Journal entry one

neonnut

Member
Finished Day 20. I tried to have sex again. A lot of it didn?t feel like anything. I had some moments where I barely felt something , and then it goes away. I try to focus on keeping it there but it doesn?t stay. I don?t want it to seem like I?m overthinking but l don?t think I?ll feel anything at all if I don?t put any thought into it. I?ve noticed that some positions feel better, but not enough to finish. It is kind of annoying that it doesn?t feel much more sensitivity or progress after 20 days  but I?ll keep trying. Anybody got any position suggestions or just any suggestions in general ?
 

neonnut

Member
I just relapsed. I was feeling discouraged because there weren?t really any signs that I was getting any closer to fixing my DE. I would?ve even accepted just havjng mornjng wood once as progress . But I felt exactly the same for the last 3 weeks. And I was just thinking about how I haven?t ejaculated in a long time so I kinda just did it. I?m torn between continuing nofap or attempting the anti death grip plan on curedeathgrip.com.
 

neonnut

Member
Success update ! Since my last post, I relapsed again within 24 hours. After that I haven?t done anything at all since. The girl that I usually have sex with was back home an hour away, so I decided to try with a different girl thinking maybe she would be tighter or better or something. Missionary felt pretty much the same , and then we switched to doggystyle.  Felt the same pretty much and then after awhile I just felt it come up and I finished for the first time ever.
 

Fappy

Respected Member
Excellent news! Well, the relapse thing isnt excellent... but you were able to successfully penetrate and finish. So thats something good isnt it?
 

neonnut

Member
So I?ve been having success lately. But I would still use P to MO every now and then. The next time I had sex I would still be able to perform so I thought nothing of it. I was mainly thinking ?at least i don?t do it as much as I used to.? And i think it may have caught up to me. Tried to have sex last night and struggled to stay hard. Usually I get an erection and it can stay up long enough for me to enter just fine. Anyways, I am just restarting my journal so I can hold myself more accountable this time. I guess I have to focus on my end goal of completely taking P out of my life and not just being able to have sex.
 

neonnut

Member
Day 2. I?ve tried sex twice since my last post. Both times getting hard wasn?t much of a problem , but I would get soft quick in between positions. Also for the first time in a long time I had sex without Oing. These past few times I?ve been with a different girl so I?m not exactly sure if it?s partially because of her or not. Only time will tell I guess.
 

neonnut

Member
Day 3. No urges to watch P whatsoever. I feel like the urges just come in random spurts after awhile. I also feel like consistent sex keeps urges away for the most part. I doubt anyone?s reading these anymore but for anybody who is , I have a question. Are you able to finish from multiple positions during sex? Or just 1-2?
 

mjery

Member
Hey there,

I admire your courage for keeping up. The fact that you are still posting is a sign of strong willpower. However, I suggest that you should add up some tiny features to your daily life. Doing sport five minutes a day, meditation, eating more green stuff, making new friends,... These tiny features are very essential for your journey. Otherwise, you might slowly lose your hopes and get tired.

Wish you bests.
 

neonnut

Member
Thank you for the tip. I am a college basketball player so a lot of my time is spent around basketball but I do have some free time where I could be adding another tiny feature to my life. One of my coaches randomly gave me a book to read and it?s pretty good so I?ll think I?ll add that since I don?t read as often as I should.
 

neonnut

Member
Day 6. Tried to have sex again and no problems whatsoever. I guess I?m back to normal now. Just gotta make sure I dont fall for any urges to watch P later on
 

neonnut

Member
Back for another reboot. Been having a lot of urges lately and I?ve been struggling a bit to fight them. Mostly just posting this to keep track for myself and because I feel like I hold myself accountable more when I post. So if you read this, you don?t have to comment anything but if you want to I am always open to input.

Day 1:
Tried to have sex, couldn?t get hard enough and stay hard enough to even do it. And I also don?t think I?ve had a non p induced erection in weeks.
 

neonnut

Member
Day 3: fought a lot of urges that originated from things I see on Instagram. Also getting urges when I?m bored with nothing to do , but getting up and doing anything helps
 

neonnut

Member
Rebooting again. Things are gettin a lil outta hand now. As in watching P multiple times in a day outta hand. I know once I start school I?ll be busy so it?ll be easier but I don?t want to wait til then to start working on it. Anybody have any tips to not keep going back after quitting?
 

neonnut

Member
Day 15 still going strong. I?m not sure I?m doing well because I?m really making progress or because I have a roommate so I can?t do anything. I am also busy with school and basketball so I?m pretty occupied. Noticed my libido is somewhat high which is a different than how it was when I first rebooted for the first time
 

neonnut

Member
Day 28. Relapsed on day 26. Honestly just did it out of boredom, I haven?t really thought about doing it in a long time and I feel like I?ve gained more control over myself.
 

neonnut

Member
Hello,
I am basically adding to this journal entry from 3 years ago because I feel like I desperately need a reboot and this journal was my best way of holding myself accountable. It's gotten pretty bad and I feel like my mental health has taken a toll because of it. So I am going to challenge myself to go 30 days (again) and go from there.
 

Fappy

Respected Member
welcome back buddy! its god that youve come back for another try, hopefully this will be a more lasting one. yes go for the 30 days, but first just go for 5 days. then 10, then 15 etc etc.
 
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