REBOOT
- Thread starter DIMA-NBA
- Start date
BrassBalls707
Active Member
Awareness precedes control, friend. You succeeded at the first step. I believe you can move to control now! Don't just exhaust yourself suffering triggers, fighting against it. Better yet, work to avoid the triggers altogether!
DIMA-NBA
Active Member
Day 7 
Thank you @Blondie and @BrassBalls707! I managed yesterday even though at times I thought of PMO escape.
Thank you @Blondie and @BrassBalls707! I managed yesterday even though at times I thought of PMO escape.
DIMA-NBA
Active Member
Day 9
Feeling grim today. I woke up around around 5.30 am and couldn't fall back asleep. I made some eggs for breakfast. Went to the gym with my gf.
I reached out to my psychotherapist because I need to share these things with someone.
Financial problems:
1. Full renovation of the floor of the house
2. My gf wants us to go to the seaside for a vacation
3. My gf wants to go to Spain which I do too but now is not the right moment
4. I have to buy a new car because I wouldn't be able to drive in the city center due to some bullshit low emission zone
5. I have an annual payment for a fund (stocks) I invested in
Obviously some of these things have to drop out. But as of right now, I can't do a single 1 let alone all of these things I mentioned.
I'm also worried about my young sister as I've mentioned before, my parents are splitting up and I don't want her to become a girl who is "difficult to be respected"
2 out of my 3 closer friends aren't that close to me right now and it's hard to imagine that it'd become better regarding those 2 friendships.
Well, I've got to stay strong!
Feeling grim today. I woke up around around 5.30 am and couldn't fall back asleep. I made some eggs for breakfast. Went to the gym with my gf.
I reached out to my psychotherapist because I need to share these things with someone.
Financial problems:
1. Full renovation of the floor of the house
2. My gf wants us to go to the seaside for a vacation
3. My gf wants to go to Spain which I do too but now is not the right moment
4. I have to buy a new car because I wouldn't be able to drive in the city center due to some bullshit low emission zone
5. I have an annual payment for a fund (stocks) I invested in
Obviously some of these things have to drop out. But as of right now, I can't do a single 1 let alone all of these things I mentioned.
I'm also worried about my young sister as I've mentioned before, my parents are splitting up and I don't want her to become a girl who is "difficult to be respected"
2 out of my 3 closer friends aren't that close to me right now and it's hard to imagine that it'd become better regarding those 2 friendships.
Well, I've got to stay strong!
Iwantthesecondchance
Active Member
It is difficult for me to give a good response, because I've never been in this situation. But as you said all the points up there are difficult to meet at once. And I am not sure if you have already discussed it or not with your gf, but maybe you have to discuss these things and prioritize them together as definitely some of them have to be postponed?
I am sorry about your family situation, and, as I understand from your messages, in the country where you are coming from, it is not regarded good when a girl is raised up without a father. Have your parents considered this side as well?
It is difficult for me to give advice as these issues are very delicate and I might not be the best person to give advice in these matters.
But I am sure that the situation can be improved to a certain extent through honest conversation and feedback.
Good luck! I hope it gets better soon!
I am sorry about your family situation, and, as I understand from your messages, in the country where you are coming from, it is not regarded good when a girl is raised up without a father. Have your parents considered this side as well?
It is difficult for me to give advice as these issues are very delicate and I might not be the best person to give advice in these matters.
But I am sure that the situation can be improved to a certain extent through honest conversation and feedback.
Good luck! I hope it gets better soon!
DIMA-NBA
Active Member
@Iwantthesecondchance thank you for your input man! I got lucky and at least the investment I sorted out as my mom lent me the amount. I will return it on a monthly basis.
Unfortunately I relapsed shortly after my last post. Anyways, today is Day 8.
I've had some luck lately. I saw a video on YouTube with more "general life advice" by one of my favorite comedians. It had something to do with believing in myself and not letting limiting beliefs control me. It may sound funny to some, but he advocates for "saying things out loud" when a negative thought comes, replace it with something positive.
For me, what I've been saying to myself lately has been "I'm stronger than my vices. I can overcome them."
I recorded myself saying that, and I play it on my headphones when it's not convenient to say things out loud.
Unfortunately I relapsed shortly after my last post. Anyways, today is Day 8.
I've had some luck lately. I saw a video on YouTube with more "general life advice" by one of my favorite comedians. It had something to do with believing in myself and not letting limiting beliefs control me. It may sound funny to some, but he advocates for "saying things out loud" when a negative thought comes, replace it with something positive.
For me, what I've been saying to myself lately has been "I'm stronger than my vices. I can overcome them."
I recorded myself saying that, and I play it on my headphones when it's not convenient to say things out loud.
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Iwantthesecondchance
Active Member
Wow this is great! You are blessed to have such a supportive mother! I am glad that things start to sort out for you! Keep going!
And a great initiative about motivating yourself! I would like to borrow this idea from you!
And a great initiative about motivating yourself! I would like to borrow this idea from you!
DIMA-NBA
Active Member
Day 9
I appreciate your support! @Iwantthesecondchance Feel free to borrow that idea, as long as it works for you, let me know how that goes!
