I am awesome!

[TakeActionNow]

I am beginning to sense the nature of my draw to porn as a seeking of help.

Let me explain.
1. I encounter challenges
2. I am fearful and want to seek help and assurance
3. But I don't have anyone to turn to
4. So instead of finding qualified people to help solve my problems, I turn to porn people as a means of comfort and assurance.
5. I yank and get instant relief.
6. My problem is still not solved but I am oblivious to it because I am in refractory
7. Repetition leads to habitualization.


To solve this is to take correct approach:
1. Calm the fuck down
Identify the problem and clarify what's needed. Break it down.
2. Develop a plan
3. Execute the plan
4. Be proud of the execution
5. Accept the outcome.
Don't seek perfection.
Seek execution.

Be kind and gentle with myself.

I really do not need porn.
It really doesn't help solve my problems (financial calculations )
I will only pay if they provide tutoring and technical consultation services

It is strange I always focus on fear of failure.
It could have been easily rephrased as opportunity to learn new knowledge
One more skill in my head.

Attitude and perspective are so important.

Years of competitive schooling, poor results and pleasure indulgence messed me up bad.

I have no need to prove to others. Improvement for myself is all that matters from now till I die.


I am beginning to appreciate the journey more than the destination.
I like my life better this way.

 

[TakeActionNow]

Even though Kevin Samuels (RIP) videos are all about straightening out entitled modern women, the real hidden message is to men: work hard, make money, and have anything you want.

Don't ever waste time on
- Feeling sorry for yourself
- Playing the victim card
- Being lazy or entitled
- Being cheap and living off others

The universe only rewards those who make effort.
That is enough incentive and motivation and reason to drop all our baggages and focus on getting our act together and getting ahead in life.

Drinking and good time buddies will not help you.
Naked internet performers are of no help to us.
Sitting on our asses all day will not help you.
Doing aimless shit will not help you.

The only person that can help us is ourselves.

Stop thinking about outcomes.
Stop thinking about feelings.
Have a dream, a vision, a goal, a purpose. And make it happen by making it happen.

The world only takes care of the man who takes care of himself.
Not your mama
Not your partner
Not your sugarbaby.

Take care of ourselves.

 

[TakeActionNow]

It is strange I always focus on fear of failure.
It could have been easily rephrased as opportunity to learn new knowledge
One more skill in my head.

Attitude and perspective are so important.

Years of competitive schooling, poor results and pleasure indulgence messed me up bad.

I have no need to prove to others. Improvement for myself is all that matters from now till I die.


I am beginning to appreciate the journey more than the destination.
I like my life better this way.

I'm finally understanding what it means to focus on self improvement.

Women love it.
Men look up to other men who do it.
It is what it means to be a man.

Self improvement is about accumulation.
It is about not sitting on our asses, being lazy and entitled.
It is about going out and doing it and getting it, and be damn the consequences.
It is about having a dream and fulfilling it.

Be a people mover, never a people pleaser.


Dropping porn is like dropping a fucking boulder I've been carrying since my teens.
Along with the fucking porn boulder are a bunch of parasitic flawed beliefs and practices that have been fucking up my life alongside porn.

I don't look at porn anymore. It doesn't help me like ChatGPT can help me.
I don't consider stupid beliefs anymore. It just makes me look like a complete moron.
I don't look back to the past anymore. Who the fuck cares about yesterday.

Onwards to tomorrow!

 

[TakeActionNow]

I am still trying to work out the extent this affliction has influenced my attention seeking behaviors:
1. The type of people I seek to be with
2. The unconscious efforts I make to gain acceptance (even with my son)
3. The hidden desires I hope to gain through curry favor

I am ever watchful of the people around me and constantly adjust my behavior to one that suits my flawed beliefs.
This is very tiring, stressful and ultimately stupid.

Because of #1, the quality of my preferred partners are often less than ideal. If girls like bad boys, then I like bad girls.
This sucks because bad girls are... Bad.
This ultimately leads to my quality of life to become bad. Relationship is such that we cannot seperate skin from self. Fantastic packaging of a shitty product is still a shitty product. And that goes to us men too.


Again, Kevin Samuels (RIP) has revealed very clearly that a pretty face and a pretty body often hides a fucked up person with an entitled and fucked up mentality.

I must be dreaming that girls with fantastic features will all have fantastic personality. Just as having thousands of naked people on internet demand fucks ups a porn addict into believing he is above average, a pretty girl will be CONSTANTLY getting male attention and will believe she is entitled to more.

Life is never fair.

I'm gonna have to seriously stop #123, and focus on improving
A. Self
B. Self awareness
C. Self respect
D. Self worth

Unlike pretty girls, men were never born with inherent value. We MUST work to gain our value. A pretty useless girl can still be a mother and housewife but an unhardworking man is utterly useless.
It is this awareness that drives me now toward improvement. I am 100% doing this for myself now. Vice are all utterly useless to me.

