My Journal, and Road to Recovery

[True2Myself]

Greetings all,
First off I want to say how grateful I am to the designers, MOD's and anyone else who participated in the creation of this website!  Kudo's to all of you! 

I am a 59 y/o male who is sick and tired of living this secret life of shame,  and damaging my own life and others around me. (especially my wife).  It's been a weird trip through the years (no not THAT kind of trip  ) and I have tried to stop looking at porn, but doing it on my own without any resources made it d@3m near impossible, so I always picked it back up again.  Not only am I trying to save my marriage, but I'm just tired of living a double life of secrecy and lies, and it needs to stop.

I am registered on other porn addiction related websites and actively participating, but they lack the mechanics of the brain chemistry, and what is really going on in this twisted messed-up mind of mine.  Thankfully YBOP and this site answers those questions and gives me something I can sink my teeth into.  Also reading posts from other members here gives me some assurance that I am not alone with this addiction, and that there IS hope to kick it for good.
Thanks to anyone who has read all of this and comments are certainly welcome. 
Sorry this first posting is so long, and a bit scattered,

 

[OldHornyGuy]

Welcome aboard, True, I think that you will find this a nice place to be.  You'll find a number of married guys here who are engaged in the struggle as you are, I am sure their stories will be of some help to you.  I am currently not married, but porn certainly played a part in my two divorces.  I feel I am on the road to recovery now and certainly this site has been a part of that.

To reconnect with your wife you might want to take a look at this site if you haven't already: http://www.reuniting.info/, I have found it enormously useful.

Peace and Stay Strong!

 

[Gabe Deem]

@ True2Myself

I am registered on other porn addiction related websites and actively participating, but they lack the mechanics of the brain chemistry, and what is really going on in this twisted messed-up mind of mine

That's one of the reasons I started RN was because I saw a huge need for what helps so many rebooters in recovery. Learning how porn was numbing and rewiring my brain was essential for me giving up porn and my mindset that keeps me away.

I hope you find the help, encouragement, and information you need here. You're not alone and you will find a great group of people here willing to help.

I hope the best for you and your wife. Welcome to the Nation.

Much Love

 

[True2Myself]

That's one of the reasons I started RN was because I saw a huge need for what helps so many rebooters in recovery. Learning how porn was numbing and rewiring my brain was essential for me giving up porn and my mindset that keeps me away.

Thanks Gabe for the words of encouragement!
The "other" website I mentioned (RecoveryNation), deals more with Values and Virtues, and although is helpful is not addressing the immediate problem.    I am more of a "fix-it, do-it-yourselfer" kind of guy, and learning the mechanics of how the brain works is something I can really relate to.  After watching the video's and reading info on this site, it really gives me hope that my addiction is not only fixable but something I am able to do myself.    ;D   
What a sense of relief!  It took a great deal of courage for you to bare your soul and share your story on such a forbidden topic.  Well done!  8)

 

[savingmysoul]

Welcome to the Nation.

You are at a great site - full of support from many of us on the path to rebooting/rewiring/recovery.

Find your strength - then embrace it

you can be successful