Easing of the Covid lockdown here is really positive. Life in the UK has been grim for most of the last year. I've been surprised by the force of some triggers I've felt in returning to a semblance of normality. I'm struggling (and largely failing) not to objectify women at the gym this week. Is it just natural to be aroused, after a year spent mostly in isolation? The resulting P triggers are a stone in my shoe that I could do without, though. I'll wear a baseball cap tonight, which may sound like a piss-poor avoidance plan, but I find it limits my peripheral vision and stops me "scanning". Has been helpful in the past. I'm also going with my daughter, which should remind me more than anything that women don't wear what they wear to attract the eyes of pervy old guys. They're just doing their own thing and it has nothing to do with me. "First look's on God". Anything more is asking for trouble. Friends coming to visit in a couple of weeks, which will be the first time we've had people stay for over a year. Best friend has spent most of the last year in CB Therapy for attachment issues. She knows my past P & S addiction story in some detail and has already put me on notice that she thinks I need to get a lot deeper into understanding the underlying causes or my anxieties and behaviours. I can totally do without the investigative zeal of the freshly recovered addict, digging over old ground, so that's something I need to manage carefully, because it's making me dwell too much on the past and surfacing some stuff I really want to stay in a cold grave. I find nowadays that my recovery is best served by proactively planning forward, rather than letting stuff ambush me. Not for the first time, I wonder why I can't just put all this shit behind me. Best laid plans of mice & men :-[ That said, I'm clean today and I'm aware of my challenges and limitations. Need to be proactive and take control. That's it.