REBOOT
- Thread starter DIMA-NBA
- Start date
DIMA-NBA
Member
Day 15
In the evening I became very irritated partly
because I found out I had a wart on my hand and
it fucking sucks that if a person has a normal
Monday to Friday job with a regular schedule as
me, I have to pay extra for weekend doctors,
regardless of the fact I have national health
insurance. Because I felt so on edge and irritable I had a bit of an urge to PMO to "calm myself down". I thought "14 days is not bad". I started rationalizing using PMO. I neglected some self care, I was tired. I looked up some provocative video, but I didn't open it. I went to bed.
In the evening I became very irritated partly
because I found out I had a wart on my hand and
it fucking sucks that if a person has a normal
Monday to Friday job with a regular schedule as
me, I have to pay extra for weekend doctors,
regardless of the fact I have national health
insurance. Because I felt so on edge and irritable I had a bit of an urge to PMO to "calm myself down". I thought "14 days is not bad". I started rationalizing using PMO. I neglected some self care, I was tired. I looked up some provocative video, but I didn't open it. I went to bed.
DIMA-NBA
Member
I fucked up on Day 16. It was 2.30am, it was after a music concert and I PMO-ed. I felt exhausted and I gave in. I did it until 4.30am, which ruined the following day, I felt as if I had done a night shift. Looking back at it, I didn't and still don't have a proper system in place for the evening (when I get the most urges) and for when I'm bored.
I PMO-ed like 3-4 times in a 24 hour time span. My gf was also sick so I hadn't seen her in like 3 days. I know that's definitely no excuse for my behavior but it's worth noting.
@Blondie Do you have some "fatherly" advice for me?
Especially with regards to the system that one should have?
I PMO-ed like 3-4 times in a 24 hour time span. My gf was also sick so I hadn't seen her in like 3 days. I know that's definitely no excuse for my behavior but it's worth noting.
@Blondie Do you have some "fatherly" advice for me?
Especially with regards to the system that one should have?
Blondie
Respected Member
Hey @DIMA-NBA, sorry to hear about this. It happens (the 24 hour marathon), especially when you go back to it. It's not okay but it is what it is, so don't be too hard on yourself.
As regards to a system you can put in place, it would be hard for me to say because one man's life is different than another's. My system would look totally different than yours, and that's a good thing. However, before putting a system in place you need to ask yourself why, why do you even want to be without porn in the first place? What is your WHY? Because motivation won't help you, at least not in the long run. Will power also won't help you overcome all obstacles, though I'm a big fan of will power, however, it's not enough. At the end of the day, it's better to focus on the man you want to become than focusing on NOT looking at porn. One is a external goal that's far off from where you're standing, and quite frankly, it's overwhelming to think about it at times, believe me I know the feeling. Which is why thinking about what man you want to become is much easier on your cognitive load, because all you need to do is work on that "man" every day by making a 1% improvement. Anyone can do that.
Do you go to late concerts often? If so, what systems can you create to protect yourself from returning home late at night for a quicky? When we're tired it's so easy for us to fuck up! Maybe your system for three months will be you don't do late things for the time being, or maybe you do, but either way, think about it and be willing to change. Staying up late is not bad, but staying up late when it makes you susceptible to breaking your commitments will be a problem. Is that the man you want to be?
I blew my almost-two-year streak because I drank too much one Friday night all by myself. No Bullshit. Of course there's more to the story, however, it would not have happened without two bottles of wine. What was I thinking? Well to be honest, I wasn't thinking. Drinking wine had become a system for me over that last year, and although I take responsibility for my actions, I can honestly say I never really planned, or ever wanted to be man who drank that much. "It just happened" as they say. First it was only one bottle on the weekends. Then two on the weekends. Then it started slipping into the weekdays. Then eventually I started drinking a little more than one bottle a night whenever I drank, and for whatever reason that particular night, I decided to try two bottles for the first time all by myself because the lady was gone and why not? So not only did I feel like utter shit the next morning, I had blow my two year streak. Talk about a hangover from hell!!