Yesterday was stressful at work, as it has been lately. I made a short video with the audio I had recorded with just 3 photos. I find it grounds me. I showed it to my gf, she was very supportive. I'm one lucky man.
I appreciate your support! @Iwantthesecondchance Feel free to borrow that idea, as long as it works for you, let me know how that goes!
Yesterday was stressful at work, as it has been lately. I made a short video with the audio I had recorded with just 3 photos. I find it grounds me. I showed it to my gf, she was very supportive. I'm one lucky man.
DIMA-NBA
Active Member
Day 12
I continued writing in my notebook with the intent to motivate myself and to remember why it's worth abstaining, to keep going when the going gets tough. I felt good about that. My gf noted I looked Zen through the day.
I wrote the rhymes in my notebook, to motivate myself and I'm thinking about creating a mini Lofi sort of song
with the sobriety theme.
Have a great week ahead to all the great people in this forum!
I continued writing in my notebook with the intent to motivate myself and to remember why it's worth abstaining, to keep going when the going gets tough. I felt good about that. My gf noted I looked Zen through the day.
I wrote the rhymes in my notebook, to motivate myself and I'm thinking about creating a mini Lofi sort of song
with the sobriety theme. Have a great week ahead to all the great people in this forum!
DIMA-NBA
Active Member
Day 13
Yesterday was stressful at work and I was very tired in the evening. Another clean day, despite the challenges at work and in my personal life. I still managed to find the time to play the video with my affirmations multiple times.
The key thing I think for me is to not look for an escape through PMO.
Yesterday was stressful at work and I was very tired in the evening. Another clean day, despite the challenges at work and in my personal life. I still managed to find the time to play the video with my affirmations multiple times.
The key thing I think for me is to not look for an escape through PMO.
DIMA-NBA
Active Member
I am bored at work right now and I feel like I have no close friends. Not a good feeling. I started being thoughtful about my failed endeavor as a personal trainer and my goal to lead group workouts one day. I guess it still is possible, but I weigh 126KG as of today. I'd have to lose around 30 kilograms in order to look like I work out again.
I still train now but I only do boxing twice a week and light gym sessions twice a week. A lot of injuries including a torn MCL (knee) back in 2023 on my 3rd workout in Brazilian Jiu Jutsu.
I feel down and under the weather. I texted one old acquaintance. It's going to be key
to abstain in such moments when I feel this way.
I still train now but I only do boxing twice a week and light gym sessions twice a week. A lot of injuries including a torn MCL (knee) back in 2023 on my 3rd workout in Brazilian Jiu Jutsu.
I feel down and under the weather. I texted one old acquaintance. It's going to be key
to abstain in such moments when I feel this way.
DIMA-NBA
Active Member
Day 14
Thanks as always @GBS for your motivating words and for being an example, a beacon for how this can be conquered.
Got up at 6.30am this morning and went and walked the dog with my gf, then a workout together at the gym, did about 30 minutes of light cardio on the stationary bike. While doing that, I watched videos on my phone of Arnold Schwarzenegger working out. He is one of my role models (as one could imagine from my profile picture here). That motivates me, to a certain point. It kind of makes me sad too, knowing what I'm capable of physically and the place I'm at physically (and not only) currently.
Work is bothering me. I hope one day I can go back to doing what I love, structure it well and make good money from it.
I might be meeting with an old friend from school over the weekend, which could be interesting. He was my classmate. I missed the meetup with my class as I was ashamed of some things I did and said while I was in psychosis in 2020.
I have to keep going.
Thanks as always @GBS for your motivating words and for being an example, a beacon for how this can be conquered.
Got up at 6.30am this morning and went and walked the dog with my gf, then a workout together at the gym, did about 30 minutes of light cardio on the stationary bike. While doing that, I watched videos on my phone of Arnold Schwarzenegger working out. He is one of my role models (as one could imagine from my profile picture here). That motivates me, to a certain point. It kind of makes me sad too, knowing what I'm capable of physically and the place I'm at physically (and not only) currently.
Work is bothering me. I hope one day I can go back to doing what I love, structure it well and make good money from it.
I might be meeting with an old friend from school over the weekend, which could be interesting. He was my classmate. I missed the meetup with my class as I was ashamed of some things I did and said while I was in psychosis in 2020.
I have to keep going.
DIMA-NBA
Active Member
Day 15
It's really up to the point at work where I'm thinking of new job opportunities, the shifts are difficult for me. Also, the work environment is bad, meaning I don't get along currently with most of the colleagues.
I looked up my notice period. I think I should update my CV and look for a new job.
On the bright side, I was able to create a short song-ish with the sobriety theme. I uploaded it to YouTube and I'll listen to it to remind me why I started and to never give up. My girlfriend was super supportive when I showed her my lyrics for the song.
Have a great day free from PMO guys and thank you for reading!
It's really up to the point at work where I'm thinking of new job opportunities, the shifts are difficult for me. Also, the work environment is bad, meaning I don't get along currently with most of the colleagues.
I looked up my notice period. I think I should update my CV and look for a new job.
On the bright side, I was able to create a short song-ish
with the sobriety theme. I uploaded it to YouTube and I'll listen to it to remind me why I started and to never give up. My girlfriend was super supportive when I showed her my lyrics for the song. Have a great day free from PMO guys and thank you for reading!