My future is awesome!

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
havent slept well in 2 nights.
memory is short since yesterday

something is bothering me
yesterday i woke feeling bad
today the feeling is worse
i dont quite know the reason
subtly i think it has something to do with my finances, and future outlook
its an uncomfortable feeling:
- mind and body tired when awake
- negative outlook of life
- despondent, uninterested and sad
- hungry

is depression setting in again?
i will find ways to overcome it.
- discipline
- energize
- sweet stuff like chocolate and food
- look out instead of in
I will go take some energy drink now, listen to some nice music on Di.FM and smile into the mirror

Life is great!
I live a happy life
I am surrounded with people i love
I have positive words and thoughts
 

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
Only with goals can we get anywhere
PMO is NOT A GOAL

Everything we need we can arise from within, intrinsically

Give first, ask later

When down and out, go for a short walk in the park. It is inspiring

Do something different each day to inspire creativity

Watch out of thoughts/behaviour/places/people that sap your energy/motivation
Move around and find new spots that invigorate and energize

Whatever I need I will go and find it

Do I want it ? YES ! I want it !

When down go for a run. even 5 mins is ok

Things do not happen on their own.
If i want something, got to make it happen by making it easy for others
try new things. keep myself interested and going
meditate. many answers will arise from within.

I am blessed to have a loving family (mom)
I am blessed to have a home to live in
I am blessed to have good health
I am blessed to have many people who care and are concerned about me
I am blessed that many people like and love me






MY love is an amazing person
She does and endures things that no one does
She has will, determination and intention far more than anyone i know
She is the 0.1% when we are all 99.9%
She has inspired me more than anyone has.
I will not let her nor myself down
 

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
Yesterday was an awfully awfully depressed day.
Mood was completely down, completely negative, pessimistic and lethargic.
80 pullups in the morning, a run in the afternoon and a short sitting barely bought me any energy to deal with life.

Today was a complete change.
Coffee's discussion on chimp\inner critic
A focus on goal
An interview in the morning
A class in the afternoon
Gave me abundant thankfulness and much to think about.

Perhaps 3 things that happened made me light up:
1. Talking to a.friend last night of how her sister just up and started a business
2. Listening to gorilla mindset podcast on how focused and determined he is on building his business and personal brand
3. A sense of population and demand growing


Broadly speaking
Negative thinking made me worry about problems, failure and challenges.
But these are part of life. There is no need to fear about them. They are as natural as night is to day.
The key here is management of inner critic and goal.

We all have goals.
Whats keeping us from our goals is not ability, its mindset. And the inner critic is a major component of limiting mindset.

Take inner critic away and opportunity is EVERYWHERE.
instead of walking in circles, goals gets us there.
Bigger dreams mean bigger outcomes.

Dream big
Be optimistic
Curb the inner critic
Love and live life.

The flips of emotion in 48 hours of deepest darkness and brightest light.
How do i keep staying in the light???
 

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
Folks, the roots of this addiction lies in
1. How.much we love ourselves
2. How much we can manage our emotions and inner critic

1. Is sorted by meditation and self care
2. Is sorted by goals, focus, discipline and self awareness.

This way, we become less influenced by external distractions and be able.to get to our goals.

 

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
i end this day with absolute amazement what a tremendous difference a state of openness and negative makes to me.
it is absolutely day vs night
when i'm dark, everything is black, and nothing can be seen, no path out can be found.
when i'm bright, everything is visible. so many opportunities, choices and paths.
why am i spending so much of my precious life in the dark ?

When dark, I whine, whimper and beg for my love to love me
When bright, i want to rise up to the highest standard and let her be amazed and impressed.

I dont understand how i can be these 2 different poles.

How do i stay in the bright pole forever and ever?

I want to live in light forever and ever. It feels so good !


I have decided i will surrender my life to my goals
All my decisions and time will be made for the benefit of improvement towards reaching my goal
Like the men who renounce humanity and enter monkhood,
I too will renounce all pleasure seeking and devote all my energy and effort into self improvement.
i renounce myself, my person, my identity.
i live from this day on to serve my purpose. My purpose is to deliver all the goals i have placed before myself. nothing shall deter me from this path. All effort i take shall be of self improvement.
 

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
Quick recap of yesterday
- morning early wake, gym, effort
- great interview at 11
- good lunch at noon
- fantastic gorilla mindset podcast at 1pm
- good class in afternoon
- great class break sandwiches
- good evening checking out environment at town
- made decision that I will surrender my life in the pursuit of personal improvement. I will ignore all future noise from my negative inner critic/voice
- insightful NLP learning in evening
- beautiful partner working through lesson ( as planned haha)
- nice chat and learnings from new friend
- early night as i planned

*** a bloody stiff woody in the middle of the night to go pee !!! hahaha what a nice surprise ! ***

havent had a hard on for a long time.
When we are positive, EVERYTHING goes well !!!

Stay positive people !!!
 

