Hello Gentlemen. Now we begin.

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William

Guest
If you keep working hard on fixing this, you will be fine.  It takes time and effort to overcome compulsive porn consumption, which is done to obtain a dopamine reaction, in the brain.  It took time and effort to make that reaction an addiction; it takes time and effort to end it.  But you will end it.  The fight you are fighting will one day end.  One day, in your future, you will wake up and the struggle simply will not happen.  You just won't miss it, you just won't want it.  This is not the worst addiction in the world.  You cannot over dose on it, like drugs, you cannot die from the withdrawals, like alcohol. Quitting will be painful.  OK.  You will deal with the pain until the pain recedes, and it will.  You have not relapsed.  You are just continuing to use, but a bit less.  You need to quit using for at least 90 days.  Do the hard 90.  It is not called the "hard 90" because it is easy.  Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy night.  That's a quote, by the way.  Google it while you are spending time not watching porn.

You have to put in the days to get clean.  The days are long and difficult, until they are not. 
 
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William

Guest
I see the same questions asked over and over again.  I also post the same answers over and over again. 

No one is addicted to porn, never has been.  No one is addicted to masturbation, never has been. 

Give or take, around 2011-2014, humanity invented High Speed Internet,  yet another modern marvel.  Sort of like an atomic bomb.  OK, that is cynical, because HSI has many helpful uses.  But, the second we invented HSI, we tacked porn on to it to stream HSIP (High Speed Internet Porn), because we like porn.  As a species, we like porn because porn produces a sexual thought, and sexual thoughts are rewarded with a dopamine rush. Dopamine is a reward and motivational neurotransmitter.  Google it.  Oversimplification?  Yes, but good enough for people with the problem.  Thinking about sex feels "good" to us, due to that brain reaction.  But, in our history, there is a before and after HSIP.  Before HSIP we had porn, and we liked to use it to get that dopamine rush, even if we did not understand that was what we were using it for.  But HSIP is different.  It is a far more efficient and available button to push to get that dopamine high than was available before.  Sure porn has been available to us since we lived in caves.  We have been drawing dicks and tits and cunts and ass on cave walls for 100,000 years.  But, only around 2011-2014 did we invent HSIP, which allowed us to do something the prior porn did not:  Now we can sit for hours, every single day, searching for the never before experienced porn video, which allows us to have he never before experienced sexual thought, which allows us to feed or trigger a dopamine high, for hours, every day, for years, thus forming the addiction.  The addiction is technically an addiction to the brain reaction the sexual thought triggers, which, crudely but correctly, is a dopamine response, dopamine high, dopamine buzz. 

Understanding the brain mechanics goes a long way toward fixing the problem.  If you think your problem is just porn or MO, rather than using them to produce a brain reaction, you are trying to fix wrong problem.  Yes, PMO contributes to the problem, and yes you are going to have to give that up, but as is true in ALL addictions, the addiction is a brain problem, period.  Look up, to the top of this page, and what image has Gabe posted?  Yep, a brain, because this begins and ends in the brain.  Go to the home page here and watch the Wilson vid; he explains it all. 

After, give or take, 8 years of experiencing HSIP, a lot of the world is realizing it can be abused, and it can be addictive.  Dopamine addiction, via porn consumption, is a trained brain condition.  We like porn the first time we experience it, but using it to become addicted to the dopamine response takes training, as in daily, repeated use, for months or years, IMO.  You do not have to understand you are training your brain to become addicted, and most do not understand that is exactly what they are doing or have done.  But, if you are taking hours from your day, every day, to watch porn, you are training your brain to become addicted.  Truth.  Places like this are a warning that that can form a problem.  Once the problem is formed, what you are really giving up is your daily dopamine hit.  That sucks, because by the time your brain comes to expect it every day, it does not want to give it up. Your brain interprets that dopamine rush as momentary euphoria or happiness.  Same as if you smoked crack. 

