Something positive

[Lauralou82]

Hey... I've come back today just to let you ladies know all is well. I'm now with a partner who understands the impact of my previous relationship and I think he genuinely does love me... it's so nice to have a shared sex life with him too! I can still flashback and get a bit in my head but I'd say over the past month or so it seems to be a bit quieter. The intimacy side of things is fantastic! I've never felt more consistently loved... he's not over the top, sometimes it's about me some times it's about him but I've never felt he wasn't present or engaged with me during sex.... I feel so much better in myself too being looked at and taken care of has helped so much.

With the help of my employer, doctor and the police I managed to get my ex out of my life... got landed with a load of debt and a whole new list of fears and anxieties to work through but myself and my kids are safe. The violence did escalate quite severely and he stopped me coming on here. Thought it was time I came back to thank you ladies for the support (god knows what would've happened if I didn't have the resources on here at the time) and let you know I've found a light at the end of the tunnel... so can anyone else. I'm still learning a lot about making sure people treat me with genuine respect and I'm not isolated anymore.... I think the true healing is just about to start though and I feel well enough to be able to communicate accurately again.

Has anyone got any success stories where they remained with their partner or went on to a genuine loving relatiinship? I still catch myself getting paranoid which isnt easy to manage but is getting easier.

 

[Emerald Blue]

Indiepeaches, it?s great to see that life is better for you now. Long may your happiness continue.

Your situation with your ex must have been unbearable at times. It sounds just awful and I?m glad you?re out of it, and that you were able to protect yourself and your kids by getting out of such a toxic, damaging relationship. For sure, it?s going to take time to heal but that?s only to be expected.

Yes, it is possible to rebuild a loving relationship after porn addiction, and many of the partners that have joined this forum are doing so. Undoubtedly the history of porn addiction is also part of the relationship history too. The possibility of relapse is always there, and that applies to all addictions. The relationship has been forced into changing, but there are some positive changes that are very significant. It?s not just about my partner quitting porn, I?ve had to change too, but these changes have been necessary. Like being assertive and standing up for myself, like knowing where my boundaries are, like recognising that I have needs of my own, not necessarily relationship needs but life in general. My self-mage has changed beyond recognition too. One of the most significant changes has been the realisation that I must take responsibility for my role in the relationship. When my husband was in addition I was responding to and accepting his terms and conditions, which were set to pursue and protect his addiction. I was passive. Now I accept joint and equal responsibility. So I?ve had to step up too. It?s certainly possible to recreate a positive, loving relationship BUT it?s not possible to erase the past. It?s a significant part of our shared history.

I hope your new relationship works out. X