quit for good

[joepanic]

I appreciate where you're coming from, Joe. But we're not here to solve the world's problems or a societal crisis, we're here to solve our own problems that are brought about through porn.

You had a good post above (from January 3rd) that I thought would be a good exit and "Success Stories" post.
don
While it's entirely up to you as to whether continuing to journal here is helpful to you, please understand that we're all doing the best we can with our own approaches to beat this thing, and any debate about methods, religious or non-religious, counting days or not counting will not be helpful here.

Perhaps your right Phineas I am not even sure what I was still doing here seeing as I posted in the success section way back in May 2024 Guess I had been coming here so long it just felt normal. By leaving I feel like I might be leaving a few friends. In the end I no longer find a purpose here. I am not even on much. I have suscribed to a few other websites that have to do with for lack of a better term "being a stand up man" The info I am getting there is helping me in my newfound life a lot more these days. I guess it's the next step in the natural progression. There is also no critisism on my views beliefs or tactics in my growth. So Cheers all and Goood Luck Joe out

 

[joepanic]

Pornography is not the problem we need to solve in our lives. It is only trhe bandage for other issues amd problems. Solve those and youshould be able to easily kick the pornography.......

 

[joepanic]

I must say that my biggest legacy will be that I will have kept porn from entering my childrens lives. They have been taught that "porn" is not the problem nor is it the solution to a problem. They are being taught that as young men they can be successfull in a world that no longer values true masculinity. They are being taught that if they can not find a mate or lose a job or face some other negative issue in our modern society change must come from within. They are being taught that addiction is an illness and that an ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure. They must take control of their lives and not let others influence them.

 

[joepanic]

Just for reference I have gone from pretty much a daily "mo" to a sporadic once a week"mo" habit. Porn is no longer in the mix. I thihnk it's been 4 days since I "mo'd"

I have now now moved on from reading web pages on porn addiction and how to quit, or the effects porn has on the user, "women" . families, society, whoever and whatever else. To me these no longer serve a purpose....at least for me. What I have moved on to are.... pages on masculinity ie "The good man initiative" "The Man effect" and "A happier man" Most go over the same things just wording it differently, but some come up with some really interesting articles. In the end it's more moving forward that is important. I refuse to dwell on the fact that I was a porn addict. Probably the reason I don't count the days of being clean. At one time that definitely served an important purpose as it was working to a specific goal. In a way moving away from something. Now I am moving toawrd something. Not "the new me" but the "me that should have been". I hope I have the time left to make it happen.

 

[joepanic]

Porn is better than real sex!!! said no porn addict ever. Having read so many journals here over 8 years a lot comes down to "men" who had trouble finding a sexual partner turning to porn as an answer. All they ever wanted was a loving partner. In some cases by the time they found one they were in the throws of addiction. Now they are the bad guys. Guys who's charactors are now open for judgement by others. Not because they are addicts. because they view porn. Can any guy here ever say they would prefer porn over having sex with a real loving partner.

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

Porn is better than real sex!!! said no porn addict ever. Having read so many journals here over 8 years a lot comes down to "men" who had trouble finding a sexual partner turning to porn as an answer. All they ever wanted was a loving partner. In some cases by the time they found one they were in the throws of addiction. Now they are the bad guys. Guys who's charactors are now open for judgement by others. Not because they are addicts. because they view porn. Can any guy here ever say they would prefer porn over having sex with a real loving partner.

I know what you mean. It's been one of the things for me, among others. All my life I've been trying to feel normal. And although I've made some progress, I'm not there yet. 20 years ago I discovered this fuckin shit called porn (and PMO) and it was like"Hey, I could distract myself with this thing." I realized that I could turn off my feeling of dread and discomfort in my own skin and connect to that fantasy. And it worked. I'd be lying if I said it didn't work. It worked for a long time. But it hasn't been working for a long time now. Nowadays, I put porn on because I knew it was supposed to disconnect me but I find myself in the middle of watching thinking about my problems. So I'm fucked if I do, fucked if I don't. These days I'm like a junkie, just getting my fix. Haven't had fun with this shit in a long time.

 

[Percival]

Porn is better than real sex!!! said no porn addict ever. Having read so many journals here over 8 years a lot comes down to "men" who had trouble finding a sexual partner turning to porn as an answer. All they ever wanted was a loving partner. In some cases by the time they found one they were in the throws of addiction. Now they are the bad guys. Guys who's charactors are now open for judgement by others. Not because they are addicts. because they view porn. Can any guy here ever say they would prefer porn over having sex with a real loving partner.

I would say this is 99% true. With porn, you can indulge whatever and exactly whatever kind of fantasy is in your head right this moment: that's the part of the draw. But even so it's still not better, but might be more attractive in the moment, if that makes sense. Kind of the same way that it isn't better to eat a jelly-filled donut over something healthy and good for you, but for a moment it's more attractive.

I'm not disagreeing with your thesis, just to be clear. Real sex with a real woman is better, but also more complex and complicated, while porn is simple and selfish, and there is a draw to that.

 

[joepanic]

I know what you mean. It's been one of the things for me, among others. All my life I've been trying to feel normal. And although I've made some progress, I'm not there yet. 20 years ago I discovered this fuckin shit called porn (and PMO) and it was like"Hey, I could distract myself with this thing." I realized that I could turn off my feeling of dread and discomfort in my own skin and connect to that fantasy. And it worked. I'd be lying if I said it didn't work. It worked for a long time. But it hasn't been working for a long time now. Nowadays, I put porn on because I knew it was supposed to disconnect me but I find myself in the middle of watching thinking about my problems. So I'm fucked if I do, fucked if I don't. These days I'm like a junkie, just getting my fix. Haven't had fun with this shit in a long time.

Yes totally agree It was like a huge circle,,,,, an almost what came 1st the chicken or the egg. I guess that depends on who's giving the opinion. some of us went to porn as an escape from what was wrong in our lives. But some seem to feel we we wanted that escape. Escape is .a natural response to a problem we were not able to solve with any other means. Usually a last ditch attrempt. If only others had understood us and not missunderdstand us now it would be so much easier to find the answers I'm not sure I ever found it "fun" Perhaps the only time was if I had a real girl who was into watching it but any other time it was an emotional roller coaster because I knew it was not the answer. The only problem was no one to give me an answer to the problems i was facing.

 

[joepanic]

Real sex with a real woman is better, but also more complex and complicated, while porn is simple and selfish, and there is a draw to that.

These words are so incredibly true. No one ever gave me an owner's manual to growing up so I went seeking the answers on my own. This is the result.....