too difficult.  We lived alone together for more years than not.  I don't ever want to go back there.  Stay strong and make the time.  You my friend are not getting any younger.

 

[Freethinker]

a short guy, FC, WIP

Thanks for checking in. I agree with the comments. Yes, the busyness of life is not good for nurturing relationships at times. We need to give those we love a greater measure of ourselves in this increasingly hostile world where it's so easy to fall into narcissism and selfishness. I do a lot for my wife but tend to hold back on sharing my emotional life.

We are always affectionate and do a lot for each other. But, we haven't made love in quite some time. This troubles me and I'm becoming more anxious about it. I don't know if depression has possibly led to "Low T" or vice-versa.  I guess I need to get some blood tests done for an answer to the T. I am extremely leery about meds for depression. I'm going to have to try some other tactics to pull myself out of it. I'm getting a CPAP tomorrow so I hope I'll start sleeping better ( I have sleep apnea)

 

[Freethinker]

I was reading in someone's journal some comments made by LTE about what we can control in our lives. That's a big point for me: feeling in control and the growing confidence that comes from exercising that control. Thanks, LTE, for stating such an important philosophy so elegantly.

For some of us, this is a challenge greater than we anticipated. I'm approaching 30 days of no PMO (*disclaimer* I have MO'd twice in the last 27 days). I really don't want to join the "it's okay to MO" camp. I want to exert self control over any form of pleasuring myself sexually. This is difficult to do, but I'm determined to avoid this type of "escapism" from the many aforementioned stresses that I've been dealing with.

 

[midge]

I was reading in someone's journal some comments made by LTE about what we can control in our lives. That's a big point for me: feeling in control and the growing confidence that comes from exercising that control. Thanks, LTE, for stating such an important philosophy so elegantly.

For some of us, this is a challenge greater than we anticipated. I'm approaching 30 days of no PMO (*disclaimer* I have MO'd twice in the last 27 days). I really don't want to join the "it's okay to MO" camp. I want to exert self control over any form of pleasuring myself sexually. This is difficult to do, but I'm determined to avoid this type of "escapism" from the many aforementioned stresses that I've been dealing with.

FT, stopping the MO was a great challenge for me. PMO was tough to leave behind, but not as tough as MO, which I hung on to for a long time after I'd dropped PMO. You're getting there, though--only twice in 27 days..you're well on your way. Mine was mostly (I think) related to the chaser effect after relations with my wife. There was no magic bullet for solving it, but I think I just got better at managing the chaser effect--or that effect eventually lost some of its power.  You're doing great. Just keep working at it, and it'll resolve.

 

[LetItGoAlready]

I was reading in someone's journal some comments made by LTE about what we can control in our lives. That's a big point for me: feeling in control and the growing confidence that comes from exercising that control. Thanks, LTE, for stating such an important philosophy so elegantly.

For some of us, this is a challenge greater than we anticipated. I'm approaching 30 days of no PMO (*disclaimer* I have MO'd twice in the last 27 days). I really don't want to join the "it's okay to MO" camp. I want to exert self control over any form of pleasuring myself sexually. This is difficult to do, but I'm determined to avoid this type of "escapism" from the many aforementioned stresses that I've been dealing with.

I applaud your efforts to avoid MO, FT. I do think MO has a way of contaminating the process, as it can be another way of acting out sexually....at least it was for me, anyway. Two times in 27 days is commendable. Make that your new baseline and keep at it, friend.

 

[fcjl8]

Dear FT, I think you will see some bigger changes by going MO free. I tried a few years ago just to quit porn but still M a bit, it never worked. The M always had an element of fantasy and as you said escapism. I believe the only way is to deal with both.

Interested to read how you find this change in your life. Wishing you all the best!

 

[Freethinker]

Thanks for the feedback guys. No MO will be tough but I think that's the course I need to take, whether physical relations pick up with my wife or not. she's got health problems and very "low T" and is just never in the mood. Lately, I'm not much better, so we simply have a sexless marriage. I know that will start to change soon so I'm not complaining. I don't want to play the blame game. we both need to make greater efforts. Lately, life just has us both worn out.

I've been too busy the last couple of days as I hit the 30 day mark to stop and notice. Oh well, I've been here before so I won't get too excited about it. I'm on my 3rd CPAP mask in a week. This CPAP stuff sucks. I know I'm taking a chance on developing health issues if I don't embrace this therapy. The jury will be out for a while on this. I'm really pretty healthy for my age (53), but they said CPAP can develop with anyone, even children. F**king sucks!

 

[LTE]

Thanks for the feedback guys. No MO will be tough but I think that's the course I need to take, whether physical relations pick up with my wife or not. she's got health problems and very "low T" and is just never in the mood. Lately, I'm not much better, so we simply have a sexless marriage. I know that will start to change soon so I'm not complaining. I don't want to play the blame game. we both need to make greater efforts. Lately, life just has us both worn out.

I've been too busy the last couple of days as I hit the 30 day mark to stop and notice. Oh well, I've been here before so I won't get too excited about it. I'm on my 3rd CPAP mask in a week. This CPAP stuff sucks. I know I'm taking a chance on developing health issues if I don't embrace this therapy. The jury will be out for a while on this. I'm really pretty healthy for my age (53), but they said CPAP can develop with anyone, even children. F**king sucks!

It really is the easier course. Once you have gained enough confidence in yourself you can go without sex for a very long time and not really have any problems. The emotional connection is really the most important thing.