Thanks - a lot of wisdom and good points in here, I will reread this if tempted
Hi
@Nico, after many many cycles of relapse am I only here. Let me condense some more key points for you here.
1. All addictions isn't about the abused material. We started because life was not satisfactory back then. The addiction took root because it was body alterning, too fast and too strong. True recovery is about making life satisfactory so that the addictive material is no longer attractive or necessary.
2. One must look at the addictive cycle objectively. Why did I use it? What were the precursors? Was I too bored/ stressed/ tired/ angry/ depressed etc for some time? Address these first.
What was I trying to achieve?How did release impact me?
3. knowing the full cycle, especially it's follow up costs, is important. Remembering that a relapse takes 4 weeks to return us to normal will make one think very hard if there are better alternatives.
Week 1. calm but dulled
Week 1 end. Cravings return and stays
Week 2. Unstable and unfocused
Week 3. Mental clarity slowly returning
Week 4. Mental strength returning.
Week 5. Strong, well centered, stable. Not because of the relapse, but because the last 5 weeks were spent developing self and not being dependent on non-relatable far away sources for support. This strength comes form achievements, recognition and self respect.
I don't see relapse as a bad thing. Sex is instinctive and part of what it means to be human.
But relapses must be seen as a very high cost very short term band aid, and never a long term form of self care.
Ask yourself, would you use cigarettes/ drugs/ opioids/ gambling/ alcohol to soothe yourself ? If not, why?
And apply the answers to PMO.
Final supportive advice.
Recovery is not possible if all one focus on is resisting.
It is replacement and repair that matters.
Take good care of yourself.
I'm always here to help