Watching Porn supports rape?

L

LeafandStem

Guest
Got really worked up over this.
Is watching porn effectively supporting FORCED consent...thus rape?
Consider pornstars may have been trafficked or forced in by a drug habit and so on. Maybe not always.
Using escorts can  be seen as rape on the same notion.
I must say that I do agree with these arguments.
What do you think?
If you agree...how do we move forward? Supporting one of the most horrific acts...I just can't forgive myself.
Perhaps we too are victims...sucked in...hooked...and blinded by a high...but we must recognise that we are not the only victims, and there is a greater victim than us.
LEM
 
L

LeafandStem

Guest
Hey, yeah you make some good points. I am absolutely filled with guilt at the moment, you are right.

'The vast majority of escorts are gender studies graduates, who eventually figure out there is no job attached and need a way to pay the bills... not trafficking victims.'

I'm not sure that that is right though (the quote above), where have you got that information from? I am guessing it is a joke.

Also, someone who is trafficked does not make a choice to be trafficked. They are taken against their will. I know you did not say it is their choice to be trafficked, and yes you have a point about drug addicts choosing to take drugs. But lets say you pay for an escort who was trafficked, she does not want to have sex with you but does anyway as she fears being beaten by her pimp. She has given you consent but that consent has been FORCED. Rational or irrational she has sex with you out of fear. Whether that reality exists or not I do not know, but it may.
As with a porn performer, perhaps if they refuse to perform they will be beaten or abused....so they are FORCED to consent. It is consent but it is not REALLY. Their circumstances mean they feel like they have NO CHOICE.

This is the moral battle I am facing and I am sickened by myself.

Yes, perhaps my clothes were made by someone who was trafficked. I do not know. So it is irrational for me to not be sickened and worried deeply by that as well. Maybe my fish dinner last night was caught by a child trafficked in Asia...who knows. Just as when a john sees an escort he does not know if that escort was trafficked. By buying that Asian fish I am effectively ,THOUGH unknowingly, supporting trafficking, abuse and whatever else comes with it. By paying for a sex worker who was trafficked from Romania I am also supporting trafficking but UNKNOWINGLY. I guess it is accidental immorality or just ignorance. The john does not intend to support trafficking and he would say and KNOW that he does not......but he has.....just as he did when he bought that fish....

I think I feel so guilty about potentially using an escort or porn performer who was trafficked  because rape comes into it. Does the fact that consent is not REALLY given and is FORCED, in some circumstances, mean that rape takes place? I have no logical reason to believe that I undoubtedly have used a sex worker who was trafficked or held against her will, but I may have and I will probably never know.

Rape is having sex with someone who has not given consent. I think it is foolish to believe that consent cannot be forced and to think that that form of consent (FORCED) is an acceptable form on consent. So, yes consent is given....so I get it...it is not 'rape'.... but at the same time...is having sex with someone who has been forced to give consent not also awful?

And if someone has been forced into prostitution due to a drug habit, yes it was there choice to use drugs, but was it their choice to get addicted? They are selling sex to feed their addiction. By using their 'service' you are taking advantage of someone in a vulnerable position; that is wrong. They may not WANT to have sex with you, but they will....because they need the money for their addiction. Yes they give you consent....but because they are forced to do so.

Look, these are just some thoughts I am having right now. I think it is important to discuss.

 

malando

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
I think these are important questions you are asking. And rather than thinking you are a bad person, I see you as an ethical person who is trying to regain your integrity. You are right, you can never know if consent is forced in this context - even if they shout it from the rooftops. Therefore the only safe course of action is to avoid sex with escorts and avoid porn. The only way to be sure you have consent is to find a consensual relationship where there is no financial inducement - it must be based purely on a desire to be together and experience mutual pleasure. Stick to this rule and you will not compromise your ethics and you will free yourself of guilt. Do not destroy yourself with guilt for what has happened in the past though. You can't beat yourself up for what you didn't realise in the past. What you can do is live ethically in the present and future. Forgive yourself an move on. You are an ethical person. Don't listen to people who would try to talk you out of your inner convictions. They are doing that to excuse their own breach of ethics.
 
L

LeafandStem

Guest
thanks man, I am trying to move past it but I can't right now....the only way to stop it is to fap. I am really trying not to do these things and I feel terrible
 
Top