The importance of a "hot female body" for "good sex"

[olafthewise]

To Lilred,
                I see your frustration. I see and I note your observational conclusions of most men. Here are the unfortunate facts; men are visual creatures and there is something to be said about unlimited internet nudity for a young teen. I have been there. The availability of constant, numerous nude pics of beautiful women is very much like heroin. Some here would say it is exactly like heroin. "Once you take a hit you are hooked." The science of porn on a mans brain, or male teenager, is very specific. 3 or 4 things going on at once; dopamine---too much, too often, no breaks, no morality, no realism, etc. Lilred, I have learned that as much as I have found a way to reduce my porn use by 90%, I cannot transfer this knowledge to others. people have different bodies, brains, backgrounds, etc. I simply cannot help anyone unless they listen to my logic here and practice what I am telling them.
Telling guys that looking at nude teen girls is sick, does not motivate them for anything. I agree with you that some older guys would give a pretty teen girl anything, cash, gifts, etc, without her ever having to have sex with him. Some guys are just lonely and willing to spend money for non-sex companionship.
Reality is that most guys have no idea as to what is going on in their brain during porn viewing. They like it and succumb to its vises, as slaves in our modern world, willing to pay to stay entertained from porn and just like in the movie "the Matrix," they stay plugged in, unable to disconnect and be free.
This is reality. You can't save them all. Try to save as many as you can.

 

[fras]

i think you learn many things..........and you understand lots of things.............

 

[aquarius25]

I think this thread is quite interesting to read. Lots of perspectives! I understand the concepts of men being providers and women being caretakers at a primal level. I will even admit that I feel that in myself, a natural urge to nurture others and one of the things I am attracted to in my husband is what a hard worker he is. I do think its a problem that our society is feminizing men to some degree. I see it in ads and movie previews and things. Women are starting to do and play more of the provider roles for sure! I am one of them. I started a company and now my husband and I work together in it. I weld/ fabricate right along side him. I even taught him to weld! I split wood myself to heat the house or we do it together. I even do powerlifting. I have had men tell me I should go back to the kitchen (I feel like I never left the kitchen, lol, cause I cook too). SO I see and understand people saying women are doing more but I don't know if I believe it either. I go back and forth on this.  100 yrs ago women still chopped wood. They still did all the things I am doing now, they just didn't get attention for it. When men tell me about their threatened masculinity that tells me they have conviction and maybe they should put that work in themselves instead of putting it on me.

A few years back I got cancer. I didn't look as great as I do now. My husband loved me everyday just as much as he does now. I truly believe that is the difference between infatuation and real love. Love is deeper than superficial, surface layer attraction. Love is created through experience together. Its through life happening. What I would say to the original poster is to focus on the history in your marriage. Think back to the times you have shared. Why would you want to focus on her flaws when she has walk beside you and shared her life with you? Its just sad. When your superficial you loose. I could see a super "hot" guy and if his noes is weird he could be butt ugly to me no matter how many muscles he has. Looks are so tricky and a rabbit hole that marriage has no room for. Everyone looses when you just focus on looks. Try to see more. It sure would be sad if she treated you with the same critical eye that your are putting on her. We all have flaws, including all of us!

 

[olafthewise]

Facts, facts everything on facts.
Fact: we all are here to justify or explain our porn habits that need to stop. Any other "thing" is fluff and not relevant.
However,
fact: my wife is over 50.
Fact: my feelings/opinion of her body are different than her own opinions of her body (or mine). Ok?
Fact: In bed at night, I am not interested in her unless she is nude. She has surprisingly discovered this. If she wants my attention, it will have to involve a little more nudity. Its just me. Facts about me, my feelings, my situation, etc.
Any porn relapse I may have (very few these days) needs to stay at the most minimum. This is MY struggle not hers. My opinion about her will change if I view porn. This is also a fact for me. therefore, the last fact;
porn is bad for everything.

carry on my friend.

 

[Pridezero]

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