YOU?RE DELUDING YOURSELVES ? Recovery is not always possible!

DepressedAndOut

Active Member
Okay, I had enough of seeing so many people burying their heads in the sand! Look?. there is not ONE research that studied the recovery of people from PIED ? not one research. Yet people are more than happy to go around and spread around a misleading notion that recovery is possible for most people, if not all.

This is nonsense! Just utter nonsense. Your hope and lack of balls to swallow the red pill is deluding you into thinking that it is possible.

All this talk about recovering stems from few observations on message boards. YES? just a few observations of TRUE success story. SUCCESS, loosely defined, is, at an absolute MINIUM, that of someone being able to get his fucking penis erect when having sex, on a consistent basis with no side-effects after ejaculating. Who fucking cares if someone starts a fucking ?success? topic declaring success at not PMOig for three months! PATHETIC!

The vast majority of people are fucked, most of them seriously fucked. And yes, I?m talking about those that have managed to beat the addiction by abstaining from Porn for 2,3,4,5,6 years plus!

In fact, I even question the legitimacy of Gabe Deem?s 9 month recovery ? that?s way too fast for someone that stared PMO at puberty.

Also, Noah Church?. has he even declared if he?s fully recovered yet? I?ve seen a lot of his YT clips and I don?t recall him ever saying that his erections are back to normal, that his sexuality is back to normal. Not one. And yet here he is spreading around the notion that recovery is possible. He calls himself coach church and charges for his advice ? come on?. Do you not see what?s happening here?

I?ll reiterate again, all of those ?success? stories are filled with ?minor success? and not the success that we are looking for, which is: to have our 10/10 erections back (at minimum), libido back and healthy appetite for women.

Enough is enough.

We?re still understanding this PIED thing and now it?s another time for reflecting on PIED with a critical lens. Is recovery truly possible? Look at the so many people that have abstained for so long and are still struggling and look at the people that have recovered fully ? do you honestly this it?s anywhere near evenly matched???

Really, maybe Gary Wilson can do a lecture clarifying him comments that he made a while back ? which is that of people may not recover.

Seriously, you need to tackle this topic head on and stop burying your head in the sands and being absorbed into the comfort of others telling you that recovery is possible. No evidence of that whatsoever apart from the handful of people. 
 

Guts

Member
Posts like this are what this forum doesn't need.

I think the very fact that we go through flatlines is enough evidence that recovery is totally possible. The flatline is your brains last mechanism to stop itself from damaging itself anymore, at least that is how I see it. If you're able to MO or even PMO then I don't think the damage you've done to yourself is permanent. Neuroplasticity is a scientific fact now, if your brain didn't do it I don't think you could even be alive right now.

You've only been doing this for 2 years now, this guy recovered after 3 years https://yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/index.php?threads/finally-over.24924/ , this guy needed more than 2 years as well https://yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/index.php?threads/the-cold-hard-truth-2-years-rebooting-1-5-years-no-porn.11567/.

During your 6 month hardmode reboot did you not see any progress? I also believe you said you were MO'ing everyday after you did that reboot, I wouldn't recommend doing that. If you did your research on these forums you'd know that you can't keep having orgasms after a reboot, I can show you many examples on here why that is.

If you feel that rebooting is not helping you then why not get yourself checked out by a doctor? If you don't have anything wrong with you physically, then your only other option is to keep abstaining until you are back to normal. It's really that simple.
 

Tyr

Member
I agree with Guts,

Also, where are the stories of all these guys going 2 years hard mode + rewiring and not recovering? I've only ever come across a very small amount.

There are hundreds of success stories, not just 'a few'. No, not all of them are 'perfect' success but the quality of life is sure better and with more time, more healing will occur. Most of the time guys write success stories out of excitement, excitement tends to occur when they have successful sex for the first time.

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-accounts/rebooting-accounts-page-1/

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-accounts/rebooting-accounts-page-2/

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-accounts/rebooting-accounts-page-3/


There is far more evidence in these pages of likelihood of successful recovery over what you're offering.

What is it that you're even proposing? Just accept we're all doomed forever, then what? Go back to porn? You're not providing any alternatives, simply spreading your doubt. You're in a very stressed state, that's fine, but unless you have something else to offer you're wasting your time posting.

Regardless of whether or not some people recover, life will be better without porn.
 

