William said:Gracie, thank you.
Well. We are nearing the end of our time together. Gabe is a hero. Gary is a hero. I am just a guy who beat the addiction. Second hardest thing behind giving myself CPR. OK, I never gave myself CPR. I made that up. That is a joke. Guys don't really give themselves CPR. This was never a life sentence. It never had to be. It does not HAVE to be. If you are at the beginning, you think it is, but it is not. If you are going to fight the addiction, you have to fight it; it will not be easy, you will have to fight, then you take your hits, then you throw your punches, then you take the punches, and you take them again, until you understand that beating this is not about throwing punches, it is about taking them, over and over and over again.
Quitting porn takes a passion that a guy who quit porn simply does not have. I am just a guy now, I am not a guy quitting porn. You guys are. It is behind me now. I am balanced.
Radio Will I AM sending out a broadcast to the addicted, to the nubes, to those who want to quit but do not think they can...YOU CAN. I need some of you to step up. It it time to quit learning, it is time you started teaching. I won't be here forever, I won't be here for long. I have things to do.
Just a bit more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I1p_sXflQQ
Destroy the middle, it is a waste of time. If your parents ask, tell them uncle Will said it is OK. Push it. That is the only way to live life. LIVE IT.
Free is...wonderful. Free is dangerous. Free is do whatever you want without ever hurting anyone. I invite you to free.
WillIAM.
Hey William,
I had this feeling that you might want to bow out at a certain point.
It would be great, though, if you decided to pop by here, every now and then. It would be great.
I greatly admire your attitude and thoughts - as I wrote here some time ago, it just seems that you're way of explaining the addiction hit a fertile ground in me. Maybe it's also the fact that you're tough with the addiction, and through that, to a certain extent, tough with addicts. There are a few bitter pills in your posts, like the one about the fact that some guys here are merely looking for company in the pains of addiction and not to really starve it out. Tough words, but I know think that they are very true.
Had this problem for a long time - the problem with understanding that there is no middle ground to occupy here. It's impossible to reboot "a bit". I guess even the word "reboot" implies that you can't do it a little. Once you reboot anything it usually starts from scratch. I always thought I could negotiate something with the addiction. But I can't. It always screws things up.
What I caught myself doing recently was also quite interesting from the addiction perspective. Once I started feeling the good fruit of the reboot - more focus, more energy, better relationship with my wife, improved sex - and I felt the confidence pumping in me I would start to think that I radiate energy and would get inclined into checking whether women notice that. This is just a circuit to get back to objectifying - one of my serious problems.
How do you deal with that? Feeling the confidence is a wonderful thing. I think I have no problem channeling it into productive work and activity - working, exercising, meeting people, being romantic with my wife. But I feel it also wants to "get out to the ladies" so to speak which I find counterproductive. Or is it just the dopamine addiction in disguise, always ready to sabotage my improvements?
The fact is, women are beautiful. I sometime feel as if I'm learning how to acknowledge that beauty "in a soft way" and just walk away, my thoughts clear of any dopamine wrenching. But then again there are days where it is not so smooth.