quit for good

joepanic

Respected Member
Day 23 clean Never felt better

i think the weekend was just what I needed. I'm in a bit of the doldrums as I have been here before and this time I am hoping it really is a bit different and will be the one. The kids are all away for this week too so lots of free time with the wife. So i think I'll go chase her around for a while

Cheers

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joepanic

Respected Member
Day 24 clean feel even better

Chased around the wife last night and yep I caught her. I'll leave out any further details on that one :cool:

Anyways think its time to listen to some tunes and have a beer

Cheers

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joepanic

Respected Member
Day 25 quite tired tonight Had my 1st mo in quite some time in the shower trying to mainly think about my wife for that one

Think I'll catch some tunes and jump into bed

Cheers

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joepanic

Respected Member
Day 26 2 days short of 4 weeks

What is it with some women I have been married just short of 15 years. and together for almost 18 years and the further in we go the more frustrating some things can be On occasion I ask my wife about wearing a little lingerie We have built up quite the collection in the last 17 years. But it seems as time goes by she is less willing to put any on when I ask her. Now this in itself is not such a problem but the reasoning behind it is. The stock excuse is when we don't have kids in the house (not meaning when they have all moved out but when they are away at camp or Grandma and grandpas etc) But as soon as the house is empty and i ask I get grumbles. if i than say well perhaps its time to just get rid of it or store it away in the hope chest or something she gets upset.. Again I suppose i am touching on her control issues. Do women like hanging candy in front of your face? or is it just mine that does. If she doesnt want to wear it than fine I will live with it but at least give a fair reason. It was things like that that always drove me to porn to relieve my frustration.

Cheers

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GrateClips

Active Member
Day 26 2 days short of 4 weeks

What is it with some women I have been married just short of 15 years. and together for almost 18 years and the further in we go the more frustrating some things can be On occasion I ask my wife about wearing a little lingerie We have built up quite the collection in the last 17 years. But it seems as time goes by she is less willing to put any on when I ask her. Now this in itself is not such a problem but the reasoning behind it is. The stock excuse is when we don't have kids in the house (not meaning when they have all moved out but when they are away at camp or Grandma and grandpas etc) But as soon as the house is empty and i ask I get grumbles. if i than say well perhaps its time to just get rid of it or store it away in the hope chest or something she gets upset.. Again I suppose i am touching on her control issues. Do women like hanging candy in front of your face? or is it just mine that does. If she doesnt want to wear it than fine I will live with it but at least give a fair reason. It was things like that that always drove me to porn to relieve my frustration.

Cheers

Post often it helps me it helps you

it’s her choice and if she’s not feeling it then asking her is not going to get you where you want. Or if it’s not her style to do so anymore

yes frustrating but not anything I would push her on
 

joepanic

Respected Member
it’s her choice and if she’s not feeling it then asking her is not going to get you where you want. Or if it’s not her style to do so anymore

yes frustrating but not anything I would push her on
Actually I think it's the lack of a fair answer that bothers me Its called communication
 

joepanic

Respected Member
Day 28 was last night Was out having a campfire with a few friends had a few beers and forgot to pop on here. All is well After the fire and 5 tall cans and being 2 am normally would have been prime time for me to hit the screen but not even a thought of it good progress there for sure

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joepanic

Respected Member
Day 29 Had a nice day visiting family time to kick back for a beer and some tunes

cheers

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joepanic

Respected Member
Day 30 1/3 of recommended reboot time

Made mad love with the wife last night. Was kind of nice I didn't have to initiate. Spent the day at the beach with the wife and kids today picnic lunch so on. 1st time in probably 3 years due to that #$%$#@% virus. Again so many ladies on the beach and a year ago I might be downstairs at my computer at the moment doing well you know. But it feels different this time. I don't quite know the reason. Perhaps its just time and my brain is telling me so. perhaps its we have so much more to think about these days. Inflation really eating into our spending power along with added expenses. 2 daughters graduated this year(prom dresses) 1 spending a summer overseas. I would like to think its the 1st reason but I have a feeling its the 2nd. But whatever the reason I'm heading in the right direction.

On another note as much as I am not self medicating my stress with porn, I am self medicating it with food especially at work. This is having 2 negative effects on me 1 it costs too much and too its adding to my waistline. Not sure i'll be able to do anything about that in the short term. I think its going to be some time before I can work through the reasons for my increased stress level as the reasons for it our somewhat "complicated"

I see it's rather quiet on my journal these days guess i haven't gotten under anyone's skin......

