My future is awesome!


Respected Member
Consumption leads to happiness and satiation when fulfilled, and cravings and depravation when not refiled.

Apply consumption only on healthy and beneficial activities.
Consume greens
Consume exercise
Consume sleep
Consume books
Consume healthy relationships

Don't consume any vice
Moderate oil sugar and salt
Don't consume excessive thrills or danger.
Our luck will soon run out and we'll crave and suffer


Respected Member
I admit I sneaked a couple of peeks lately, though to no event.
I sat at my balcony tonight and a huge wave of sadness hit me. I thought that I was a craving for love and attention that seductive staring photos seemed to deliver. And then I rationalized that that desire is irrational, because no one should love another more than themselves. And I looked at all the lite windows facing me, every single one of them housing at least one living being, and I realized that the love I desired most of all wasn't one that would come from another person, but that I was desiring love from myself.
And I know I have not been loving myself well for a very long time.
If I love my son so much that I would ask him to be strong and face his challenges, why then am I not asking the same for myself?
And I found that my sadness is a bottomless pit, and I realized the only way to freedom is to devote myself selflessly to a cause.

That cause used to be porn.
Now it needs to be something bigger and grander.


Respected Member
I know that we of the addictive sort are a passionate lot. Who else but us are silly enough to burn both sides of the candle just to feel more.
And yet, all that we need and more already reside within us. But we only looked outwards, to the sensational, the shocking and seductive to fulfill us. It is futile because all these are without substance.
I need to stop seeking, to turn inwards, and connect back with the one most important to me.
50% of the good everyday comes from things around me. A friendly gathering, an afternoon of exercise under the sun, a warm dinner.
But I know the other 50% of the good needs to come from within me. How am I doing. Proud of what I have done. Kindness to myself.

The world can end around me, but if I can continue to be kind towards myself, I can continue on. I need to continue on. I owe it to me to continue on.


Respected Member
I know when I snack late at night when everyone is asleep, it's not because I'm hungry, but rather it's a quick and nice way to comfort myself. Loneliness is what I am feeling.
I should go meditate whenever this happens.


Respected Member

There are many lessons that can be gained from this YouTube from Kevin Samuels (RIP)

It is not just about understanding the delusions of some women.
It is more about understanding our own situation in life.

1. Were we brought up with good and clear values?
2. Did we have good role models?
3. Do we know what is required in reality to meet our goals?
4. Are we aware of our real world limitations?

Some people believe for some reasons that they can get away with certain things. Just because we think it is, don't make it so. The people on the opposite side certainly doesn't think so. Having perspective from many sides helps balance beliefs out. The basis of a good life is always about effort and hard work.

People under the addiction influence often have huge gaps of understanding of reality. Good recovery requires study and correct awareness
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Respected Member
I was the hiring manager and interviewed many people for roles.
When we select and interview, we're essentially giving people a chance.
It's not easy to get hired but somehow many people don't make the best of their opportunity.
Many times they are nonchalant, desperate, arrogant or just not prepared. They are not a good fit. They don't instill any hiring confidence.

I learnt too that I need to give my best at my interviews. People are spending their time and I've been given an opportunity. To go in blindly is disrespectful towards all parties, including me.

Quitting addiction is also an ongoing interview with our future self. If we're nonchalant, insincere, not serious or ill prepared, we'll never get the job (done).

We must be of the attitude to win.
And to win needs preparation.
That's study, homework, practice and preparation
That builds confidence and clarity.

No one wants to hire someone ill prepared and unable to offer any benefits to the team. Don't leave doubts with the interviewer. Help them know they are making the best choice by choosing you.

Always offer and do more than what we've been asked of.
That's the open secret to success in life, and in combating addiction.

To ace an interview?
Study the company and interviewers.
Study the industry and challenges.
Study what you think the hiring manager is trying to solve and achieve.
Share a vision how you would solve some of the problems.
Share experience to substantiate your ability.
Be knowledgeable, thoughtful and determined.
People want go getters, not back seat passengers.

To ace addiction recovery?
Study yourself
Study your environment and challenges
Study what you are trying to solve and achieve.
Have a vision how you can tackle this challenge
Look into your experience where you overcome adversity
Be knowledgeable, thoughtful and determined.
Take the front seat of your recovery process.

Do you choose you?
If you do, then it's important to do everything necessary to make yourself your most satisfied client.
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Respected Member
Why cigarettes? Stimulant
Why alcohol? Depressant
Why drug? Euphoria
Why gambling? Surprise
Why food? Safety
Why porn? Attention and connection.

While addicts may be linked to a substance, it is the type of gaps in their lives that drew them in. So recovery is not merely abstinence, but addressing the gaps.

I am not inclined towards other forms of addiction because I do not have those root gaps the vice attempts to address.

However i do have issues with attention and connection.

I used to think it is an external matter, issues with attention and connection with others.
I now realize it is wholely an internal matter, issues with attention and connection with myself.

These few months I have given a lot of attention and connection to myself. I am now more self assured and complete. That is why so many of my past attachments I can let go of. That is why I no longer find digital imagery appealing. That is why physical stimulation is no longer a necessity.

The solution to a problem is not always the opposite. Finding and addressing the root matters.


Active Member
These few months I have given a lot of attention and connection to myself. I am now more self assured and complete.
Would you mind expanding on this? I think it may be really helpful to myself and others to hear about the steps you took to make this priority a reality.