So, quitting porn sucks because quitting porn means quitting using porn to get a dopamine rush, and the dopamine rush it allows for feels fucking great.  Only reason we watch porn is to get that rush.  Without that porn would be about as interesting to us as washing dishes.  Not so much. Take time to study our problem.  "Porn addiction", aka porn induced dopamine addiction, is 100% a brain problem.  It sucks, but fixing it is is doable.  A lot of us have fixed it.  At the beginning, fixing it sucks, but, eventually, over time, months or years, if you are dedicated to fixing it, it gets fixed and it gets easy. 

Am I very worried about porn addiction worldwide and in the future?  Not as much as I used to be, for cynical reasons.  While porn is a very efficient and available means to obtain a dopamine rush, we are beginning to invent even more efficient ways to obtain it, as in direct electrical brain stimulation to treat pain and depression.  We do not have to PMO anymore to get the reaction, we just have to have a brain implant, and push a button, literally.  There are reports of early experiments where the patients are allowed to push the button when they feel pain or depression, and some of the reports have the patients pushing the button until their thumb is rubbed raw.  Sound familiar?  We are clever monkeys, and HSIP is not the last way we have figured out to abuse our brains to the point of addiction. 

If you have the problem, just know, study it, and it can be fixed.  But you are going to have to put as much effort into quitting the problem as you did in forming it.  That's a lot of effort.

You can do it.  I know you can. 

Much love.

Billy the Kid. 
 
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William

Guest
Ok.  Pretty much sure this is the final post for me.

It is important to understand this problem as 100% a brain problem.  It did not just happen to you.  You trained your brain to get here.  You did it over time, and it took effort.  It will take time and effort to fix it. 

It is important to understand your history.  We invented High Speed Internet, and about a second later we invented High Speed Internet Porn.  A second after that we invented High Speed Internet Porn Addiction, which is actually porn induced dopamine addiction.  Yes, the experts will say that is a vast oversimplification, but for you and me, it is true enough.  All addictions feed brain reactions that have existed in the species for millennia, but which without the input of super stimulation--which we invent--do not form addictions.  So, we have always obtained a dopamine rush from thinking about sex.  That is nature's evolved say of encouraging reproduction, and it works.  Sometime between 2011 and 2015, we invented a new way of thinking about sex, and making thinking about sex effortless and prolonged:  HSIP.  Though we did not understand the brain science at the time, when we invented HSIP, we invented a button we could push, to think about sex, and obtain a dopamine rush, that we never ever really needed to stop pushing.  Though we had liked the feeling of thinking about sex gave us before, we invented a means of never having to stop thinking about sex, and we liked the reward neurotransmitter response we got from it (the dopamine response) so much, it became addictive.  For those of us who were susceptible to it, we needed it every day, even if we never thought of it in those terms.  As with most addictions, it is only when we attempt to stop, and find that is incredibly difficult and painful, that we come to realize, we are addicted.  Up until that point, it is just a harmless, and fun, distraction.  It is a harmless and fun distraction until you try to quit and can't.  Then it becomes serious, and then we end up in places like Reboot Nation.  This is a place where we come to fix it. 

For me, it's fixed, and has been for years.  That does not mean I am the same person I was before I became addicted.  Addiction changes the brain, forever.  By "fixed" I mean I do not use, and I do not miss it.  If you are a newbie, this can be you, but it will take time and effort.  Pain is the price you will have to pay for freedom.  If you do not withdrawal when you quit, you are not addicted.  If you do...welcome to the club. 

Gabe, thanks.  Gary Wilson, thanks.  Phil Zimbardo, thanks.  Noah, thanks.  B.F. Skinner, thanks.  Ivan Pavlov, thanks. John B. Watson, thanks. Edward Thorndike, thanks.  I'll stop there and not go all the way back to Thucydides. 

There is a button under profile, and under action, that says "delete this account."  In a few days I am going to push it, but I wanted these thanks to be here for a moment. 

I have absolute confidence that all of you will overcome this problem, as many of us, including myself, have.  Don't hope that you will, know that you will. 

Much love.

William.
 

Culeitor

Member
Sad to see you leave. I just discovered this forum a month ago, but soon realized that William (I did read this entire thread) is an user with great knowledge and, above all, a good person.