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joepanic

Respected Member
Day 31 all's well A quiet evening of watching the tube and having s cold beer

cheers

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joepanic

Respected Member
Lets make that 32 days clean

Thanks for tuning in GBS Again we have taken a hit to our finances as the ac unit in one of our investment properties went for a dump. Looking at $3300 to repair it or maybe $5000 for a new one either way its a hard pill to swallow at the moment. Normally something like this would have made me throw my arms up and head for the computer and drown it all out with some porn. Not this time though I am going to go down and watch some Star Trek.

Cheers

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Simon2

Well-Known Member
Star Trek. That's a great way to deal with unfortunate surprises! I had to replace the transmission on my car just when I joined up here. Same situation - might have gone straight to P before - but this time I didn't do it.

I hope next you get some good news! :)
 

joepanic

Respected Member
Day 33 tough day on the job weather wise, hot humid sticky and very irritating and than i had to go and mow the lawn at my apartment building I had a few beers with my one tenant who likes to dress in tight tops showing her cleavage. I made sure not to pay too much attention to that fact. In the meantime it is a fac t of life we addicts mut be able to deal with. I simply can not just stop living life because I am an x porn addict. That is the reason I sat in the garden and had a few beers. On a final note again something like this might have led me to head for the computer for a session, instead its an other episode of Star Trek

Cheers

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joepanic

Respected Member
Day 34 Don't know when the last time i did this long without "hardcore porn" In one sense it almost seems to easy but in another I know I have been here before. Will just let time do its thing for now

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joepanic

Respected Member
Last night was day 35 caught up in watching the tube

This following statement I posted on another users journal but I think I'll repost it here

I truly believe there is no point in looking in the rear view mirror perhaps thats why its so small and the windshield is so large. Its one thing to never forget who you were,,, that way you won't repeat it. But to base your future on your past is counterproductive. Your not that person anymore. No one sets out to be a porn addict. We were pretty much dragged out of a what could have been a good life and dragged into this shit life of a porn addict. Many people may or may not have been hurt as a result but in my opinion no one was hurt more than the addict himself. In my story my wife knew I surfed a crap load of porn. She doesn't know I was outright addicted to it for so many years or some of the genres I was into and it shall stay that way. She does have some idea of why I watched it She couldn't care less that i watched it as long as I didn't involve her in it which i haven't. It never affected our marriage, She knows I gave it up for my own reasons. It's mentioned many times here the hurt that a porn addict causes to a partner, and yes all of it is true. But that is the only hurt that is allowed to be discussed here at rebootnation. Many times an addict might mention how their partner might have hurt them in some way along the way but it really doesn't get discussed in any depth, Porn addiction needs to be a much wider conversation. Less judgmental and a more supportive. I mention this mainly because the mandate of this site is to help people rewire their brains by supporting them while they withdraw from porn. But many of the topics seem to gravitate towards fixing relationships or fixing the damage to partners. Unfortunately an injured soldier can't drag another injured soldier off the battlefield

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Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
It's mentioned many times here the hurt that a porn addict causes to a partner, and yes all of it is true. But that is the only hurt that is allowed to be discussed here at rebootnation. Many times an addict might mention how their partner might have hurt them in some way along the way but it really doesn't get discussed in any depth, Porn addiction needs to be a much wider conversation. Less judgmental and a more supportive. I mention this mainly because the mandate of this site is to help people rewire their brains by supporting them while they withdraw from porn. But many of the topics seem to gravitate towards fixing relationships or fixing the damage to partners. Unfortunately an injured soldier can't drag another injured soldier off the battlefield

I think that this is an unfair and highly inaccurate caricature of Reboot Nation.

I think that you're seeing things through a very specific lens, one that's based on certain interactions that you had with the opposite sex, here in your journal and in the partners section. But your perception is colored if not warped by those interactions, particularly your feelings surrounding them.

The whole existence of Reboot Nation is the healing of the hurt (both psychological and physiological) caused to (mostly) men and women. And we (men) get to discuss it all the time in helping each other.

That controversies are typically shut down isn't some kind of prejudice against men and for wives of rebooters. It's just simply good administration. We all have healing to do, and these sidebar controversies can become distracting and obfuscating of the purpose of this place, which is toward all our healing.
 
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