My future is awesome!

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I have done a good amount of work today.
I am closer to my goal.
I had a moment where I thought I can relax by old ways. But that's just old habits.

I tell myself I will practice new ways.
I will reflect on my achievements.
I will celebrate my success
I will affirm my contribution to tomorrow
My work today will lead to a good outcome tomorrow.
I will not shy away from my challenges.
In fact, I will be a champion because of the challenges I have been given.

I bask in my achievements.
I will come back again tomorrow to finish more what I've started.
I am happy for myself!

 

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Love this, if it were a location I would be the mayor of that town. I am the best over analyzer I know.

I hereby invite you out of that town and ask that you join me in the town of "do first talk later"
Let's go!

 

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I have a life long habit of avoiding and daydreaming away, be it through gaming or porning. The whole point was to avoid whatever it is I have to be involved in.
It could be rooted in disinterest or just fearing failure.

With some months of clarity now, I can see what the other successful people do: they are 100% involved with their life.

If I want to be a good father, I have to live, sleep and think about my child all the time.

If I want to be good at work, I have to live, sleep and think about how to get better at work all the time.

No, it's not about being a zombie. It's about having a deep interest in what I'm doing so that I can understand better and come up with more ideas and eureka moments that an avoidant personality absolutely will not have.

 

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Aside from air, water and food, an able person, and any abled living creature, will have within themselves, all that they need in life, including happiness and contentment.

Unless there is specific harm caused upon us by others, most cases of unhappiness is caused by ourselves.

 

[TakeActionNow]

I am continually shedding undesirable habits and beliefs since rebooting.

My life is getting simplier and clearer. There is less noise and distractions.
Everything seems better and more attainable. It's all just about getting involved fully. Nothing to avoid. Nothing to escape from. Everything is quite good actually.
By the way, even though I last MO early last Dec, it's easier to thinking of 1-1-2023 as the fresh start. So hurray it's 43 days today!

 

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Throughout porn we get whatever we want. That kind of life was obviously "easy". Real life thus became very challenging because it never turns out the way we wanted or expected. We can handle or adjust to it's ever changing and evolving states.
It's not because life isn't fair.
It's us who isn't fair.

Life is fairer now when we accept and recieve whatever life presents.
It wasn't life that's harder before.
It was our attachments and entitlements that made it harder.

 

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COMMITMENT

that is the true source of happiness.

Without commitment we cannot hope to overcome challenges and adversity.

Without commitment there will be no fruits of labor.

Without commitment, there will be no self reflection, not consideration, no correction and not continuation.

Commitment is where dreams become reality.

There is no commitment in porn.
Not when any performers can be picked and dropped at whelm.
Not when everything can be had with no effort or cost
Without commitment there will be no reward.

 

[TakeActionNow]

 

[TakeActionNow]

There is no easy way to stop something other than, stopping completely.

Urges arise due to discomfort, and seeking to alleviate that.
But discomfort is a concept of the mind caught in the present unable to see the future.

Commitment and embracing discomfort is the root to relief. This is the reality. Don't desire for anything else.
Desire to commit to my goal.
Goal and commitment above all else.
Give myself to the commitment.
Free myself from escape and avoidance.

 

[TakeActionNow]

If you take the entire universe and grind it down to the smallest particle, you will not find anything dedicated to yes or no.

That means everything that could happen is purely up to ourselves.

So don't blame anyone.
Don't say it's impossible.
Nothing in this universe is resisting our success. Go get it!

 

[TakeActionNow]

Old habits do die hard.
Which means we need to make extra effort for new habits to take hold.

Journalling is a good habit of reminder how much we have achieved today for the benefit of tomorrow.

Today's topic is food.

I had food poisoning yesterday and kept off all food till afternoon today. I'm surprised I managed for so long, having only a big bottle of water to keep me going.

Aside from intimacy, food is my other quick fix for feel good. I suppose I still have some legacy instant gratification behaviors. I'm still not used to having a longer term mindset. So it requires some training and thinking process.

For my work today I remind myself
1. Don't think. Just do.
2. What I do today helps my tomorrow
3. The now is always filled with discomfort. But tomorrow will always be better.

 

[TakeActionNow]

I am bored because I am still avoiding.

If I was not avoiding I'd discover that I still have a lot to do.
It's a vicious cycle

Avoid - bored - surf/game - pile up - failure - more avoidance.

