Here goes nothing...

WOTW

Member
Hey everyone...  I have been a porn addict for a long time.  I've owned a computer since I was young (6 or so), and found porn when I was around 12.  I stopped for a number of years and relapsed when I turned 16 (around there).  I have a girlfriend that I've been with for 4 1/2 years and she has no idea how bad my addiction is.  I currently am on day 3 without, and it feels great.  I have tried every little trick and shortcut to quitting, and I decided this site was just what I needed for some accountability.

Did I use porn today? - No, although the day is young I don't think that I will.

What were my triggers? - I haven't had any yet today.  My usual trigger is being alone with my computer or phone nearby.  Luckily my girlfriend doesn't work tonight, so I won't be alone, so I won't have the chance to.

How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? - I'm in nursing school so I have an insane amount of homework and tests to do.  This leads to a lot  of stress that I usually eliminate with porn.  I have been running the last 3 days as a start to a healthier me and this seems to be helping a lot.

What am I grateful for today? - I am grateful that I discovered this site to help keep me accountable!  I'm also grateful that it is nearly the weekend and I get to spend some time outside.

Day counter! - Day 3 and counting!
 

jtgeorge

Member
WOTW said:
Hey everyone...  I have been a porn addict for a long time.  I've owned a computer since I was young (6 or so), and found porn when I was around 12.  I stopped for a number of years and relapsed when I turned 16 (around there).  I have a girlfriend that I've been with for 4 1/2 years and she has no idea how bad my addiction is.  I currently am on day 3 without, and it feels great.  I have tried every little trick and shortcut to quitting, and I decided this site was just what I needed for some accountability.

Did I use porn today? - No, although the day is young I don't think that I will.

What were my triggers? - I haven't had any yet today.  My usual trigger is being alone with my computer or phone nearby.  Luckily my girlfriend doesn't work tonight, so I won't be alone, so I won't have the chance to.

How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? - I'm in nursing school so I have an insane amount of homework and tests to do.  This leads to a lot  of stress that I usually eliminate with porn.  I have been running the last 3 days as a start to a healthier me and this seems to be helping a lot.

What am I grateful for today? - I am grateful that I discovered this site to help keep me accountable!  I'm also grateful that it is nearly the weekend and I get to spend some time outside.

Day counter! - Day 3 and counting!

Hey man, welcome to the community! I'm new here too and I have to say it's nice knowing that you're not the only one going through this issue. Honestly a lot of your story sounds similar to my own, including the age you started PMO at and the fact that feel like you've tried every trick in the book. I don't really have any sage wisdom to share with you at this point, other than to say we're all in this together, and hopefully the accountability that this forum provides will give us the extra boost we all need.

Keep going strong, and keep us posted with your progress.
 

WOTW

Member
Well, I made it through yesterday, and I had no urge to look at P!

I did, however, get some other, very strong urges.  When I was around 14 I started stealing thongs from Walmart as part of my PMO.  I was very good at it for about 6 months.  I'd M&O with one to P, then throw it away, then go get another the next time I was in the store.  I got caught after about 6 months.  Banned from Walmart until I was 18.

After that, I would occasionally steal thongs from my friends sisters when I was at their houses.

Now, at an apartment complex, I would get this extreme urge to go through the laundry and take thongs.  I did a few times, and always returned them after PMO. 

The other horrible part of my PMO, is voyeurism.  It was my favorite P to M&O to.  That is what got me yesterday.  I saw a couple girls at school in short skirts and wanted to film under them so badly.  I just did some deep breathing and walked away.  Even talking about it right now I'm getting hard.  This is the worst part of my addiction because I know that if I actually did that, and was caught, I would end up in huge amounts of legal trouble.

Oh well.  I'm onto day 4, and I'm feeling great!
 

dwenjang1218

Active Member
bro I'm glad you have found this site and are willing to change.
It must be tough to open yourself up like this,
but thank you for sharing.

We all know that it's not an easy journey, but I wish you the very best
in getting rid of these addictions once and for all.
 

WOTW

Member
Day five and I'm struggling.  Girl keeps shooting me down today and I really want the O. 

Hardest part is that I have to be on the computer all day for homework and she is going to work all day... 
 

WOTW

Member
Pulse rate is up, stress levels are up, I'm in a total brain fog, my head is throbbing... 

Withdrawl sucks!
 

WOTW

Member
Well, I relapsed yesterday.  I was trying to do homework and couldn't think at all.  I got out of the house and went grocery shopping but that made it worse seeing women in skirts. 

As soon as I PMOed, the fog cleared, and I powered through an insane amount of homework. 

This really scares me because I am constantly stuck with this large of an amount of homework/studying and I don't know if I can keep up if I always have this brain fog.
 

dwenjang1218

Active Member
WOTW said:
As soon as I PMOed, the fog cleared, and I powered through an insane amount of homework. 

Reading this reminded me so much of my student life.
All this stress from schoolwork always drove me insane
and I thought the only way to vent this out was via PMO.
That was before I realized I was addicted to porn.

Try again, bro,
let's put our heads together to find a solution that's right for you.
 

WOTW

Member
Waddup all!  So my life has changed amazingly in the last month an a half.  I made friends with someone in my nursing program that has changed my life.  I never could open up to my girlfriend about my addiction, so I had no accountability.  This new friend of mine and I just clicked, so I told her.  Today is day 31!  I am thinking much clearer and it is very rare that I get urges anymore.  It helps that I very rarely am exposed to my trigger anymore which is being home alone.  I often am with her or my girlfriend so it really helps.  She also talks me down through text while having urges.  All I can say, is get a friend, open up to them, and make them your accountability partner.  LIFECHANGING!!!!
 
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