Thanks for all your time and support here, William. Your great posts are an invaluable contribution which opened many eyes, giving a ray of hope for all addicts. I wish you all the best in your life.
 

alamar365

Member
I would add, "Thank you William." I do hope that "delete this account" doesn't result in deleting this post. That would be a catastrophe. No exaggeration. Enjoy the rest of your life and know that you've done a wonderful service for hundreds if not thousands of needy people like me. And, assuming the post stays available, it will continue to do that for many years to come. God bless
 

malando

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
William, I would like to ask you not to delete anything you have posted. If you would like me to cancel your account, please contact me and I will do that, but I think it would be a terrible shame if you were to delete your own legacy from here. You have helped a huge number of people and your posts should remain as legacy contributions.

Thanks, Malando.
 

Jz15

Member
Thank you William. Hope you achieve the best in life and live with happiness and contentment. You have helped maybe more than you realize. If only you saw with your eyes how much we have changed physically and psychologically because of people like you.
 

Gracie

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
William, I too am sad to see ou leave!  You were so spportive of me as an SO and my frustrations.  You have had more people reach out than anyone.  It would be sad to nt see the wisdom contained in your thread disappear.  I consider it most valuable
 

TK-421

Active Member
I haven?t posted for a while, but also agree that this thread should NOT be deleted. It has been incredibly helpful for many people and it would be a terrible shame if it was not available to new people who have yet to find their way to this forum.
 

Jz15

Member
Yeah I completely agree with everyone here that this thread has a great value to rebooters and would be great if it could stay. Personally I was prompted to join this forum because of this particular thread and I remember reading it to give me great inspiration at my very first days. It was the first one I read in this forum I think.
 

DavS

Active Member
  This is a very important thread. Worth reading and bringing into your heart. He starts with the key question, are you really ready to be done with it?
 

Denial77

Member
travelog said:
I second those sentiments shell shock. William, your posts are truly inspirational, and you have a real talent for expressing it all so clearly. Thank you, i'm sure you are helping many people here.

Exactly! I'm also thinking that so. :)
 

DavS

Active Member
  Yes, it's good to post on this thread, keep it active, so new rebooters will get to read it!
 

bob

Respected Member
I am continuing the posting to this link to keep it alive. William always had good things to say...

One of the things mention was to eliminate p from your life forever. Commit to not looking at porn, ever. I must say that I had an epiphany this morning. I realized that I don't want to look a porn for the rest of my life.

I must clarify. It still has the potential to excite. I could easily drop back into a relapse. I am not being over confident with my ability to resist. I am just saying that I am thinking a life without porn is just fine. I don't need it. I don't want it. I will stay vigilant but I don't have that nagging feeling of; "oh, I don't think I can give this up forever. I am going to miss something."

Not the most elegant prose but this is a success for me. It feels good. And to other's out there. Never give up. Keep working on this.

Peace
 

Munke2112

Member
Thank you for this post. The videos are very informative even though I needed to get away from one at 4:28 as I felt my addiction pathway begin to flare up and start tugging at me again. I don't need to turn back now.  (day 60 full clean, day 172 clean with one wrong turn and my needing to claw my way out)

We all need to remember "Preoccupation with unworthy behavior can lead to the unworthy behavior" -Oaks

That being said the opposite is true too, Preoccupation with WORTHY BEHAVIOR will lead us to worthy behavior.
Let's not turn out internet pornography addictions into forever being ONLINE with others forever encouraging, but never fully away from the internet and the bright background screens. Those actions that are not actually real living. Let's get away from the screens, and learn to interact with REAL people.

Still love you all and best of luck to everyone attempting to break away from the pull
 
I am here for the first time. Have struggled with this issue for years. I have known I had a problem since the year 2000. Have been to counciling. Did a step program at church. I am a married man. It doesn't matter. I am still stuck and fully expect to lose her. I have so much to lose now. I need help. I will begin reading and hope I can find the help here. Thanks for reading.
 
P

Psyc Ops

Guest
Just found this on NoFap. Posted by the ironically named VirginSexGod.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0s3WFENlZ4&start_radio=1&list=RDj0s3WFENlZ4&t=0
 
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