going to try the 12 steps program

12stepps

New Member
I am reading russel brands book on addiction and going to try his 12 steps program. This will be how I share it.
 

12stepps

New Member
STEP 1:Are you a bit fucked?
1 What do I want to change? I want to change my porn addiction and have only emotional sex with real people.
2 What pain or fear do I associate with change in this area? I fear I can't make good social relations
3 What pleasure am I getting out of not changing? 30 minute joys of masturbation everyday.
4 What will it cost me if this doesn?t change? I will be alone, dying a virgin with erectile disfuntion. Will never see true love. Will never amount to anything and be less of a person than i deserve to be. I won't be the person my family thinks i am.
5 What are the benefits I could gain by having this changed? I can be very succesful, have intimate relations with my girlfriend I wouldnt have to live a lie anymore
6 How has this problem placed my important relationships in
jeopardy? I can pplease my girlfriend, I push away the people i love, I am an introvert and lost all my friends,
7 Have I lost respect/reputation due to this problem? Yes. People don't see me as succesful as i can be
8 Has this problem made my home life unhappy? Yes
9 Has this problem caused any type of illness? No (maybe social anxiety)
10 Do I turn to the type of person that enables me to practise this
behaviour or to companions who enable me? No I try to fix it and have nice friends
11 What part of the problem do the people who care about me object
to most? They don't know about it
12 What type of abuse has happened to me and others due to this
problem?I can't please my girlfriend and I am lonely
13 What have I done in the past to try to fix, control or change this area
of my life? I keep trying to quit for the last 3 years. I can't do it. I need something else. This is why i read this book and now trying this program
14 What are the feelings, emotions and conditions I have tried to alter
or control with this problem? Anxiety, especially when i am studying( so my brain is working hard and feeling lackluster because its hard subjects) Boredom. The big 2 are anxiety and boredom
15 Right now, if this is such an important area in my life, why haven?t
I changed? Because I am weak. I am an addict and don't know a way out. I want to get better. I really do. I know I can be better than this.
16 Am I willing to do whatever it takes to have this changed, healed or
transformed? This time, I hope to God and these 12 steps. I do. I really hope I do.
 

Stiffy

Active Member
I?ve gone through the 12 step program for drug addiction. I don?t buy into the whole ?drug addiction is a disease? idea, but the program is great and therapeutic. A lot of healing can be done by going through the steps and being honest.

Having said that - in my experience the best thing I got from the program was the meetings and gatherings of fellow addicts. It allowed me to meet people in similar situations so I not only knew I wasn?t alone in my struggles, but also establish relationships with people striving for better. That was key for me and those relationships I built are still my closest circle of friends. That was how I was able to put down the hard drugs that I was literally dependant on physically and emotionally/mentally.

I know there are 12 step meetings for sexual addictions as well. I?ve been to one before. They are very non-judgemental and open meetings. While I think it may be a bit different than the drug and alcohol themed meetings, I would still recommend attending if you really want to go through the 12 step program. I?m not sure if it is possible to work through the 12 step program on your own. My understanding is you will need a sponsor (someone who has worked through the 12 steps themselves) to take you under their wing and guide you through the process. I was taught that as a necessary ingredient in the 12 step recipe to success.

Just my input! Either way that it goes I wish you the best success. Life has too much to offer for us to not want to break the chains of addiction/habits that are so destructive to our lives. I salute you for your efforts and I am fighting the good fight beside you. Never give up.
 

12stepps

New Member
Stiffy said:
I?ve gone through the 12 step program for drug addiction. I don?t buy into the whole ?drug addiction is a disease? idea, but the program is great and therapeutic. A lot of healing can be done by going through the steps and being honest.

Having said that - in my experience the best thing I got from the program was the meetings and gatherings of fellow addicts. It allowed me to meet people in similar situations so I not only knew I wasn?t alone in my struggles, but also establish relationships with people striving for better. That was key for me and those relationships I built are still my closest circle of friends. That was how I was able to put down the hard drugs that I was literally dependant on physically and emotionally/mentally.

I know there are 12 step meetings for sexual addictions as well. I?ve been to one before. They are very non-judgemental and open meetings. While I think it may be a bit different than the drug and alcohol themed meetings, I would still recommend attending if you really want to go through the 12 step program. I?m not sure if it is possible to work through the 12 step program on your own. My understanding is you will need a sponsor (someone who has worked through the 12 steps themselves) to take you under their wing and guide you through the process. I was taught that as a necessary ingredient in the 12 step recipe to success.

Just my input! Either way that it goes I wish you the best success. Life has too much to offer for us to not want to break the chains of addiction/habits that are so destructive to our lives. I salute you for your efforts and I am fighting the good fight beside you. Never give up.

Thanks for your input! I would really want a sponsor and to be able to attend a 12 step program but I don't live in the US and in my country these things are not common. Add that to the fact that I live in boarding school with very little access to travel. So I am kind of on my own. Maybe I can try to find an online sponsor here in the forum?
 

Stiffy

Active Member
Yeah! Even if not in this forum I can almost guarantee you can find a resource for online sponsors that you can work the steps with. I just realized that this is ?Russel Brands? program so I?m not sure if his program functions the same as the original twelve step program. That may invalidate my input all together. I?m not sure.
 
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