STEP 1:Are you a bit fucked?
1 What do I want to change? I want to change my porn addiction and have only emotional sex with real people.
2 What pain or fear do I associate with change in this area? I fear I can't make good social relations
3 What pleasure am I getting out of not changing? 30 minute joys of masturbation everyday.
4 What will it cost me if this doesn?t change? I will be alone, dying a virgin with erectile disfuntion. Will never see true love. Will never amount to anything and be less of a person than i deserve to be. I won't be the person my family thinks i am.
5 What are the benefits I could gain by having this changed? I can be very succesful, have intimate relations with my girlfriend I wouldnt have to live a lie anymore
6 How has this problem placed my important relationships in
jeopardy? I can pplease my girlfriend, I push away the people i love, I am an introvert and lost all my friends,
7 Have I lost respect/reputation due to this problem? Yes. People don't see me as succesful as i can be
8 Has this problem made my home life unhappy? Yes
9 Has this problem caused any type of illness? No (maybe social anxiety)
10 Do I turn to the type of person that enables me to practise this
behaviour or to companions who enable me? No I try to fix it and have nice friends
11 What part of the problem do the people who care about me object
to most? They don't know about it
12 What type of abuse has happened to me and others due to this
problem?I can't please my girlfriend and I am lonely
13 What have I done in the past to try to fix, control or change this area
of my life? I keep trying to quit for the last 3 years. I can't do it. I need something else. This is why i read this book and now trying this program
14 What are the feelings, emotions and conditions I have tried to alter
or control with this problem? Anxiety, especially when i am studying( so my brain is working hard and feeling lackluster because its hard subjects) Boredom. The big 2 are anxiety and boredom
15 Right now, if this is such an important area in my life, why haven?t
I changed? Because I am weak. I am an addict and don't know a way out. I want to get better. I really do. I know I can be better than this.
16 Am I willing to do whatever it takes to have this changed, healed or
transformed? This time, I hope to God and these 12 steps. I do. I really hope I do.