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
I was taking a walk today to get some sun and energy while listening to a podcast and doing some pullups.

I realized :
- Words
- Vision
- 2 more
- Condensed goals


Words are what we use to describe our thoughts and intention
I will use only positive words that inspire and encourage me like
I want.. I can... I'm great... I feel great... I love this...

Vision is what motivates and guide us
I feel very inspired each day when, before starting with whatever i am doing, I would visualize what my short and long term outcomes will look like, and that makes my effort even more meaningful and rewarding

2 more is what i tell myself to tame my internal monkey/critic/voice
Say I'm running laps and the voice says "i'm tired, lets go home"
When that happens i will immediately say I will do 2 more...
..rounds
..reps
..sets
etc.
This will build tolerance against the weak, emotional clingy and unfounded inner voice, and also drive resilience towards reaching and achieving our set goals

Condensing goals means making long term goals also meaningful in the short term
I gym for long term muscle maintenance but i also do it for energy sustenance across my current day so that i can complete my daily goals
I run for long term mental resilience but I also do it for recognition as part of my daily achievement list
Goals are wonderful when they can be recognized to bring benefits immediately and also in the longer term



 

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
Who am I ?
The person and his history does not matter.
Only the future matters.
Therefore I am my actions and values.

Why do we PMO?
I believe it is to gain a sense of achievement, however false.

Why do we seek 'achievement' in this manner?
- We have low self esteem or shame and believe we do not deserve natural love
- We seek certainty in an uncertain world, fearing rejection and failure
- We didnt recognize our daily achievements
- We try too hard to be perfect
- We are not connected with our emotions

What should we therefore do?
- have courage
  -(to be imperfect)
  -(rethink failure/rejection as an opportunity to improve)
- have compassion to ourselves
  -Connect with our emotions
  -Protect our self esteem
  -love and acceptance of self and others
- have connection to authenticity
  -(let go of thinking who we should be and be the one who we are)
 

js2004

Active Member
Good stuff TAN. Living with integrity sums it up for me. It is something I keep telling myself. Making sure I'm proud of my actions.
 

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
JS,
its wonderful you can put it in 1 sentence what i need 1 page to describe :)

The road is long and we tend to forget, so I must journal on!

Life gets routine and mundane after a while, and its easy to get sucked into the present.
I too forget my goals.

Last week.
MON. Slipped
TUE. Slipped
WED. Cant remember most, but went for meetup. Great discussion though.
There was another who was depressed. She is still stuck. I must not be like her.
THURS. Massive depression. The world is black. Everything is black. This is the worst.
FRI. Thankfully this is a busy day. Gym in the morning. Good interview in morning. Good lunch at noon. Great class in afternoon. Observations at evening. made myself go for night meetup. It was a Great evening. Talked till late. New friends made.
The difference between Thurs and Fri is totally night and day
SAT. generally down and mundane day. dragged myself to my friend's bday party. cooked for them. ate cake and chatted. Cake was carbo loading haha. Left at 10 to sleep early for tomorrow's race.
SUN. Race day. Great Race, ran really well. Slept a lot. knees sore. Visited friend at hospital. Wonderful dinner with clients.

MON
she texted me.
I am happy and surprised.
many things to think about.
TUE
Roaming. Went to library to read. Wrote a cover letter in the afternoon. GoT at night. Upset with mom.
Discovery:
Mom and I are different polarities
She is the kind, warm, caring, worrying and protective type.
I was the outgoing competitive go for it type.
Yet I viewed her as hindrance to me because her values are counter to mine.
Instead of pushing me to try harder, her protective words always ring of holding back.
All my life I resist her. Today I still cannot accept her love.
I always felt inadequate and unable because of her over protectionism.
Perhaps that's why I am so confused today. I have become an uncertain and dependent person.
Of course I have to be 100% responsible for my own thoughts and action.
I know this:
1. I must be with someone similar to my own polarity to drive me forward
https://www.cnbc.com/2017/08/21/why-the-secret-to-your-success-is-who-you-marry.html
2. I must go forward with positivity and courage and take necessary risk

Yet, I don't know how to do the following:
1. How do I leave my aging mom who depends on me for her survival?
2. I dont want to grow old and alone because I took care of her, like my uncle for grandma.
3. How do i learn to love and forgive this kind person who loved me in the only way she knows, yet is someone I reject so strongly.
4. Can I drop everything and be with the girl i love in another country?
I am at severe odds and in pain with myself.
I know the answer to my problems is to make enough money so that I can outsource my care to another. Yet this goes counter to my culture and values. And I dont have money.
I am now even more determined to work hard.

Went running at night. Ended up sleeping late. Late sleep and wake is a sign of real troubles tomorrow.