Pete McVries

Active Member
I had PIED for 12 years (absolute lifeless dick when being intimate with women). After ~4 months of hard mode, I had succesful sex. I have been having sex since that point and I have only failed once. And that was in the second round. The next night I was good to go again. I had consecutive sex 4 days in a row without the slightest problem. I get hard by just snuggling. My erections stay for a long time and don't fade anymore. They had been fading brutally even while watching porn and I was PMOing with a half hard dick that needed constant stimulation. Even my excessive precum "problem" noticeably got better after five months. Withdrawals and urges occur but are a walk in the park compared to the beginning of the reboot. My porn fetishes have almost vanished. My 3 year long depression melted into thin air after only 26 days of hard mode reboot. I haven't been depressed for a single day ever since. I sleep extremely well. Before, I used to sleep up to 12 hours on the weekend and still felt tired. Nowadays I wake up on my own after 6-7 hours of sleep and feel refreshed. I'm so much more outgoing and socially competent. There are so many benefits, it is absolutely insane. I can only speak for myself but rebooting and powering through the first 3 months might have saved my life.

By the way. click this link to buy some of my snake oil which cures PIED in a heartbeat.

Jokes aside, I'm familiar with your story and I hope, you will eventually see the light at the tunnel. Being in your shoes must be extremely frustrating and I cross all my fingers that you will recover one day!

Take care!
 

wes381

Member
Pete McVries said:
I had PIED for 12 years (absolute lifeless dick when being intimate with women). After ~4 months of hard mode, I had succesful sex. I have been having sex since that point and I have only failed once. And that was in the second round. The next night I was good to go again. I had consecutive sex 4 days in a row without the slightest problem. I get hard by just snuggling. My erections stay for a long time and don't fade anymore. They had been fading brutally even while watching porn and I was PMOing with a half hard dick that needed constant stimulation. Even my excessive precum "problem" noticeably got better after five months. Withdrawals and urges occur but are a walk in the park compared to the beginning of the reboot. My porn fetishes have almost vanished. My 3 year long depression melted into thin air after only 26 days of hard mode reboot. I haven't been depressed for a single day ever since. I sleep extremely well. Before, I used to sleep up to 12 hours on the weekend and still felt tired. Nowadays I wake up on my own after 6-7 hours of sleep and feel refreshed. I'm so much more outgoing and socially competent. There are so many benefits, it is absolutely insane. I can only speak for myself but rebooting and powering through the first 3 months might have saved my life.

By the way. click this link to buy some of my snake oil which cures PIED in a heartbeat.

Jokes aside, I'm familiar with your story and I hope, you will eventually see the light at the tunnel. Being in your shoes must be extremely frustrating and I cross all my fingers that you will recover one day!

Take care!

Encouraging story and thanks for that.I have some questions.How long has it past since you have recovered?Did your libido, mw are back to normal? I ask this questions because  i read this might not be the same as was before,and I haven't found story's of recovered people saying how life is after 2-3 years after their recovery.
 

aquarius25

Respected Member
I think this is a matter of how you view "recovery" and "recovered". Some people think you can be "cured" while others view themselves as never "Cured" but as an addict for life but either "in recovery" or "consumed by their addiction". My husband is 3 yrs porn free. He can have sex when he wants to. His performance is impacted by stress from time to time but overall he functions physically with no complaints here. He experienced PIED  symptoms for over two decades. He is someone you could say is "recovered" but he chooses to view himself as "in recovery". He sees himself as on a journey to continue to progress and be better than he was the day before because for him it isn't just about weather or not he can become erect. It's about quality of life and sex is only one part of a bigger picture. It is important to understand these differences because otherwise you could easily become very discouraged as the poster of this thread clearly has become and for that I am sorry. Hope is paramount for happiness.
 

Pete McVries

Active Member
wes381 said:
Encouraging story and thanks for that.I have some questions.How long has it past since you have recovered?Did your libido, mw are back to normal? I ask this questions because  i read this might not be the same as was before,and I haven't found story's of recovered people saying how life is after 2-3 years after their recovery.

As of tomorrow I'm clean for 6 months. My libido and MW are back to normal. I had a flatline in the beginning that lasted 26 days and ended with a wet dream. After that everything improved drastically and things are still improving. As I said, after ~4 months I was able to have sex.
 

Fappy

Respected Member
Nope. Im recovered. You lose.
Hey mods, why not delete a post like this? One that, oh I dunno, refutes the whole purpose of this forum?
Great job guys.
 

Pete McVries

Active Member
I strongly advise against deleting 'such' posts. This is a forum and it's main purpose is to exchange information, views and experiences. They might differ, even by a huge margin, but deleting posts that are unpopular or even 'false' in one person's perception is censorship in my opinion. And that, I personally wouldn't want to have. There is a real human behind the OP and he seems to struggle badly despite trying to recover by the best of his abilities without a lot of success. Who wouldn't be frustrated maximally?!

