All the things you are doing are good D&O, I tried internet dating and that helped me a lot with feeling more comfortable about the idea of trying to engage romantically with members of the opposite sex, but it was also quite stressful for my mental health
I think I'd like to try speed dating at some point too, but the point is that there's a lot of rewiring that needs to be done in order to move into the zone of healthy successful sexual relationships. For the last six to nine months or so I've basically had the attitude that time will heal, as it does all things, but I think you need to be proactive too. Self-analysis can be a trap, because you're not getting any outside stimulus to move you out of the circles (or spirals) of your thinking. Having dated a woman for four months without even so much as kissing, I know that I am much more confident around the idea of discussing sexual relationships, we've discussed a lot why we don't seem to be getting anywhere, and I've been able to make more suggestive texts without fear, though still with a lot of apprehension about how to follow through. She says I'm much more cool than when she first met me as a friend some twenty years ago, and that I take her to nice places, and am much more confident in myself, which is all positive. She does desire me. However the lack of sexual chemistry has been a problem. I've realised that I need something more than just time and going round in the same circles with her. So one of things I've decided to do is buy some books to read up on, on intimacy, and also sexual pleasure from a spiritual perspective. In Hinduism, pleasure is called kama, as in the kama sutra, so I've also bought some books on kama, and in ancient Greek, sexual love is called eros, so I've also bought some books on this. I also think I want to read some romance novels to get a perspective on how women see sexual pleasure and maybe some books on dating. That's a lot of reading, and I don't think it will necessarily be a magic wand, but getting outside stimulus into your psyche, is definitely a good way of getting out of the pit. We'll see how it goes. I'm glad your still hanging in there. Good luck with everything. Thank you.