I guess every form of refuge has its price

J

J01

Guest
Phinn and Nick, thanks for the encouragement-it is great to be in this with you guys!

I tweaked my name a bit from jixu to J01 but the battle and goal remain the same-take care!
 
J

J01

Guest
Will spare the details but I have gotten off track a bit. Talked with my AP and I feel pretty good over-all about things but need the accountability. Back to the battle.

Day 1
 
C

Cmax

Active Member
J01 said:
Two weeks or so into the forum now-came here by the "must read" Your Brain on Porn.

50 years plus old, never a daily user but more of the sporadic use while looking for relief from work stress. Although I never did web cams, escorts, strip clubs etc the plain old vanilla stuff was more than sufficient to push me into discouragement, shame, and defeat.

At first I just focused on stress reduction, but, in this life, that is a losing battle. Stress is going to come no matter what we do; the key is properly handling the stress. We all know one way that doesn't work, the reason we are here. I have recently seen the great power that encouragement can bring, and that is why this forum is so helpful to us.

As a practical matter, I have found having an accountability partner to be a big help. it doesn't have to be some 2 hour meet-up at Denny's; just a simple weekly report or staying in touch is helpful. However, beware-I have previously lied to my AP, and it is no guarantee to help you if you don't use honesty and commitment.

No more heading to the cheating side of town. You can't hide your Lyin' Eyes.

Best wishes to all the fighters and warriors out there. If you have recently stumbled, get back up. if you are doing strong and great-keep on keeping on. It is an honor to be in your midst.
Click to expand...
That book saved my sex life!
 
J

J01

Guest
Doing pretty decent in the initial stages of this restart of a restart! Glad to be by the 12-14 day period, a time frame that has tripped me up in the past. Have been massively plundered by urges some days while experiencing few on others. Have been getting outside, exercising, and trying to increase the social activities a bit. Thankfully work has been manageable. Feeling good about the general direction of things.

Phin and Cmax, thanks for the encouragement.

40 Day Clean
 
C

Cmax

Active Member
J01 said:
Doing pretty decent in the initial stages of this restart of a restart! Glad to be by the 12-14 day period, a time frame that has tripped me up in the past. Have been massively plundered by urges some days while experiencing few on others. Have been getting outside, exercising, and trying to increase the social activities a bit. Thankfully work has been manageable. Feeling good about the general direction of things.

Phin and Cmax, thanks for the encouragement.

40 Day Clean
Click to expand...
No problem......as long as the urge is not followed by action....you're good!
 
G

guitar1968

Well-Known Member
J01 said:
Doing pretty decent in the initial stages of this restart of a restart! Glad to be by the 12-14 day period, a time frame that has tripped me up in the past. Have been massively plundered by urges some days while experiencing few on others. Have been getting outside, exercising, and trying to increase the social activities a bit. Thankfully work has been manageable. Feeling good about the general direction of things.

Phin and Cmax, thanks for the encouragement.

40 Day Clean
Click to expand...
Congrats! I see that you have had a multi-year journey with this site. It's always interesting seeing people coming back. It makes me wonder if I should make sure I never go away. Will I ever feel like I can make it out there on my own or is it better to just always check in here even if it is once a week. Today is 147 days for me with no porn and no PMO. I am on day 47 of hard mode. I would really like to make a year of no PMO before I start winding down. I guess I'll see how things go!
 
C

Cmax

Active Member
guitar1968 said:
Congrats! I see that you have had a multi-year journey with this site. It's always interesting seeing people coming back. It makes me wonder if I should make sure I never go away. Will I ever feel like I can make it out there on my own or is it better to just always check in here even if it is once a week. Today is 147 days for me with no porn and no PMO. I am on day 47 of hard mode. I would really like to make a year of no PMO before I start winding down. I guess I'll see how things go!
Click to expand...
Great job gentlemen....day 94 for me....LET'S DO IT!
 
J

J01

Guest
Urges have lessened quite a bit since my last post, although there have been 2 or 3 challenging days in the mix, including today. Need to keep an eye on work stress which is coming alive a bit again! Been doing good at refraining from random web surfing.

Thanks for the encouragement guys!

60 Day Clean
 
J

J01

Guest
Had a slip last week after letting some web surfing get out of control. I had been doing good recently at keeping it under control so I'm not going to over-analyze it or get too disappointed. Going to keep a current count and a restart count to keep the big picture in view. Keep going, that is the name of the game!

Current streak: 6 day clean
Restart recap: 71 days out of 72 clean
 
Phineas 808

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
guitar1968 said:
I kind of like this idea too. It shows the work and progress but also shows the slip. Interesting.
Click to expand...

That's kind of something I'll do if I've had to 'reset to 0', because of course it's not truly '0', but there's an overall picture taking shape, our overall recovery. True, we lapsed; and true, we want to track our abstinence from the unwanted behavior, but our main trajectory is away from this stuff- even if we had a minute, a moment, a day, or more into our 'red-line' behaivor.
 
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