It is strange I always focus on fear of failure.I am beginning to sense the nature of my draw to porn as a seeking of help.
Let me explain.
1. I encounter challenges
2. I am fearful and want to seek help and assurance
3. But I don't have anyone to turn to
4. So instead of finding qualified people to help solve my problems, I turn to porn people as a means of comfort and assurance.
5. I yank and get instant relief.
6. My problem is still not solved but I am oblivious to it because I am in refractory
7. Repetition leads to habitualization.
To solve this is to take correct approach:
1. Calm the fuck down
Identify the problem and clarify what's needed. Break it down.
2. Develop a plan
3. Execute the plan
4. Be proud of the execution
5. Accept the outcome.
Don't seek perfection.
Be kind and gentle with myself.
I really do not need porn.
It really doesn't help solve my problems (financial calculations )
I will only pay if they provide tutoring and technical consultation services
It could have been easily rephrased as opportunity to learn new knowledge
One more skill in my head.
Attitude and perspective are so important.
Years of competitive schooling, poor results and pleasure indulgence messed me up bad.
I have no need to prove to others. Improvement for myself is all that matters from now till I die.
I am beginning to appreciate the journey more than the destination.
I like my life better this way.