People respect the guy who stands behind his beliefs, not the empty one who sucks up to them for spare change.

 

[TakeActionNow]

If you think scoring a pretty girl means you win big time, SORRY, you just fell into a carnivorous Venus flytrap.

Girls who score by virtue of their beauty has only 1 goal: score a man who will UPKEEP them.
They will only give in return for your time, money and patience, the opportunity (not right!) to fuck them. And many times they will even withhold that (friend zone, denial)

Do not be a dumb fuck who lives only for fucking or wanking ! You have fallen for their trap!

DO NOT BE A FLY THAT EVERYONE HATES.

BE A HARD WORKING BEE THAT EVERYONE LOVES AND ADMIRES.

Note: I am not a women hater. My addiction clearly shows that I LOVE women.

I am only stating 2 things:
1. devoting my life to attention seek, winning favors or scoring women is wrong and stupid.
I should be devoting my life to self improvement and good things will automatically fall on my lap.

2. Men and women have inherenty different purpose, worldview and life experiences.
There is no possibility of equality at all. We are different!
We were born for different purposes!
Do not apply male views on females!
They were born to attract the best mate to serve their function to procreate.
We were born to make efforts to BE(come) that best mate.

Woman's real work starts AFTER mating.

Real men's work is PERPETUAL from birth to death.

For women to work hard AND child bear is EXCESSIVE.

For men to be weak and needy is UNDESIRABLE.

That is why people ALWAYS look down on needy men and AVOID strong women. These are INSTINCTIVE!

I AM NOT A MISOGYNIST!

I AM ONLY REMINDING MEN TO TOUGHEN THE FUCK UP AND IMPROVE THEMSELVES!!!

 

[TakeActionNow]

More reasons porn is utterly useless :

1. Performers do not help me write reports or do financial calculations.

2. They are 100% Venus flytrap and I'll become a fucking fly

3. The nature of life demands that I be a real man.

4. There is glory and strength in saying NO

 

[TakeActionNow]

I just realized I've been sold a fantasy all these years.
The fantasy that
Beautiful women are available
I can have anybody I want
No wonder I'm fucked in reality cos that's 1000% false!

This is one of the better video where the conversation is more civil and the woman more intellectual.

While the dreamer was being schooled on their fantasy with facts and informed that they are clearly out of their league, I was being schooled the same.

Fuck what was I thinking?!?

Too bad for them cos once after 40 their opportunity to land a decent man is zero to none.

I on the other hand have a wife and a child. I am already 1000% better off. I MUST BE FUCKING GRATEFUL FOR MY INCREDIBLE LUCK!

I BETTER GET MY ASS OFF THE SOFA BEFORE I LOSE EVERYTHING TO A USELESS AND DEBILITATING WEAKNESS !

 

[TakeActionNow]

1. BE SERIOUS ABOUT MYSELF.

2. Focusing on Fear of Failure used to hold me back. Now I don't give a fuck about failure.

 

[Nico]

Kick ass self talk! Thanks, it gives me some needed kicks and tough love too

 

[Winnerwhoabstains]

Great motivating stuff! Keep up the good work.

 

[TakeActionNow]

Phase 1. Abstinence and eventual detachment of dependency for any type of reliance (seperation)

Phase 2 reconnect positively with emotion, environement and experiences (replacement)

Phase 3 reconnect with inner self; correction of flawed beliefs; self improvement (repair)


I have the following areas to report:

Phase 1.
a. Performers are baiting me like a Venus flytrap. Baiters get money and attention while Baitee's price is their life. It's a terrible exchange.
B. Performers offer nothing beneficial to my life unlike educational videos and informative books.

Phase 2
Instead of feeling I have a long way to go, I am stopping to smell the roses by reviewing the best moments of each day, such as my son sitting on my lap, lunch w an old friend, buying a birthday treat.

Phase 3
I am working out now how to change my flawed perspectives:
1. Things are easy and always possible. I need to think deeper and identify long term strategy
2. The truth and reality. I use to think that I'm ultra successful and all beautiful ppl desire me. Kevin Samuels woke that idea up, and the nature of men is to work hard for salvation. Time to wake up.

 

[TakeActionNow]

Kevin Samuels opened my eyes to the reality between the sexes.

This DW documentary opened my eyes to the reality of things and ideals we allow ourselves to buy into.

Basically
1. Someone (suffers) produces the goods
2. Someone (evil) creates the access
3. Someone (rider) markets and promotes the produce
4. Someone (sucker) buys it.

This formula is immediately reapplicable to the porn industry.
Easy access sells us a dream, fantasy about an ideal which is ultimately false, flawed and impossible.

They try to make us believe we're elevating our status, but hiding the fact that it's at the expense of other victims in the supply chain and it propagates our naivety.