. Thankfully I'm not an alcoholic and have successfully cut back on my drinking and that's all good now. However, what I do know is that I'm one compulsive motherfucker, and whatever I do for a few times, either good or bad, instantly becomes a habit for me. Which is why it's extremely important for me to ask myself in all areas of my life. Is this the man I want to be? Have I chosen this or has it chosen me? Be it porn, drinking, food, TV, you name it.
Systems. Systems. Systems.
Do you have passions besides looking at porn? You don't have to tell me, but figure it out for yourself.
Furthermore, what do you do when you get back from work everyday? Because whatever that is IS YOUR SYSTEM. Don't think you don't have a system in place now because you definitely do, we all do. Which is why it's so scary because most of us don't even think about what we do with our time (or wine!).
Is this system helping you to be the man you want to become or is it not? Do you watch too much TV? Too much TV that's tempting?
Only you know the answers to these questions.
I hope that helps.
Best
As regards to a system you can put in place, it would be hard for me to say because one man's life is different than another's. My system would look totally different than yours, and that's a good thing. However, before putting a system in place you need to ask yourself why, why do you even want to be without porn in the first place? What is your WHY? Because motivation won't help you, at least not in the long run. Will power also won't help you overcome all obstacles, though I'm a big fan of will power, however, it's not enough. At the end of the day, it's better to focus on the man you want to become than focusing on NOT looking at porn. One is a external goal that's far off from where you're standing, and quite frankly, it's overwhelming to think about it at times, believe me I know the feeling. Which is why thinking about what man you want to become is much easier on your cognitive load, because all you need to do is work on that "man" every day by making a 1% improvement. Anyone can do that.
Do you go to late concerts often? If so, what systems can you create to protect yourself from returning home late at night for a quicky? When we're tired it's so easy for us to fuck up! Maybe your system for three months will be you don't do late things for the time being, or maybe you do, but either way, think about it and be willing to change. Staying up late is not bad, but staying up late when it makes you susceptible to breaking your commitments will be a problem. Is that the man you want to be?
I blew my almost-two-year streak because I drank too much one Friday night all by myself. No Bullshit. Of course there's more to the story, however, it would not have happened without two bottles of wine. What was I thinking? Well to be honest, I wasn't thinking. Drinking wine had become a system for me over that last year, and although I take responsibility for my actions, I can honestly say I never really planned, or ever wanted to be man who drank that much. "It just happened" as they say. First it was only one bottle on the weekends. Then two on the weekends. Then it started slipping into the weekdays. Then eventually I started drinking a little more than one bottle a night whenever I drank, and for whatever reason that particular night, I decided to try two bottles for the first time all by myself because the lady was gone and why not? So not only did I feel like utter shit the next morning, I had blow my two year streak. Talk about a hangover from hell!!
. Thankfully I'm not an alcoholic and have successfully cut back on my drinking and that's all good now. However, what I do know is that I'm one compulsive motherfucker, and whatever I do for a few times, either good or bad, instantly becomes a habit for me. Which is why it's extremely important for me to ask myself in all areas of my life. Is this the man I want to be? Have I chosen this or has it chosen me? Be it porn, drinking, food, TV, you name it.Systems. Systems. Systems.
Do you have passions besides looking at porn? You don't have to tell me, but figure it out for yourself.
Furthermore, what do you do when you get back from work everyday? Because whatever that is IS YOUR SYSTEM. Don't think you don't have a system in place now because you definitely do, we all do. Which is why it's so scary because most of us don't even think about what we do with our time (or wine!
).Is this system helping you to be the man you want to become or is it not? Do you watch too much TV? Too much TV that's tempting?
Only you know the answers to these questions.
I hope that helps.
Best
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Great job!
DIMA-NBA
Member
Listen what she said, ask how she feel and repeat some key points ehat she said and ask did you understood it correct. I dont know does it help but she might need to have feeling to be heared.. stay strong!
DIMA-NBA
Member
Day 11
Thank you @Freerider for the advice!
Yesterday I felt really good. We resolved things with the gf and the workmates were fun.
Thank you @Freerider for the advice!
Yesterday I felt really good. We resolved things with the gf and the workmates were fun.