sunshine_rec0rder
Member
I've decided to start a new journal documenting my recovery process as I have learnt a tremendous amount since the last time I used this website.
I first recognised that I have a pornography addiction in November of 2015. I was extremely naive back then regarding the severity of my problem. I thought it would be easy to go 90+ days without porn and be recovered in no time. How little I knew.
Since then I have learnt a lot about the root of my addiction, patterns in my compulsive behaviour, behaviours that lead up to acting out, and strategies to recover. For years I never recognised how much a part of my life my pornography addiction is. I was so naive to think recovery was just a matter of staying away from porn. My recovery requires much more. It requires taking an honest look at my life, my past, the discomfort in my life, and who I truly want to be. It requires planning, building strategies, and time for reflection. In other words it requires a lot of thought and effort to fill my life with positive activities.
Yesterday, as a way of 'securing my home base', as they say in the Fortify program, I have installed web protection software on my computer and phone. I used a random password generator and purposely didn't write it down. I then sent the password in an email to my future self using futureme.org. This is just one line of defense in battling my addiction, but I feel that it marks a significant moment.
Since November 2015 my use of pornography has drastically reduced which I ought to recognise as progress. But it's time to completely walk away and leave it in the past. I already keep a private recovery journal as part of the Fortify program but I will have completed that program in 6 more weeks. I am going to maintain this journal for longer and see where the recovery process takes me.
It's the 14th of August, 2017, I am a recovering pornography addict and I am checking in.
I first recognised that I have a pornography addiction in November of 2015. I was extremely naive back then regarding the severity of my problem. I thought it would be easy to go 90+ days without porn and be recovered in no time. How little I knew.
Since then I have learnt a lot about the root of my addiction, patterns in my compulsive behaviour, behaviours that lead up to acting out, and strategies to recover. For years I never recognised how much a part of my life my pornography addiction is. I was so naive to think recovery was just a matter of staying away from porn. My recovery requires much more. It requires taking an honest look at my life, my past, the discomfort in my life, and who I truly want to be. It requires planning, building strategies, and time for reflection. In other words it requires a lot of thought and effort to fill my life with positive activities.
Yesterday, as a way of 'securing my home base', as they say in the Fortify program, I have installed web protection software on my computer and phone. I used a random password generator and purposely didn't write it down. I then sent the password in an email to my future self using futureme.org. This is just one line of defense in battling my addiction, but I feel that it marks a significant moment.
Since November 2015 my use of pornography has drastically reduced which I ought to recognise as progress. But it's time to completely walk away and leave it in the past. I already keep a private recovery journal as part of the Fortify program but I will have completed that program in 6 more weeks. I am going to maintain this journal for longer and see where the recovery process takes me.
It's the 14th of August, 2017, I am a recovering pornography addict and I am checking in.