WED
Slipped. Moody and down. snoozed for over an hour. morning gym was unenergetic and unmotivating. craved external stimulus. got sucked in but thankfully no action taken.
Napped at noon and woke with anxiety and alertness:
"Stop wallowing in self pity. I only have 1 life. I must live it fully"
This afternoon feeling is day vs night in terms of my morning emotions.
Question: How do i keep this drive ???
Meeting my friends for coffee gave me new insight:
"interesting people are people with interests"
I talked about having immense fear, worry and shame (?!?) when taking my last project. I wonder why.
Method: I need to find a way to frame my mind positively !
I discovered new idea: "motivation for children"
Forced myself to go for meetup group in the evening.
I reframe my thinking from "this is a chore" to "this is wonderful and broadening for me"
Indeed, I have new skills now.

I am thinking I must work hard so that I can raise enough money to help others.

Somewhere along these days I spoke to someone of my depression and wore it on my sleeve like it was an achievement or something.
This is really odd.
I must no longer talk to others of my depression.
This does not instill any confidence in others or myself.
From this day on I will reframe all my words to speak only of
"abundance, success, positivity"

"We must really listen hard to our own words. The answers are all hidden within"
 

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
putting down my concerns into words works.
a nap to clear the mind helps too

1. preparing for failure leads only to failure
preparing for success leads only to success
therefore, prepare only for success

https://www.themuse.com/advice/how-to-get-over-your-fear-of-failing-at-a-new-job
a. recall my past successes
b. visualize my future successes


2. love my mom as who she is
my not loving her is the reason i cant receive love from her
she is who she is
and I should love her for who she is, not who i want her to be
and see her as a multi-dimensional person, like i am a multi-dimensional person,
and not focus on her singular weak points, like i focus on my singular points.
and celebrate all her strengths, like celebrate all my strengths.
It is what we do that makes us, not what we don't.

I cant and dont want to change her, but i can and want to change myself.
 

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
I struggle so much to get work done.
This mind of mine is so negative and lazy and resisting.
How can i be productive if i have to handle work and an uncooperative spirit???
It's like I'm willing myself to fail!!!
 

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
Getting a girl is easy
Working out is easy
Losing weight is easy
Being happy is easy
Meeting people is easy
Getting a job is easy
Improving myself is easy
Being meaningful to others is easy

Because

You're interested
 

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
Hate is the most dangerous emotion of all.
Hate narrows.
It constricts
It tightens and compresses
Hate denies us the power of togetherness
The vision to see abundance
The feeling of more opportunities.

Hate separates us
Makes us alone
Makes us powerless
Makes us weak
Makes us selfish and self-centered.

The opposite of hate is of course love
Our love for others makes us stronger
Gives us energy and power to do more
Have more courage
Have more hope
We would naturally achieve more
Because we know whatever we do
Everyone, including us, will benefit
Will be better
Will be happier

Have love for all
Have love for self
It is not a better choice...
It is the only choice

Btw, dont be so hard on yourself with keeping to abstinence or being dejected with restarting.
We are imperfect.
There is no shame in making mistakes or 'failing'
in fact, this maybe better than endless days of 'success'
because in making poor decisions, we recognize and learn, and only in learning, we understand and improve.
So do not punish yourself if you've made mistakes or poor judgement
It is the most priceless opportunity for growth
Only be upset if you did not learn and keep making the same errors.

We are never failures
We are all works in progress

Plan ahead.
Life is full of endless possibilities
 

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
Thank you Max!

PMO is self centeredness!
Depression, negativity and pessimism are also self centeredness.

The path to freedom is to do the opposite.
When craving love, give love abundantly
When craving attention, give attention abundantly

Give up the self.
Be engaged with the current.
Be interested in others
That is freedom....

 

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
I had a dream today.
Dreamt i was waiting at a bus stop w my mom.
She is sitting behind me.
Expensive cars and big vehicles were zooming by us.
After a while i leaned back onto my mom's knees.

In my dream i have let go of my resistance of love for my mom.
I worry about her when she goes out because she is old and frail.
I imagine her fear of letting me go play when i was young because i would often come home w asthma.
I fear that lonely day when she will pass on.
I am at a bus stop because i am poor.
But i am rich because i still have her, today.

PMO denies us from seeing reality
We live in a dream world thinking everything is perfect, we are complete, full if riches, full of love.
But we have none of that.
It is just a dream. Thats why its so attractive to get back in.
Life is not a dream.
But it holds far more abundance than any pmo fantasy can bring.

To let love in is to let love out.
Stop limiting ourselves with closed mindsets.
Open up and let go
 

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
I have spent too long ruminating on being not good enough.
Consequently i keep spending effort compensating for something that exists only in thought but not in reality.
Yet thought only becomes reality, it is self fulfilling.
Thinking of being not good enough only results in becoming not good enough.
Ironically my efforts have resulted in me becoming anything but good enough.

I am NOT not good enough.
I am good
I am better than good
I am great

There is only 1 me in the universe
Unique
Different
Special

I will spend all my time and energy keeping, making, growing, becoming even more unique, special and wonderful.
 
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