May have overreacted earlier. Time will tell, but I don't think it was as severe an occurrence as I thought.
@SimonM Yeah man funny you say that because I decided that I'm going to get back into meditation again. Good suggestion. The more frontal lobe strength the better.Can you control your actions in your lucid dream? Maybe with conscious work during the daytime you can be ready to steer yourself in a different direction next time you have a lucid dream? Toward another activity you love? Flying away? (I always love flying in lucid dreams)
I'm 38.5 months without porn, masturbation, and orgasm due to those two things. The other stuff is irrelevant to me. Good luck sir.I have bad brain fog and can't read through it all. It just does not work. It hurts when I read your texts. Thinking hurts xD
I have some questions that I will ask very easily and understandably.
1. When was the last time you watched porn ?
2. When was the last time you masturbated ?
3. When was the last time you had sex ?
4. When was the last time you had a conscious, intentional ejaculation?
5. At what month are you now ?
6. Do you drink alcohol?
7. Do you take drugs?
8. Do you take medication?
I am at month 37 and have published a new post in the New Year.
Thanks and greetings
I feel your pain man, your not alone.After the morning things got hairy. Today has been the rough shit I've been preparing myself for. Knew it was coming.
I need to remind myself how far I've come. 3 years ago I was a husk.
Ready for all of this shit to be over with, but I always feel like this when times are at their roughest. I mean, I'm always wanting PAWs to end, but I really get sort of angry about it not being over when I'm getting assfucked by symptoms.
I deeply, deeply damaged by brain and body. I don't blame myself, but I am not entirely innocent either. It is what it is. As the monk in the video said, I need to welcome the pain and see it as a tool. I'll be able to look back nd know that I made it through some really tough obstacles.
This addiction saga is what has happened, and at this point the trajectory of my life could not have gone any other way. Porn addiction is not a glamorous affliction, but it's a modern one. Grist for the writing mill.
Sadly, when things are most painful is when I feel the most lonely. The addiction is cunning: it knows what buttons to push. "Let's isolate this dude until he breaks. Let's starve him of happiness and bring on every negative emotion in his arsenal. Let's cause him headaches and constipation and fuck with his thoughts. Let's completely warp his worldview." Those words are what withdrawals, essentially, are to me.
My spirit still isn't broken. Let's hope that I don't dip back into the devil's den. I'm worried that I will, so we'll see. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
Thanks bro, unfortunately I went down hill. I have been struggling with my anxiety and had a panic attack when I was with my ex gf or gf. I went with to the ER and yesterday I started Wellbutrin. The depression flatline has been hell. Idk how you manage to go so long.Hope things start looking up man.