My first post on RN

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Mblanc92

Guest
?Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.?
? Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Hello guys. I'm colombian, 29 years old. Sorry if my english is not very good. I started my recovery from porn adiction one year ago, but relapsed many times. I have lasted tree months without seeing porn, expereincing all the good cahnges you may read in other posts, but finally relapsed for not being able to deal with the anxiety caused by other problems. At this point i'm completely aware that porn masturbation is not pleasant, but can't stop relapsing after one or two months without porn. I know that the key is to find a balance in your life, a purpose, etc. but Tranquility escapes like water between hands. I don't have a friend to talk about it, or maybe yes but I would be embarrassed to do it.
 
Welcome to the forum. Regarding the relapses, "to succeed, you must first fail". It's a tough lesson to learn but you're aware there is a problem which is the first thing. If you can go two months, you can go three without masturbation. Just try to keep yourself busy with other activities. Start working out, keep a journal, read more books and focus on improving yourself, for you, so noPMO is just one piece of a larger puzzle.

Your English is far better than my Spanish so we can completely understand. :D
 

Fappy

Respected Member
Ola! and welcome to the Nation.
3 months is a great achievement. What things helped you get that far? and what were the triggers that caused you to relapse before?
 
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Mblanc92

Guest
Hey guys, thanks for the replies, its very important for me. I get that far -3 months of no PMO- by making a day by day routine of meditation, sports, and study. The trigger was to have lost an exam in college. It causes me a terrible anxiety. I think being rejected by a girl could be another trigger, which causes my anxiety grow and grow.
 

Fappy

Respected Member
OK then, so we know that anxiety is your biggest trigger. So in situations of high anxiety such as the ones you mentioned, be on high alert against possible relapses! Stay away from devices which allow access to porn until the anxiety subsides
 

Sentimental_geek

Active Member
Welcome to the forum and thanks for being so  honest about your trials and journey. Despite the relapses, take pride in the fact you have stood up for yourself. You mentioned anxiety due to other issues, besides porn, that can lead to relapse. If you have anxiety that snot related to porn addiction, have you thought about seeing a therapist?
 
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Mblanc92

Guest
I've considered it, but i think my anxiety is not so severe. I've been handling it well. Even when i break with my ex girlfriend i handled that anxiety and sadness with success. The relapse wasn't only for anxiety. It was a mixture of arrogance, sexual excitement, and believing that i had already won the battle against porn.
 
Welcome, here you have much support. Love your Lou Tzu quote..I have meditated to passages from the tao de ching quite a bit. It's a good place to turn to during this time of healing. Good luck my friend.
 
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Mblanc92

Guest
Thanks for all guys, I really have a feeling of peace when I come here. Tao philosophy have been an excelent guide for this purpose. I not consider myself "Taoist", -actually I'm atheist- but in this process you have to open your mind in order to be able to heal it, and to heal you.
 
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