My future is awesome!


Respected Member
While all addictive materials are classed as stimulants, they can also be termed denial-ants.

Why do I say this?
Because they disrupt our system and deny us the opportunity to experience life normally and naturally.

Even caffeine which is a mild stimulant, denies us of proper and natural rest cycles.

Don't deny ourselves the opportunity to live a good and natural life.
Reduce stimulants and live naturally.


Respected Member
Adaptable vs Predictable.

PMO is predictable.
With long term use, it teaches expectation, entitlement and complacency.
As there is no challenge, we dumb down, becoming sheep.
In time, failure builds and esteem falters.
Reality is not what we expect it to be.

Reality is ever changing.
Every change requires adaptation.
Only with adaptation can we be successful.

Curing this addiction is not just about feel good.
It is about regaining ability to adapt.


Respected Member
Learned Anxiety

Addictions are fast acting by nature.
Too easy to obtain
Too fast to get high

In time we lose the knowledge and ability to have patience
We want every thing now
We no longer foreplay life or effort
We want things done even before we begin

Not getting what we want now builds stress
So on top of the stress of duty and demand
There is now the added stress of delay

No wonder we addicts are so easily agitated.

Everything available at our fingertips is bad.

All good things take time
Thus it requires patience
To be patient is to endure
How long must trees grow before they bare fruit?
How long must we study before we understand the nature of what we do?
How long must we relate before we have firm relationships?
Be a farmer who creates, not a thief who destroys.

A store bought bag of chips takes no time compared to the time to make a healthy homemade bowl of salad, soup or well prepared pasta.

Regain the patience
Regain the endurance
Relearn how to be longer term
And this moment's pain is but a small bump in the road.
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Respected Member
What do I have? An addiction
What do I really have? A dependency
What am I addicted to? PMO
What am I really addicted to? Fast stimulant
What am I really really addicted to? Now results
Why do I need now results? No results
Why don't I have results? No past investments
Why don't I have past investments? No long term goals
Why no long term goals? No planning
Why no planning? No effort
Why no effort? Externally dependent
Why externally dependent? Lazy and entitled

Start from the beginning and treat the problem not the symptoms

No more laziness
No more entitlement


Respected Member
Exploring the body cycle and trying to understand what I am going through and what are the solutions that I really need.

Week 0. Stressed. Needing relief
Week 1. calm
Week 1 end. Rebound cravings
Week 2. Feeling somewhat lost and undirected
Week 3. Clarity regaining
Week 4. Mature strong and independent
Week 5. Regularity setting now. Seeking stimulant for pick me up not relief.

What have I learnt?
When stressed, sleep and rest
When bored ?
When egotistical?
What are my long term purposes?

Need to ask the right questions
Need to find the right solutions


Respected Member
Pessimism and negativity are stimulants.

It just dawn to me that these dreadful 2 are actually self created stimulants.

When "bad" thing happens, adrenals are released and we get a fight or fight rush.
Also, when we are pessimistic, any bit of bad is like an affirmation that our negativity is correct. Thus it is a perverse form of success, where success also stimulates.

I notice that many sufferers here, including myself, are negative, pessimistic and very hard on ourselves.

I consider that most addictions, which deliver fast and "now" results, are to blame for promoting a world view that also requires fast and now results.
Because this is not possible, we see delay and anything not to our expectations as failure.

Delay is not failure. It is only success not yet happening.
But in our need for haste and instant gratification, we "turned" any negative views into a perversion of success (negativity achieved) and stimulation, and over time learn to see more and more negatives in our lives, becoming more sensitive and ugly.

Also, porn based addiction is an attention-to-self addiction. We are made to feel highly attractive and desired. This again is not always true in reality, and the constant realization of this truth takes a toil on overall positivity.

Delaying gratification extends patience, allowing one the opportunity to relook at outcomes and change self opinions, becoming less negative and pessimistic.
Stopping porn stops excessive attention to self, thereby decreasing sensitivity to real world attention neutrality.
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Respected Member

With reduced PMO comes reduced demand for reality to conform with expectations. (Since PMO is so planned and predictable)
With reduced conformance demand comes less distress when things don't go as planned or expectations (maturity)
With less distress comes opportunity to see things more clearly and objectively (clarity)
With clarity comes less negativity (positivity)
With positivity comes strength (independence)


Whenever there is feelings or desire to give up, remember that we are only at 40% of our full ability.
That is because the body sets very low threshold in order to protect itself.
Hunger and Fat loss
Holding breath

Emotionally we'll feel like we're at our limits and want to give up, but we're only at 40% of what we really can endure.

Keep going.
Keep building tolerance.


Respected Member
With greater distance and demand for PMO comes a shift of reliance towards reality.
The attractions of PMO diminish quickly because clarity of the realization that they are false grows stronger with each passing day.
Reality is really not as bad as when viewed under the deluded eyes of the addict
The addictive material is really not as good as viewed under the same deluded eyes

More good in life is visible and coming from many more areas than before when it can only come from 1 source

Positivity and optimism is also strengthening day by day

More attention is now spent at improving daily life
At taking better care of self
At letting go of environmental demands
At appreciating all those around me


Respected Member
With less viewing there is less desire
With less desires there is less pain of not getting
With less desire there is less demand for others to fulfil my needs
With less pain there is greater pleasure from the surrounding
With less external demand there is greater inner peace and resilience

I don't need these distractions
I don't need unnecessary pulls away from my self and my stability
I don't need to be far away from where I am
I need to be as close to me as possible

What good does addictive material do to me? Nothing
There is no knowledge learnt
There is no improvement to life
There is no benefit to myself
It only takes me further and further away from where I am

Addiction is a hijack of body systems that are instinctive and meant to motivate, at very low doses. Don't believe the fake reasons the body tells you. Emotion has no knowledge or history. It is purely reactive.
It is like replacing all my food with chocolate.
Soon I will be diabetic and die.
We were never meant to have such high constant doses.
It is distracting and destructive.

