37 - Virgin - Depressed - PIED? PLEASE HELP ME!


Sorry to hear about that DepressedAndOut. You did muster the courage to make a pass, and that's commendable, but to be fair, it was also inappropriate, especially touching someone just like that. I'm no flirting expert by a long shot, but unless there are "signs" (she either looks at you with intent, or is curious about you, etc.), then you really have no indication that they're interested in you, and so you should proceed (if you still want to) with the absolute minimum: only verbally, tell them you find them attractive and you want to ask them out. If they refuse, then you've given your emotions a fair shot and you can put it behind you. I also think the circumstances make it extra hard: she's at her place of work, not at a club, so she's not looking to flirt. Thanks for telling us about this--it was no doubt difficult the first time and then have to recount it in words must've made it more despairing.

The times are especially hard now for meeting people and doing group activities, which is what I would normally recommend if you'd want to potentially meet somebody, so alleviate the loneliness with social contact with friends and family, or join live discussions groups online about stuff (book club? physics club? chess club?).

I hope you'll get better days soon. The bad days will come but they will also go, and on good days try to use the energy to set new patterns and practical changes. I wish you the best!


Active Member
I really desperately need someone to touch and talk to it - something that has been missing all my adult life.
Hi, DepressedAndOut.

I know what you mean. I am dealing with this stuff myself. Like I have never kissed a girl. But it doesn't bother me the way it used to bother me.

Last week I felt like calling up a classmate from high school. We were buddies in HS. He accepted. He mentioned over coffee that he is seeing a psychiatrist. He is also taking some antidepressants. Says it is helping him a lot both the therapy and the pills.

For me what is helping a great deal is looking at my beliefs and perceptions. Together with my needs and finding ways to live while my needs are not met. Mindfulness stuff. I observe loneliness, give it space, accept it, then it goes away. I am also self studying some psychology. I found this PhD dissertation interesting as it talks about beliefs. I am fascinated with beliefs as I feel like our beliefs create our reality to a large extent. Just started reading it. https://duepublico2.uni-due.de/receive/duepublico_mods_00070589

Much love