My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation

What the hell! I almost relapsed! I dont even know how, but i came over a forum for thai massages with happyending and they talked about their experiences and that got me aroused as fuck!(not my little friend tho) then i closed it and started playing with my little friend and then things got crazy real quick. I didnt have a full erection in a few days and i wanted tthat feeling back so i got him hard and i was really like 10 sec away from an Orgasm. It wasn't really edgig or moving a lot, just pinning the foreskin down to my body. Then i took a cold shower, but holy shit that was close... And I had to shower quite long to get him relaxed again.... FUCK man I wouldve hated me so hard... my cravings are getting worse.... I dont know, I hope i will do this 90 days hardmode, but its getting harder and harder as the time goes on
 
Wow now i cant sleep because im completely erected and cant think of anything else... My cravinngs and urges are getting worse and worse, i cant help it... If they dont stop soon, i Cant resist them for days
 
Soo i fought the urges for 1 hour before i could sleep. Again reaaally close to relapse... Fml. Had a wet dream not surprisingly and the dream was really porn similar.... Also not very good news. But w/e atleast i didnt relapse. Kinda hating me though for letting it almost happen and not completely leaving the boner alone...
 
S

Stowe2010

Guest
Don't use buddy, it not worth it. Fight the urge and find a chick, not a computer screen. You got his!
 
I don't want to watch porn, if I'm having urges it's always for masturbation, not for porn. My mind quit porn. I know that Porn kinda ruined the last 3 years of my life atleast my sexlife and girls. So I won't use porn anymore, I would feel so disgusted by myself :)
 

Death Trap

Active Member
Hey man. First of all, I want to tell you how happy I am that you are dealing with this problem while still a teenager. It makes me feel great that you will not waste your 20's with this nonsense the way that I did.

I'm also really glad that you are adamant in not looking at porn. You must be careful, however, because relapse can be quite sneaky. Something as mundane as reading about Thai massages can lead to some innocent touching; which can lead to taking a peak at some sexy pics; which can lead to some less than innocent touching; which can lead to...I tell you this, because I've done it many times.

Now, let me tell you what has helped me in dealing with urges more than anything else (this is the idea contained in le_petit_moster's hack book, based on Allan Carr's method for quitting smoking, which I also used). So, since I've read that man's book I have not even come close to relapsing, but I've definitely had faint cravings from time to time. For example, I'll get the image of one of my favorite porn scenes (garbage) in my head. What le_petit_moster says you do when this happens is say to yourself "Thank God (or whatever) I don't have to give in to this urge." I say that out loud to myself, and then just continue doing whatever I'm doing. And then the urge just vanishes.

The idea is to get your conscious mind on the side of not looking at the porn, and not to get sucked into an internal battle, whereby one part of your brain wants to fap, and the other part doesn't want to fap. This creates internal tension, which only makes you want to fap to relieve it. So, you need to get your conscious and unconscious aspects on the same side, which is what saying to yourself "Thank God I don't have to look at porn anymore in my life" is supposed to do. You are re-programming your unconscious mind to want to have nothing to do with fapping, which is an incredibly powerful tool.

What are you planning on studying at university, may I ask?
 
I already kinda wasted my last 3-4 years, but yeah, thats definitly better than shipping this problem into my late 20s..

Yes, this was an exception, I'm not planning on doing this again :D

Thats a good trick, thank you! will definitly try this next time! I'm not saying it loud right now, but thats pretty much what i think. I think: Oh nice try, but thank you i will not watch that. (If there are some hot girls in a music video for example)

I will study Economy-Enginee :)
 

Death Trap

Active Member
NoFapValentine said:
I already kinda wasted my last 3-4 years, but yeah, thats definitly better than shipping this problem into my late 20s..

Yes, this was an exception, I'm not planning on doing this again :D

Thats a good trick, thank you! will definitly try this next time! I'm not saying it loud right now, but thats pretty much what i think. I think: Oh nice try, but thank you i will not watch that. (If there are some hot girls in a music video for example)

I will study Economy-Enginee :)
Typical German!
 
19 year old here, after 73 days of no porn of any kind all I can say is it gets easier and easier and then you just forget about it. In fact, the reason I logged in was to see how long its been because for me it feels like a lifetime ago. So many positive changes happened to me, including great motivation, that the pmo lifestyle just seems idiotic it seems as dumb as smoking honestly. Just stick to it and after a while it will become natural to fill your time with other things you wont even think about porn. Good look to you
 
haha True. I hope i will work at Mercedes sometime^^

Thank you mrreeboot19!

