Thanks Raven for the encouragement. Holidays are tough sometimes.
Our 14 year wedding anniversary is on Sunday. We aren't really doing anything for several reasons. One is a bunch of our customers in our business have decided not to pay so money is a bit tight but we are making it work. So going out to a nice dinner doesn't seem wise considering we are about to go on a three-week vacation, lol. Also Saturday we are celebrating my son's birthday. He turns 10. So we are putting more of our attention into him. Overall I am fine with this. My anxiety about everything is high enough that adding an anniversary celebration of our marriage just doesn't feel fun right now, lol.
It's been a rough year but we have managed to come out of it and are still here. The other business owner, the one who owns the building we rent in, has made working at our shop less than pleasant. I have found myself trying to do as much work as I can from home. I am seeing now as I do end of year reports that my lack of being present at the shop has hurt our bottom line a bit. I am, however, touched that my husband didn't complain or anything. He just understood and said that I should do whatever I am comfortable with. He has been pulling the extra load and allowing me to just get space when I need it. I think when we get back from visiting family I will need to step up and deal with it but I am thankful for this rest period. The owner of the building really is a huge ass. He talks horribly to his wife, his kids are a nightmare and total brats, and he is not only a raging alcoholic who have shakes every morning but also a porn addict who doesn't think there is anything wrong with porn. He tries to be nice and he really just doesn't get it. Unfortunately, he suffers from being completely stupid and lacking actual intelligent thought, lol. We usually keep to our side and don't mix much but sometimes just being there is upsetting and I don't like my kids to see his kids be allowed to speak one way when they aren't allowed to. Thankfully my husband has been looking for a new shop location. We will probably have to stay there for another year but we are looking. I appreciate that not only does my husband want to support me but he also realizes that he doesn't want that atmosphere for himself either. That is so huge.
As far as travelling home for the holidays. I am trying to focus on the people I am looking forward to seeing. I know there will be triggers but I am practising meditation and mindfulness. Interesting how my recovery and my husbands uses a lot of the same things, lol.