Only spend precious time on meaningful things that bring about positive change.

Stay grounded
Stay relevant
Stay close to where I am
Value the near. Discard the far.


Respected Member

With greater independence comes the ability to say no

No is very important to keep bad things away

No gives control over our life and builds strength and independence

No keeps us on the straight and narrow, helping us reach our goals earlier


Respected Member
Son, are you winning?

Meme culture and definition aside, we all need to know we are winning sometimes.

This gives us confidence and belief that we can.

School environment is difficult because we are more often left with a not winning than a winning feeling.
Not that school is bad, but it narrows the space and opportunity to experience winnings.

Long term addiction is also bad as it creates more not winning than winning feelings.


Respected Member
Why are we such attention hungry people?
Because we haven't given ourselves much needed self attention.
Because we let others do our thinking for us.
Because we depend on others to do our caring for us.


Respected Member
Week 1. calm but dulled
Week 1 end. Cravings return and stays
Week 2. Unstable and unfocused
Week 3. Mental clarity slowly returning
Week 4. Mental strength returning.
Week 5. Strong, well centered, stable. Not because of the relapse, but because the last 5 weeks were spent developing self and not being dependent on non-relatable far away sources for support. This strength comes form achievements, recognition and self respect.

I don't see relapse as a bad thing. Sex is instinctive and part of what it means to be human.

But relapses must be seen as a very high cost very short term band aid, and never a long term form of self care.

Ask yourself, would you use cigarettes/ drugs/ opioids/ gambling/ alcohol to soothe yourself ? If not, why?
And apply the answers to PMO.

Final supportive advice.
Recovery is not possible if all one focus on is resisting.
It is replacement and repair that matters.

Take good care of yourself.
I'm always here to help :)

One month in a new challenge is setting in.
How do I heal myself?
I feel pain and loneliness
I feel no one cares or can help
I don't know how to give myself kindness and attention.

There are answers in my questions.
Let me slowly find the way.
I am unfamiliar as I have been avoiding this for a long time with PMO.

I need empathy
I've been so cold and hard on myself for so long
How do I empathize myself?

I will find my answer.


Respected Member
I thought much about a discussion elsewhere,
About how I've been avoiding myself all these years
About not knowing how to take care of myself.

And it seems the answer is very simple.

Give myself time to myself.

I suppose this is where meditation and self reflection comes in.

Meditation to let go of everything and be at the moment

Meditation so that I am not living in my phone or somewhere in my head or in my imagination

Self reflection to think about my day, what I've done, and what needs to be done.

I know I need attention and affection, but it is not from the incorrect PMO ways, nor from someone else near, but internally from myself.

I will be fine with or without others.
I will be fine by myself
This is bliss.
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Respected Member
Clearing house and going through my old stuff, I came across a box full of letters from my exes.

We were young and full of youthful emotional views.

It's sad how much this addiction took away much needed clarity to lead a healthy and happy life.

I was much loved, needed and appreciated. Yet I only saw what I didn't have, couldn't get. I often felt not good enough, not deserving. I felt misunderstood misjudged, unappreciated.

I've made poor decisions not beneficial to my needs, and didn't take up the challenges to improve my life.

My partners were all good people. Grounded. Hardworking. Humble. Intelligent. Decent. I just wanted things to be quick and easy.

Today they are someone else's wife, mother. I don't feel loss. I too have a similarily good wife.

Today away from addiction I feel more grounded and blessed. No more youthful uncertainties and ambiguities. No more having to bend myself backwards for someone else's attention and acceptance.

I am grateful to have a good wife. I am more aware and appreciative of the good in my life. I care less about selfish needs and am more focused on the family wellbeing. I don't need a hot chick, or drama to fill my life. I am sufficient as I am.

I have not been a loss.
I have not been unloved.
I was, and still is, loved and appreciated.

I can see the good my life.
I don't need more.


Respected Member

it is hard to know what is affecting us when we're under the influence.
The behavior exists under our senses and radar.
Only when we are clean for some time do we realize what is affecting us.

This is not just from addiction.
PTSD, childhood abuse also creates influences that triggers rapid emotional responses that demand action.

Fundemental to everything is coming back to the self

When the self is complete and contented, external influences will soften and decay.

How to make the self complete and contended?
Be interested in the self
Take care of the self
Encourage and cheer for the self
Be kind to the self
Most of all, love the self

So, do not be overly attracted to people, things or events that draw us away from ourselves.
Remain focused on our core values and purpose.


Respected Member
Escaping (fantasy)

As with all other addiction, PMO is about
Being somewhere else
With someone else
Doing something else

This desire (delusion)
destroys whatever we have here,
kills our relationships here,
makes our current circumstances difficult, uncomfortable and unbearable.

No one made us do this but ourselves
Therefore we own the sole responsibility of our suffering, or happiness.

So what is happiness?
Being here
Living here
With the people who are here
With the life we have here

Not elsewhere
Never elsewhere
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