The answer is very simple:
Stop thinking, go back to do what I committed to doing.
Only then will I get results.
Only then will I become more proud of myself
Only then will things keep on getting better.

Focus
Engage
Embrace
Commit

 

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PERSPECTIVE

we are all capable of huge success.

Consider even our decades of determined search and recovery of p material as a form of focus and achievement.

However, others have a different subject for their focus.
They spend their time with a focus on improving themselves, their technique and standing.
They spend their time thinking, plotting, preparing for their goal, be it a higher rank, a greater role or even their very own company.

We all have it in us to become successful. The only question is, what defines success?
Family, wealth and ownership or
Daily yanks, stacks of DVDs and knowledge that cannot be shared?

 

[TakeActionNow]

Everyday is actually very easy when our mode of pleasure is to be able to look back and be glad we did all that we've set out to do.

Bodily pleasures have nothing to do with goal efforts. There is no good reason to connect relationship highs with work done. Connecting then only confuses the mind to association two completely disassociated activities together.

Daily effort is meant for personal improvement
Bodily pleasures are meant for relationship improvement.
They are independent and different.

Don't lump everything together.

Work hard and recognize the work as its own achievement and pleasure.

If it is relationship pleasure that is to be desired, then aet time aside for that and build relationships.

Relationship are seperate from work

 

[TakeActionNow]

I am telling myself this because I am reminding myself to see things clearly and not
1. Lump disassociated things together
2. Be unrealistic or impractical when considering things

Improvement in life considers only 2 things:
1. Have necessary skill sets
2. Work hard hard hard

There are no short cuts, no free lunch, no handouts.

You are only offered more when you are recognized to have more of something special than others.

This is real pleasure:
Achieving more than others
Accumulating more than others
Doing more than others.

 

[TakeActionNow]

Discomfort is not necessarily a bad thing.
It might even be an erroneous thing.
If it arose from flawed judgement or expectations, then it is unnecessary, and relief from false premise discomfort are also unnecessary.

So don't jump into conclusion you need comfort seeking.

There is no need for comfort when the precursers were correct and actions required necessary.

I made a mistake earlier.
I had to travel 2 hours to rectify it.
It was troublesome but necessary.
Was it a discomfort? No. It was necessary. And doing it I feel better already.
Focus on the action and effort.
Don't create so many ideas in the head.

 

[TakeActionNow]

A hot meal after a long day is the best form of pleasure as I enjoy it while contemplating all the good I have done today

 

[TakeActionNow]

Never thought discomfort training can be done through intermittent fasting.

It's a minor inconvenience but with practice, it improves enduring discomfort, just like long runs do.

I can last until 3 to 6pm without anything since last night. Lots of water is necessary though.

 

[TakeActionNow]

Reading @Ezel's blog make me think about life, love and appreciation.
Appreciation = non attachment
Non attachment = letting go.
Letting go = able to receive all

Thats life. Life has no certainty, no absolutes. To seek permanence is to be unrealistic. Porn teaches us collection and absolutes. Performers are collected and abused. We learnt objectification. We want certainty. People we meet are transformed into objects.

With much distance from porn, and the stoppage of using others as a means to please myself, I was also letting go of attachment.
And being free of attachment allowed me to really begin appreciation.

Appreciation is like the wow feeling in the zoo seeing a giant beast up close. The moment of contact is 100%. Upon leaving we let go of the moment and move on. We don't abuse the memory for any self sensations. we are free to experience a whole lot more.

If we cling on, we become frozen in time. If we are frozen, we are effectively left behind. In left behind, we stop experiencing. We effectively died.

So to live is to let go.
To love is to let go.
And to live and love fully is to simply appreciate.

And so without attachments and abuse, I can finally appreciate. And in appreciation finally I experience freedom.

 

[TakeActionNow]

There are 3 big benefits from not being externally pleasure dependent

1. Life becomes more simple, stable and secure

2. One learns to derive all pleasure from personal activities and achievements.

3. It becomes easier to root oneself on values instead of constantly weighing cravings and interests.


#2 is becoming bigger for me. More and more I do things with an intent of being able to look back and be proud of myself. Harder and less appealing activities become easier to accept and deal with. Activities are longer term in nature. This also supports #3 where my activities are rooted in my values. Together I support myself better and am more self assured.
And with this I become less and less interested in social endeavours, preferring instead on personal endeavours.
I used to seek external endorsements. Now I dont need any.

I am becoming more independent, and I can get pleasure through my activities all the time.
I am now living with purpose.