The Monkey On My Back

[mousemat1]

Hi guys.

Sorry I didn't reply earlier but I've had a really bad month. I slipped up a couple of times. I don't want to reset my counter to zero as I think it would just crush me!

Thanks Quick Draw for they support.

Gavalar, we've just got to stick at it. There is no other option. My flatline was devastating. I just felt like my sexuality had been surgically removed. It's hell. I know my problem isn't physical because my erections when I slipped up were good. We've just got to face up to the fact that we've fucked our brains up and we need to give them time to heal.

You're not alone my friend. Together we can beat this!

Good luck!

 

[mousemat1]

Well, I stayed strong and avoided all porn for a grand total of 275 days and then I slipped. I saw what I thought was an innocuous picture of a pole dancer and that triggered the desire to start looking at soft core pictures. This inevitably lead to looking for harder material. I can't say I truly binged but I have to count it as a real set back because in the last 3 months I've slipped a few times.

I set my counter to zero on January 1st. I'm on day three of no PMO. My resolve is weak, I have to confess, but I just need to stay focused and continue adding to my journal here as it helps to keep me focused.

I was really going well. It just proves how strong this addiction is. We can't really become complacent for a moment because once this porn pathways have been fired up it's hell trying to avoid porn.

Good luck everyone!

 

[chivikoko]

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[Rebooter2019]

Well, I stayed strong and avoided all porn for a grand total of 275 days and then I slipped. I saw what I thought was an innocuous picture of a pole dancer and that triggered the desire to start looking at soft core pictures. This inevitably lead to looking for harder material. I can't say I truly binged but I have to count it as a real set back because in the last 3 months I've slipped a few times.

I set my counter to zero on January 1st. I'm on day three of no PMO. My resolve is weak, I have to confess, but I just need to stay focused and continue adding to my journal here as it helps to keep me focused.

I was really going well. It just proves how strong this addiction is. We can't really become complacent for a moment because once this porn pathways have been fired up it's hell trying to avoid porn.

Good luck everyone!

Hey mousemat,

I read the 4 pages of this post and even though you slipped, I must say that I'm really impressed! You did 275 days of not looking to porn even with all the drawback and the almost nonexistence of seeable progress. It's been almost 2 years that I'm doing my best and keep relapsing. The best I did was 29 days. I had to tell you, because you actually inspire me to keep going and that it's possible if you continue.

I know how it feel to relapse after reaching a point you never reached before, but you can do it. You've already done it!

I wish everyone the best.

 

[mousemat1]

Thanks Rebooter. Your word really mean a lot. I'm struggling to get back on track at the moment but I feel as though the 'porn fever' is starting to subside a little again so hopefully I can get another run going.

I wish you the best of luck with your reboot. This addiction is really shit. We've just got to do our best!

 

[mousemat1]

I decided to reset my counter. I relapsed and at first it wasn't so serious. I glanced at porn for about 10 minutes on various days, but as you might expect, it escalated to watching once a day, everyday. I have always cautioned against binging if you relapse and I wasn't able to heed my own advice. The only positive I can take from this relapse is that I wasn't edging for hours. Sometimes, I was only searching for images and I didn't masturbate.

I'm on day 10 of my new reboot and one thing I have noticed is that the intensity of the cravings seem to have diminished by themselves. The idea to look at porn entered my head last night and I just couldn't be bothered. I'm hoping that this is a positive sign.

I'm going to have to write on here on a daily basis. I noticed that when I stopped contributing I lost focus and that led to the relapse.

Wish me luck!