Respected Member
@Jlied thanks for asking. Succinctly, it would be
1. stop using any vice as a means of avoidence and escape
2. Study alot
3. Blog and reflect alot of my experience and thoughts
4. Practice gratitude, consideration and kindness.

There is no fast path to this. You can see almost 50% of my posts here were made in 2022. They are mostly long and detailed, not all about sex or porn, but my life and thoughts in general.

You have to take an interest in yourself, and an interest to improve yourself.
It's not about securing external attention or worldly returns, but about inner enrichment.
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Respected Member
I suppose when our inner world is rich with color and diversity, there's little need for external stimulants.

Think about this.
Why are we attracted to beautiful women? Cos they are beautiful.
Why are they beautiful? Cos they took better care of themselves.
Why did they take better care of themselves? Because they understood the benefits and value that this care brings.

We abuse or deprecate ourselves when we don't understand or recognize the value we can bring to ourselves had we taken better care of ourselves.

We may think that association with these beautiful people would make us better too, but it does not. Only the individual can make themselves better.
So let go of false beliefs and dependencies and turn inward towards self reliance and improvement


Respected Member
The irony of Kevin Samuels, is that while his guests who consult him are probably exclusively females, his real audience are males and his message is for all men to wake up and stop idealizing "beautiful" women who are hollow inside and seek only to feed off men, which include all online women we have no real relationship with.
So wake up and stop wasting our precious time.


Respected Member
If I used to take sneak peeks to stimulate and feel good, what are my courrent sources of inspiration and dopamine drips?

Work timers
Family photos
Complete list
Self recognition list

Gotta set daily goals and check them off for accomplishment feelgoods!


Active Member
@TakeActionNow that is some pretty good stuff man, thanks for sharing.

I know I really struggle with understanding the value I have and what I bring to others. I constantly live thinking I’m just an ancillary piece in most peoples lives that most people put up with or could deal without. That is one area I need to really to make an intentional effort to fixing. I know those thoughts aren’t real and yet I allow them to hold such power over me.


Respected Member
The natural order of sexes is that males are hard and females are soft.

The male firmness gives females comfort in security while the female softness gives males comfort from the harsh environment and other hard males.

Modernity has warped this natural order.

Porn turned males soft. A soft male is unattractive to females. He doesn't provide them their needed firmness, and makes him alike other females, which is in fact competitive. Soft males are generally more dependent and vulnerable, making him a poorer choice for both parties.

Financial independence and security by uniform groups have also altered female roles, giving them the opportunity to become hard.
A hard female is unattractive to males, because they do not provide their needed softness. They also challenge other males, as they become like them and potentially take over their space and contest for other women.

Genetics doesn't care about modernity, religion, beliefs or opinion. It only cares about survivability and continuation of species regardless of environment. In that sense, male firmness and female softness will always be practical and attractive.

When I was under the influence, I became a soft male. I was insecure, dependent and unstable. I was practically speaking unattractive to both sexes. In the absense of my confidence, my wife became hard. She had to, when her partner cannot give her expected male hardness of strength and security. Everyone knows how hard it is to be around hard females. Don't blame them. There were forced by circumstance and don't like it too.

Outside of influence, I became firmer. I became more strong, assured and confident. I became more attractive. Under my firmness, my wife has also began to soften, as she became free to return to her traditional female form and role.

Our relationship improved. Our genetical order restored. Our mutual roles of hard and soft returned. Harmony and happiness prevail.

Do no be a porn masturbator.
It will literally fuck you up, make you weak, soft, and dependent, and turn you into a totally unattractive human being.

Embrace your male role.
Embrace hardness.
Embrace your cuts and wounds.
Do not weep for yourself.
Let the women weep for you.
In strength we are glorified.
In softness we are shamed.
We were never meant to live to a ripe old age. That is the burden of the female.
We were always meant to die in battle.

Be strong
Be firm
Be male
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Respected Member
There is a role I wanted badly but it requires a skill set I am not practiced on.

I didn't pass.
I am sad. Very sad.
But it is a healthy dose of reality.
I can handle it.
I will move on.
I will improve.
I just need a little alone time to heal.

Afterwards, I will restart my journey and continue on. Leave the last behind me.


Active Member
There is a role I wanted badly but it requires a skill set I am not practiced on.

I didn't pass.
I am sad. Very sad.
But it is a healthy dose of reality.
I can handle it.
I will move on.
I will improve.
I just need a little alone time to heal.

Afterwards, I will restart my journey and continue on. Leave the last behind me.
Really admire your mindset and not feeling sorry for yourself. Strive on!


Respected Member
Porn perpetuates a false sense of abundance.
Users think there is surplus in everything and fail to recognize the small and insignificant.

But life is mostly full of small and insignificants with an occasional mid and very rarely a large.

Consequently normal life is hard for users unused to the scarcity of notable events.

But in keeping away from porn, the small things in life gradually come into view. Its like coming into realization standing in an open field, that instead of always looking up towards the sole apple tree, you find a whole field of daisy in bloom beneath you've never took notice of.

And you learn, instead of gorging on apples making you sick, you'll now prefer to appreciate the daisy field making you happy.


Respected Member

Somehow in life we've learnt mostly only one way to look at things.
Win or lose
Have or have not
But even this one way has 2 sides.

Today I lost a role chance
However I gained a perspective and understanding of my limits.
I gained an acceptance that some roles weren't meant for me
(No matter how much I wished)
I gained an insight into myself that the best way to move forward is to let go quickly and get back on track.

The world is a big place and my position is not lost. I will continue on and my life will continue to improve