They sell us the beauty but cover up all the ugly truths:

That gem sitting on your table symbolizing wealth and beauty is mined by poverty stricken minors in dangerous conditions.

Fifa world cup stadiums in Qatar lead to dead migrant construction laborers due to harsh working conditions.

Iphones have the sweat of Chinese factory workers under 996 conditions.

Many sex performers are forced or coerced into this industry. Most eventually become sex workers without hope of a happy family and live perpetually with stigma.

Even scam industries have evolved into cartel institutions where scamers are actually hostages kept in armed compounds and regularly beaten to meet scam quotas.

Whenever we subscribe to some beliefs, they better not be something that someone or ourselves made up to be believed as truth.

Our benefits should not cause others undue suffering.

The real victims are many, including ourselves. There is usually only very few victors, and all of them have only evil intentions.

When some things are too good to be true, they usually are.

 

[Blondie]

I like this @TakeActionNow. Mindless consumerism will kill us all, and alreadly has. It is all too human to focus on the façade and not the reality behind it. Thanks

 

[TakeActionNow]

Yes @Blondie , I felt porn created alot of delusional beliefs that overlapped into other aspects in life. So it's a relearning phase now for me to look at all things more holistically and don't jump into conclusion that just because porn is easy so too is life

It is much more important to make ourselves attractive than it is to find attractive people. Our lives will always be better when we invest in ourselves

 

[TakeActionNow]

Kevin Samuels gave a rare glimpse into the psychology of a group of self entitled black women.

I'm using it as test case to identify where my own logic is flawed.

And also to substantiate more reasons not to support the porn industry.

====

It's clear that they are severely deluded. 36 years old, 2 kids, horrible exes, short, obese, poorly employed and still believing that the only men deserving of them must make 500k a year.

Kevin has interesting comments:
1. Used car with 200k milage thinking they are equally attractive as brand new Mercedes
2. Subscribe into flawed social media encouraging them to aim well beyond their means and class whilest dumping whatever they have
3. Ignoring the fact that the group they believe they are entitled to is the highest 5% of society
4. Not recognizing the dynamics of the social class they are aiming at (they are NOT looking for 36yo w 2 kids divorcees)
5. Propagating flawed views to their friends AND their children.

===

Too bad for them.
But for me, I have to
1. evaluate what flawed and deluded views I have
2. What are the things I must do to make myself more attractive in general

 

[TakeActionNow]

Hard work, not the attention from others, is the foundation of personal success and satisfaction.

Aiming for the attention of others is putting the cart ahead of the horse. It is doomed.

The more I write this the more
1. I am reminded what is important
2. focused I am to working hard for my own attention and good

Everything I spend my time on going forward is for my success.

 

[TakeActionNow]

So addiction is about escapism, and recognizing this, I do find myself escaping alot.
Work
Wife
Responsibilities.

It not necessarily that I am irresponsible. Alot of times it's stress
Fear of failure
Fear of rejection
Fear of incompetence

Again due to being
too harsh with myself
too impractical about the situation
Jumping into negative conclusion
Having unrealistic expectations

The correct path should be:
Set realistic goals and expectations
Be disciplined about carrying it out
Recognize myself for every incremental accomplishments
Review the lesson and make it mine
Tell myself that the future will be better
Stop being negative seeking and be positive seeking.

Yes I used to be very problem seeking. What's wrong? It made me a very negative person.

Now I'll focus on effort.
I've done this that
I'll do this that
Good job.

 

[TakeActionNow]

Good reminder why reading and writing everyday helps.

Seperately,
I made an innocent mistake with a very sensitive but also important person today.
Totally unintentional. Tried apologizing but was ignored.

Afterwards my mind started racing. And I need to tell myself:
NO.
Stop.
Don't magnify.
Don't complicate.
Don't exaggerate.

Deal it at face value and moved on.
Be more careful next time.
Have better self and stress management.

Such is life. You're doing great and suddenly all's fucked up.
That's ok. That's just life.
Pick yourself up and move on.
Don't linger on the past.
Move on forward.

 

[TakeActionNow]

People are who they are.
I cannot change them.
I can accept them as they are.

When with them, just be calm, considerate, collected, secure, respectful.

 

[TakeActionNow]

An extension of the self centered problem created by addiction is that my initial repsonses still revolve around gaining pleasure or benefit for myself.

Instead, if I devote myself to a higher purpose, it would liberate me from focusing on myself all the time, and focus on how to achieve my higher goals better.

My higher purpose today is to provide the best life for my son.
So I need to
- study more on how to be a better father
- study on topics that would help my son more
- self improve and be better at work and career
- self care so I be healthier and live longer
- be a good example of values and behavior for him

These are higher purpose goals.
It will free me from myself and live more with purpose and direction.