Quit cold turkey or gradually?
- Thread starter martin
- Start date
The best option is the one that gets you off porn forever. Personally I think the idea of a gradual approach is often misleading. I've been working on recovery for over 2 and half years, and in that time have gone long stretches without PMO followed by long stretches of relapse. I've also gone back and forth at times. But the two most important lessons I've learned are that you have to treat failure as necessary and learn from it, and also that your mental approach is the key to being successful. Now that I've finally recognized and accepted that PMO does absolutely nothing good for me, and that the withdrawals are caused by the drug (PMO) not quitting the drug (as in you can't have withdrawals if you don't use drugs) I'm in a much better head space to reboot than when my mentality was more along the lines of willing myself to make it 90 days and hoping everything would be great afterwards.
Basically, reboot is a long process. I would say try one option and see how it works and then try the other. Experiment, make mistakes, and learn from them.
Basically, reboot is a long process. I would say try one option and see how it works and then try the other. Experiment, make mistakes, and learn from them.
I don't know anyone who quit porn gradually and succeeded. So, the question isn't which method to use; the question is whether you want to succeed or not. I agree that you need to view a relapse as a setback, not a failure. But you won't succeed if you have it in your mind that you're going to intentionally use porn at some point in the future. That is what I mean by quitting cold turkey.
W
William
Guest
No such thing as "quitting gradually." That is still using, just a bit less, and using, even a bit less, leads back to using about as much as before. This is called an "addiction" for a reason. No one can continue to use, and get clean. So, the reboot has to be going totally clean. That sucks by the way, totally sucks. For me it felt like dying. But, I told myself, if quitting the addiction results in me dying, I am dying. It won't kill you, though. Promise.
Another reason why it is not possible to quit gradually is that you can not taper off porn like it is done during benzo withdrawal for example. While you can gradually reduce the dosage of a drug, you can not reduce the dosage of porn. Yes you can reduce the frequency of PMO but you would have to watch the same video again and again. If you watch different videos you have novelty which causes more dopamine release -> Bad. Even if you watch the same video porn stays an unnatural reward, which can release more dopamine than sex. The only possible thing would be reintroducing masturbation without porn or p-fantasy. But first the brain needs some time off.
Pr3c1se
Well-Known Member
Gradually doesn't exist.... Gradually isn't an option.
Cold Turkey is the only option. You need to just remove it from your life.
You can't "quit smoking" by smoking less.... you quit by quitting.
"Gradually" is just an excuse in hopes there is possibly an "easy way out".
Cold Turkey is the only option. You need to just remove it from your life.
You can't "quit smoking" by smoking less.... you quit by quitting.
"Gradually" is just an excuse in hopes there is possibly an "easy way out".