As I get further away from dependency on P, I'm coming to question my poor attention span. I assumed that my inability to focus, on work especially, stemmed from my brain being conditioned to prioritise P or fantasy, but I'm no longer so sure. I think like many chronic P addicts, when I was using a lot, I rarely focused on one thing for long. I'd click from photo to photo, and rarely reach the end of a 3-minute video before I'd can it, and start the next. Fantasy was probably the only thing I could hold in focus for any duration. I've only used P once in the last 11 months, back in August, but when I'm at a desk, in front of my laptop, I find it almost impossible to focus on a task mindfully. I can get into a mindful flow when I'm playing sport, at the gym, walking or even gardening. Maybe I need to be physically engaged in order to quieten my mind? Maybe it's a hangover of the association my memory has with computers? Like "WTF are you doing, man? You're at your laptop.... start clicking stuff". Or maybe I was never good at concentrating, which made it pretty easy for me to get hooked on the moving feast of online P? As I'm typing this, I'm more convinced of the link between using the laptop and inability to focus. That should help me find a solution.