I think i will stop reading the whole forum for now , I'm spending too much time on this site, which i could use otherwise. Will probably Post 1 time per week from now on, and if i need to due to strong urges or what else can happen ;).

 
Hmmmmm... I kinda want to release. I feel like I need to release. I asked myself if I just want to do it 1 time per month, but then I answered: It's stupid, it leads to more masturbation and eventually to porn even if I know that it's bad and threatens me. But I had a little Edge session again, because i did the Kegels naked and then i wanted to measure my dickk. It's not that im masturbating or stroking it, more like trying to get him hard and thats it, but I know that plays games with my Dopaminesystem. But that shouldnt be that big of a problem beacuse i am not addicted to the Dopaminething from Masturbation. Still todays session was the worst i had until yet, because like 1 hour after i stopped, i got a little release of sticky stuff coming out of my dick, which i had normally after masturbating. Not sure if I count it as a relapse, but still since i stopped counting days idk if a relapse is that important. But Im not having any problems quitting porn, thats why i dont think its that big of a deal, beacuse im trying to fight off the PIED.
 

Death Trap

Active Member
Well, I don't think what you did is good, but it's certainly not that bad. Are you not experiencing the desire for real girls yet? Why aren't you out there meeting girls? Aren't you in college or something?

The only thing in MOing by itself that can be bad is if you are fantasizing about porn, which can be quite subtle.

Be careful in the coming hours, since you're gonna probably get hit hard with the desire to MO or, even worse, look at porn.
 
Its not that easy because I am not in germany right now for 3 more weeks and Im not speaking french that good, since I started learning just a few months ago and im not safe enough to flirt with girls and i also have no real connection to get to know people here. And i didnt drink alcohol the last 3 months :D But when im back in germany that will be better.

I didnt think of porn when i 'edged' and i dont htink i would if i masturbated 1 time per month, but that can lead to more and as i said i think once a month is harder than not at all..

It was ok, but i didnt fall asleep that easily.

But I think my reboot will take some time and wont be that easy because I Wasnt wired to real girls. But im not sure with that either because a lot of it is performance anxiety. And i dont know if that will be the same with my next partner.
But sometimes i think its really important to do the hard 90 and then maybe longer aswell and sometimes i think it wouldnt be that bad if i masturbated 1 time per month.
 

Death Trap

Active Member
Oh shit, I spent some time in France too. Are you in a French language school? If so, that is the ideal place to meet girls to sleep with.
 
The school is really small we are 4 people in my class and im not interested in them :D and 3 weeks are not a lot of time.. And i dont want to sleep with a person i dont know at all. I will have to wait until im back in germany again.
 

Death Trap

Active Member
Yeah, German girls are nice, but so are French ones.

One thing I noticed, is that you said you were doing Kegels naked, and started edging. I assume these were the extreme kegels, in which you need to be hard in order to use your dick to lift a weighted object like a towel. Let me give one piece of advice on this, if I could: you need to get hard to do these, but you should not regard doing so as masturbating. You are "working up an erection", not masturbating. Have that mindset as you go about getting hard; you are not having a good time.
 
No i did the normal ones, i think my PC musculature is not that good. But idk i just enjoy being naked since im doing my reboot. I just kinda provocated it, because if im doing kegels i get a bit hard after a few minutes. I might do it wrong though, no idea :D

Dont oyu think its bad for your reboot if you try to get an erection? isnt that kind of edging?
and what do you mean by working up an erection? Isnt this problematic if you are doing hardmode? Are extreme kegels even 'allowed' in a reboot? :D
 

Death Trap

Active Member
By working up an erection, I mean getting hard without feeling good in the process, and certainly not by using fantasy. It's a strange thing, but you can like focus on the the color of the wall, or whatever. Or, if you want to do extreme kegels, you can just wait until you get a spontaneous erection during the day, and then do them. As far as whether or not these harm the reboot, who knows?
 
Sorry i dont understand anything right now :D
Working up an erection = forcing an erection? Or is it just getting an erection by touching= "normal" getting an erection?
But by touching it would be bad in the reboot.

Do you think this working up an erection is bad?

And am i not allowed to phanatasize sexually during my reboot? Or just no porn phantasies? So if i phantasize about a friend I have is this bad or ok?


Ok, but i think ill stick to normal kegels right now
 
Im having a really hard time falling asleep since a fee days. ( h?h? ambivalent) it takes me 60-90 mins since i go to bed. I always end up with some kind of edging which is probably pretty bad for the reboot, because it is kinda close to MO. And Im 44 days in. Might make sense to Mo 1 time and then do another 45 days? Also i didnt have a wetdream in 2 weeks i feel like i have to release.

What do you think about it?
 
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