And he might not even be wrong. There are quite a few cases where recovery seems a lot more difficult in many ways. Even though, I personally suspect his problems derive from elsewhere but what do I know? Neither am I a doctor nor can I take a closer look at him. All we have are written words on a forum.
 
J

jorge2166

Guest
In this person's case, pornography is not the problem. Nobody is left impotent for life for having used porno so he has used it for 20 years. There are people who have used porn for a long time since their puberty and despite this, they are cured in a matter of 1 year maximum in the worst case 2 years.

It is possible that this forum member has a different problem and needs medical help.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?
 
D

Deleted member 17609

Guest
Conan said:
Hate to revive old topics especially ones with a title like this one but I thought I should hive my two cents.

Yes, some people will never recover, but not for the reasons you think. If you give up porn and porn substitutes and allow your brain to properly reprogram itself, after some time (weeks, months, years, depending on the damage you caused with porn) you will heal. The reason most guys will not is because they don't accept the fact that they are addicts and the never properly reboot themselves, constantly relapsing and going in circles for years.

ONE PMO RELAPSE AND YOU ARE BACK TO DAY ONE.

Hard pill to swallow but it's true. It's the same wit any other addiction. If a cured alcoholic goes back to drinking one night his addiction is back. Same goes for porn. It's not porn that gave you ED, it's your addiction to porn that gave you ED. Learn to accept your addiction and live with it because it's going to stay with you for the rest of your life, and if you are not aware of that you will relapse over and over, and truly never cure yourself.

Most people cheat during their reboot, some because of ignorance, some because they are looking for excuses like all addicts do.

- If you fantasize during the reboot it's just as bad as porn.
- Looking at instagram models or provocative images is just as bad as porn.
- MASTURBATING AND EDGING IS JUST AS BAD AS PORN. This is the hardest pill to swallow but in addict's brain these things are so closely linked to porn that they feel the same. Do not masturbate and especially do not edge. If you are doing this, you are not rebooting properly.
- Peeking at porn from time to time(no comment on this one)

Sex is a little of a grey area though. While the whole point of the reboot is to have sex, forcing it during a flatline is bad. If you however do have a strong urge for sex and can preform it can be a good thing for rewiering. Still, depending on severity of PIED and depending on the person's brain, sax can also be bad during reboot, but not as nearly bad as things above.

I agree that some success stories aren't really what I would consider a success, but everyone views things differently.  However what I can tell you is that almost none of the people who have been rebooting for long and haven't cured didn't go hard mode. They either had some sort of porn substitute or most commonly masturbated or edged. And who knows, maybe they even relapsed to pmo a couple of times, that just destroys all the progress all together.

This is more than just porn. Our bodies and brains are exhausted from years of damage. Do you really think that just not watching porn for a few months is gonna fix that? No it won't. The old 90 days mentality definitely needs to change, that didn't quite work even before, and it definitely doesn't work today. In fact, any days mentality is bad, it's not about days at all, it's for life, and it has to be for life. Stick with it untill it works and then continue sticking with it untill you die. That the only proper way to beat this.

I understand your depression and anger and bitterness, I have it too, for letting myself sink this low. But even if the chance of success isn't 100%, it's still the best one we've got, especially since there are no alternatives. It's either this or go back to fapping your soft cock to pixels and feel depressed for the rest of your life.
Great post. It sums up everything we have to know about PIED and rebooting.
 

hanso

New Member
You abstained rather long from porn, dind't you? Have you experienced no benefits and better erections?

First of all, I think it's warranted to question things as people often drift into making a cult out of everything. But I don't really understand what you're questioning about the benefit of abstaining from porn. With regards to the lack of studies you mentioned - haven't there been studies that showed with mrt-scans that the respective pathways vanish over time? However, I assume it's generally quite tough to conduct controlled studies about something that takes in many cases 1-2 years.

I can add my personal anecdotal evidence, which is that I was borderline impotent throughout my late teens and whole twenties because of constantly watching porn for 3-5 times a day. I was completely convinced that it was just me innately not being able to have proper and lasting erections. I abstained for 3.5 years. After roughly 2 years I had erections that were comparable to those I had in my early teens. Consistently. (I fell back into porn though, so fuck me  :-[)

However, by skimming through your posts, I'd like to mention that a lot of other things can also play into having bad erections or being sexually frustrated. Living with ones mom at the age of 36 is certainly not beneficial as well (even if it's the best mom in the world). I don't judge your circumstances, in fact I have total understanding for it. In case you're not already seeing a therapist, I'd like to encourage you to give it a serious try. If your mind is the only conversational partner you have to fix what let you into this impasse, it's very unlikely that you get out of it easily.
I am not classifying you as not normal or whatever by recommending to see a therapist. It's actually very normal for humans to get into situations in life where on keeps walking against the wall instead of taking a step to the side and walk throug the door.
 

