Hey Hey we are entering day 34 been doing good on the workout in the gym eating better and no urges at all i'm quite surprised by this getting morning wood on and off which has always been normal for me gonna go take on some world today
And were entering Day 35 its odd as its almost too easy I'm hoping that all of a sudden I dont get to a point where wham you get blindsided I suppose it helps I'm keeping really busy I have seen a few "provocative" imaged and just ensured that I could surf away from them Nothing outright nude and no video
They really had no effect on me (although my wife def does) which I suppose is good I will keep posting my thoughts and observaions and reading your
i'm reading and responding to a few posts should be an easy day i think as the kids are off school and home today Small challenge will be tonight as its friday and weekend nights were quite often a problem and wife is feeling a bit under the weather so I dont think I'll be chasing her around too much let you all know how it goes later
As an experienced relapser, I see something in your journal that would set off red lights for me. For me ?provocative images? are porn subs, and once I step on them, it?s just a matter of time before I?m slipping and sliding. Just sayin.
about to start day 38 been lucky Ive had so much to do Ive been able to keep both my mind and hands busy and totally away from porn I believe this might be the longest Ive ever gone and it feels good So much to learn and so much encouragement here
And its day 39 I.m thinking this might be an easy day as wifey and I had a great romp last night (and I never really experienced the chaser effect) But today I have a few appointments with the dentist for the kids so that will easily keep me out of the house Having done alot of reading Ive come to the conclusion my addiction isnt as strong as some are experiencing to which I consider myself somewhat lucky. I have to say to myself I should have admitted to myself this was a problem years ago but was really too lazy to actually do something more productive with myself. Now that seems to be changing however slow it is I think reading others stories has also opened my eyes to how bad the problem is becoming and the negative effects it is causing
Thanks for following Seneca how is your battle going
Gonna take some time now and read a few journals keep my mind where it belongs
Finishing day 40 and I dont think ive felt this good in years def no side effects that i notice Wife can strip down in front of me and it doesn't take long to show her my approval going on a mini vacation for 3 days so that should make the next 3 pretty easy
Back from Vacation and just finishing day 45 I know the counting day by day might seek mundane but it does help me by knowing I'm getting to the finsh line in a series of small marathons I do enjoy reading other journals even if I dont respond or add a post to it It helps me understand some of the issues a bit better and keeps my mind a bit more focused. I can now say I am at he 50% mark or the recommended reboot period I am waiting patiently for that day so I can begin the next step in my healing I'm already doing a little reading on it but not too much as to take it in now and forget it and try to take it in again in 6 weeks or so So much of my reading is on general improvement in my health and wellbeing
Day 47 starting to get hard to keep track thats probably a good thing not having any urges at all and been keeping quite busy I will dmit I did m once now on the 5th but I think a side effect to no pmo is your fella gets bigger and I sort of wanted to confirm it but I only had to think of my wife for it to get hard no thoughts at all of p before during or after At this point I dont ever see myself going back to P and I'm not worrying about how to fill the void of not using
Its Day 52 not much to report still staying clean without urges lots of morning wood(and I swear the thing looks bigger) Havent been out on the gym much but will get back into it this week
Day 56 and moving right along sometimes have a habit of thinking about my wife as much as I can to make myself hard just to see if I'm flat lining sometimes it seems to take some effort but seems to successful Never a problem when she is in the mood and we get i on She still has no idea I had this problem and I'm fighting it and winning She new I surfed porn but not to the extent i was. I think I'll keep it that way They say the truth shall set you free but in this case when I win the battle it will be one that I chose not to remember anything more than it was a battle in an old life I will not be reminicing about in my older years It was a battle I allowed to happen not one pushed on me that deserved some glory and remembrance. And not telling her for now will make it easier for me to leave it in the past without any other entanglements I believe the reason I can do it this way ids I'm also working on any other issues that may have brought me to use porn in the 1st place With those resolved my life will have meaning and better things to think about making me happy and fulfilled. Each day feeling ever so slightly stronger Down 10 lbs since Jan 1st all is good
Yes,jp, she does not need to know. Transparency is actually bullshit. Why do so many men think they can?t carry their own burdens? Share the shit here. Youve got the right idea.
Yes Seneca I so agree Carry your burden until you cant than ask for help. The further in I get the easier it gets Now also down 12 lbs in the same time period I always checked out my wife whenever I could (which she loved) but now I'm doing it even more and she still loves it. I think she knows there is some small change in me but has no idea what maybe she thinks it's because she is also really working hard to get into shape(with noticeable results) So basically she has became my new sub Hope all your battles are going well
Day 62 finished not much to report other than feeling pretty good starting to think about new oppertunities I would never have looked at before Its possible its too early but something to consider
Very interesting. Your wife doesn?t know about your change? That?s awesome. I?m sure she senses your new confidence. Was she aware that you had a problem?