fedupwithporn
Member
8/24/18
++++ Intro to be posted later
Dear Recovery Journal, My old journal timed out. I went back to my old thread and I learned that it had been more than 120 days since I had last posted to it. I feel shame about this but also a part of me is proud to be back after a rough patch of heavy porn dependece just to get by.
Today Im just gonna write about how I feel i my body, b/c I almost used just now but I was actually feeling like such crap that I feared how much worse I would feel after I used. Right now my head hurts, my muscles are tired, I feel irritated, so rritated that I want to crawl out of my skin. THe depression i feel feels like a heavyness in my chest and my eyes that tells my brain that Im too tired to do anything of value. It feels like there are a million little beads of anxiety flowing throigh my blood vessels pouring out into my arms and my fingertips.
Part 2 im going to write a list of symtoms that are associated with using porn and by transitive properties also remit when you stop using porn.
1) Chronic ED - Don't have
2) Delayed Ejaculation - Don't have
3) Brain fog/concentration problems - do have
4) Lethergy/ lack of motivation - do have and am currently experiencing
5) Social Anxiety and lack of confidence -do have
6) Depression and emotional numbness - do have and experience often
7) Declining interst in real partners - do experience
Eight) Escalation to porn that does not match original tastes or sexual orientation - do experience example: misoginy and bimbification - go against my values
++++ Intro to be posted later
Dear Recovery Journal, My old journal timed out. I went back to my old thread and I learned that it had been more than 120 days since I had last posted to it. I feel shame about this but also a part of me is proud to be back after a rough patch of heavy porn dependece just to get by.
Today Im just gonna write about how I feel i my body, b/c I almost used just now but I was actually feeling like such crap that I feared how much worse I would feel after I used. Right now my head hurts, my muscles are tired, I feel irritated, so rritated that I want to crawl out of my skin. THe depression i feel feels like a heavyness in my chest and my eyes that tells my brain that Im too tired to do anything of value. It feels like there are a million little beads of anxiety flowing throigh my blood vessels pouring out into my arms and my fingertips.
Part 2 im going to write a list of symtoms that are associated with using porn and by transitive properties also remit when you stop using porn.
1) Chronic ED - Don't have
2) Delayed Ejaculation - Don't have
3) Brain fog/concentration problems - do have
4) Lethergy/ lack of motivation - do have and am currently experiencing
5) Social Anxiety and lack of confidence -do have
6) Depression and emotional numbness - do have and experience often
7) Declining interst in real partners - do experience
Eight) Escalation to porn that does not match original tastes or sexual orientation - do experience example: misoginy and bimbification - go against my values