Joncoynie

New Member
No, I've read numerous expert witness reports, and their people consistently report that remission helped them. Sessions of professional psychotherapists or psychiatrists help people. It is not for nothing that thousands of doctors worldwide began to study as a psychiatrist or study the human psyche even without being a doctor of psychology. Unfortunately, statistics show that people are increasingly in need of professional psychological help than a few decades ago. Of course, humanity has had psychological traumas before, but now, we suffer even more because of the amount of information that quickly enters our brains.
 
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Sliced

Member
DepressedandOut, I am really intrigued by your post.
I do think that 'recovery' from an addictive behaviour is possible, however agree that just a reboot feels unlikely to be as successful as people want it to be.
In my opinion this is for two reasons:

1) Unrealistic expectations -
When we think about recovery from drug/alcohol addiction for instance, we assume that people can recover but we accept that life will be different, someone might not just abstain from drugs/alcohol. People have to watch their levels of stress, make sure they stay connected to others and look after their emotional health for example.
For a lot of people with a porn addiction, they hold on very tightly to the belief that a reboot will restore them to a very healthy 'normal' sexual state (and I get this, I can't imagine how it must feel to accept that you arent 'normal' sexually - so much pressure is put on sexuality/skill etc. It must be unbearably difficult) HOWEVER porn addiction is an addiction, 'recovery' might not look like you want it to. 'Healthy' for you might not be what you want it to be. I also think that a lot of people base their idea of a 'healthy sex life' on what is portrayed in Porn and I think this is incredibly unfair on men, but that is another subject.

2) Unwillingness to address underlying issues.
If someone has an addiction to alcohol and is physically dependent, shaking, sweating, fitting without alcohol they can go to detox right? 8 days in detox, medicated off of the alcohol and they are better. No more alcohol withdrawals. But that doesn't 'fix' the addiction, it wont stop the person craving - alcohol is how that person copes, so if they dont have anything else to use to cope they will either relapse or have a really horrible time 'white knuckle-ing' life just trying to get through each day without using.
You dont take one drink and become physically addicted, you have to put a lot of work in to get to that point, a lot of drinking - ignoring a lot of negative consequences.

You dont PMO once and experience physical effects, you have to put a lot of work in to get to that point, a lot of PMO - ignoring a lot of negative consequences. So it stands to reason that recovery needs to involve a person addressing why they did a behaviour so many times that they changed their brain chemistry. What did that behaviour give you? What need did it fill? What are you missing in the rest of your life. I think recovery involves addressing these issue one way or another.

Overall I think recovery is possible, but a person will need to manage sex differently, everyone I know who has a successful recovery in anything has to manage all aspects of their lives differently. I know some people seem to do 90 days without PMO and are 'fixed' and I suggest that these people either found another way to meet their needs and therefore accidentally fell into recovery without acknowledging it, or they are lying.

Reboot is a useful tool in recovery but I dont believe it is enough on it's own.
 

Emptyroom

Active Member
This is such a strange and negative post. It doesn't make sense. I get what the person is saying I think but the person doesn't seem to understand what is meant by recovery. The person seems to me to have a sort of black and white outlook on the whole thing. I would compare the problem that we have to alcoholism. It is not something that you can completely recover from. It is not just about erections and being able to have sex. It is about changing your lifestyle to be more healthy and positive. It is about being on a positive journey through life. Isn't it more important to be on that path than to reach some sort of goal where everything is perfect? Of course everyone has the power to change his or her lifestyle for the better. Maybe the word recovery is misleading because it is a lifelong process. But it gets easier to go without PMO the longer you stay away from it and the more strategies you develop to be the best you you can be. Having this addiction can be a great motivator for you to become a better person.
 
Doom, despair, and agony.

The nature of addiction means a high likelihood of failure ... until such a time when one hits "rock bottom" and learns to hate the problem more than he or she hates not engaging in the behavior.

Day 104 here for me. It may tale 600 or more. But I've got nothing to go back to. Like many, in the end I couldn't even stay hard for porn. so ... what have I got to lose?
 
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Oh, incidentally, maybe I'll never be "cured" ... but if I could get to "half as bad", I'd consider it a success. I could work with that.
 

Maglue

Active Member
I'm seeing that fitness and diet and dopamine detox could be as important as no PMO in itself....
If you put your whole life into fixing this with the fitness and diet then I can't see why it won't work
 
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