Kraken's journal
- Thread starter Kraken
- Start date
Therapy has been going very well. I’ve had a series of unfortunate events this past week but was able to manage the situations and not use pmo to cope. And I’m happy about that. Weather is heating up and I’m excited to explore more of the outdoors. Also I’ve been watching a lot of interior design tv shows and am getting inspired to make my living spaces nicer.
I pmod two mondays ago and then again yesterday. It’s rough man, I’m not sure why it is becoming more frequent but I am committed to not pmoing because it has a ton of negative consequences for me. But more importantly, I am committed to having better work from home days and better days in general. I’ve been pretty bored recently and stressed about the identity theft I have experienced in addition to general life stresses. But pmo is not the way to relieve stress. I humbly admit to making mistakes and commit to the activities, inputs and communities that fill me with joy and that feel right.
I am going to go over my slips with my therapist today. In addition, I’ve noticed that the type and quality of information and content I’ve been feeding my mind has been mindless, negative and of pretty poor quality. I am going to focus on feeding my mind the material needed to achieve my dreams. Those dreams are health / fitness improvement and being more present/ enjoying my everyday life and adventuring
I’m doing well Chap. I got married last summer! And we bought a house together in the fall. Unfortunately a few weeks after our honeymoon and as we were buying the house, I got laid off. It took me around five months to find work again and that was a tough period. I’ve kept up going to therapy weekly and that helped me a ton. I’ve learned a lot about myself through that process.
Thankfully, I found a new job and have been there for several weeks now. It’s incredible how that lifted my mood and I’m enjoying it so far.
As far as pmo, I had a few struggle moments during the lay off but I was upfront with my therapist and we worked through it as it came up. At this point, I occasionally do very short censored p without m. So there has definitely been an improvement there with a steady trend of more mild content and less overall.
I’ve also worked hard to lessen the shame and negative feelings around pmo that came from my religious upbringing. Pmo isn't for me, but I have come to recognize that it provided a safe place for me to explore my sexuality as a teenager when I had no other outlet.
Life in general though has been looking up. I really love being married and it’s been a very special journey.
I hope you are doing well!
Kraken